Promises
by 2sidedstoryteller29995
Summary: She's just another girl. Even though her life isn't as exciting as her cop boyfriend he she does important things. Everyone relies on her. As the Reagan family enter tough times can they rely on her to help pick up the pieces and keep things from falling apart? Other Character
1. Just Another Case

The two men exchanged a nod. It was like a domino. Reagan yelled 'Police, open up.' There was a couple of audible grunts from behind the door, but whoever they were on the other side, they didn't move to allow them entry.

They decided that enough was enough. Taking this as welcome they raised the battering ram. The door came off its hinges and they rushed inside Not pausing to take in their surroundings the officers sprinted forth to intercept those escaping. Shots were fired. The officers retaliated. Reagan tackled, a man who appeared to be one of the ring leaders. Pushing him against the he was safely handcuffed. Jamie gasped as he gazed around him in amazement. The room was filled with women of oriental descent. They were chained to the walls. However, when he looked closer, he saw what they had been doing up until the moment they had been appreheded.

Printing fake money. The noble face of Benjamin Franklin was everywhere. Stacks of bills. Obviously counterfeit. Over in the corner Renzulli was arresting the gentlemen. For what though? It seemed that the felonies just mounted up. To think that they had stumbled across this on the beat. They had gotten word of a disturbance over the radio. Then called for back up, it could be heard that things were getting out of hand. A huge operation- _it was going to be some courtcase_.

As Caoimhe Fitzpatrick entered the 12th precinct one windy day that was what she thought. She was assiting on the 43rd street warehouse case. A business lawyer by trade she was helping in the building of the the case which was violation under the Employer's Act. As welll as the illegal importing and exporing of the cash. It turned out that on the day the cops had busted the operation they been just about to load up. Headed to the port. They had been exporting the money to Japan for months. For investment back into US businesses. They had been scaming the Japenese, and claiming the televisions which the companies made as payment. They were then sold on.

To be honest she herself wasn't too sure of the whole thing. However that was what she was here to find out, by interviewing the officers that made the discovery. She entered and walked up to the man at the desk. Introducing herself. 'Could I speak with officers Reagan and Cruz please?' Knowing why she was here she was led further into the station. Towards a locker room. She was left just outside the door. The rowdy chatter died down. Two men followed the sargent. One was dark haired and sallow. The other pale. And extremely good looking. _In my very unexperienced opinion_. She kew which one she would be starting with. The one that didn't catch her eye of course, she couldn't have herself distracted on the job.

She agreed that they should be interviewed seperately. When Renzulli sat down he flahed her a wide grin. They soon started talking about the incident. The build up- just another 911 call, the enterance- they hadn't co-operated, the warehouse- women in chains working machines which fired out dollar bills and so on Then she took Reagan's statement. He knew what she was looking for and painted an accurate picture, including minor pieces of infomaton whch would make the case more solid. She recorded the whole thing, writing it would have taken too much time and effort. Taking her attention away from the witness. To finish she asked him; 'would you be willing to testify to what you saw under oath?' He nodded.

'Okay, we're done.' He rose and she followed him. On the way out he wondered 'Are you a civil rights lawyer?'

'No, corporate law actually.'

Upon hearing that the team that had surveyed the documents seized from the warehouse were out doing the same thing on a different case, she decided to leave for lunch and come back later. As she attempted to part she got stuck. Trying to open the door. Officer Reagan held it oppen for her . 'So, you aked for yor right for a break?' he joked.

'You bet. Stepping out into the bright sunlight she glanced around slightly dazed and disoreintated. She was peckish but not quite sure in which direction sustinance lay she stopped.

Sensing that she was a bit lost he offered to show her a place 'that served the best pizza in town.' As they walked along they fell into easy conversation. She was a lawyer as was he. While he was a New Yorker born and raised in Brooklyn, she was new to the city, but loved it with all her heart. The chatter continued as they sat down to order, discovering that they both were a fan of the classic Margarita. They shared a 10". As they munched she had to remid herself to swallow before speaking. She wasn't used to eating around guys. She glanced down at the table, wiping around her mouth. Thank Goodness he didn't notice the state she was in. It was only then that she realized the reason his attention had moved away from her.

Suddenly he was out of his chair and across the room like lightning She glanced aroud in shock. There was a loud bang. The newly introduced Jamie had jus tackled the men standing at the counter. His gun had gone off in the process. The man who had been, it seemed silently threatning the cashier. In the hopes of gaining access to the till. He hadn't made a sound just moved behind the counter and pointed a gun at her head. _Thank goodness one of us was awake..._ She had been to busy gazing nto his eyes. Well, she could hardly do that now. He heart was pounding with anxiety.

After that everything happened in a blur. The criminal wa arrested Officers of the 12th precinct arrived in their droves to investigate, take statements and calm down the frightened bystanders. Then they all dieappeared. Just another normal occerance in th life of an NYPD officer. Then she went back to the station and had to speak with the guys who had looked at the files. They had enough to build a case, even without the need for witnesses.

It was just under three weeks later. She had tried everything but this was the only way left All she could do was hope that she wasn't arrested. She pcked up the phone and dialled the number she had been given. Someone picked up. Trying to remain calm she spoke. 'Hello, could I speak to J-Officer Reagan please?' He came on the line. She blabbed in a rush 'I'm sorry to bother you but I remembered smething about the incident three weeks ago in the restaurant with the armed robbery…'

'Sure, what it it? Now she had his attention it was bet if she just kept on going.

'Well, it came to me that I didn't quite get your number.' _And I really wanted it too, _she continued silently. There was a pause. At least he hadn't hung up. Waiting with baited breath she nearly collapsed when she heard low chuckle. _Well, at least it was a positive response, of sorts_… When he had recovered himself he reeled off his phone number. She scibbled the digets with shaking hands, hardly daring to believe her luck.

He stated 'You're pretty brave, wanting to keep in contact with me after my lunch suggestion meant you could have gotten yourself killed.'

'Not on your watch I'd bet- that was really cool.'

So they arranged to meet up on Friday night hopefully to have an uninterupted dinner. He suggested that she offer her ideas as to where to eat. She choose somewhere fancy but not too fancy. He warned her not to expect much. She wasn't going to- she had spent far too short a time with the opposite sex, to expect something high end. When she hung up she entered his number under Jamie. Just Jamie. Not Reagan the police commisioner's son. _Being a law enforcer must almost run in the family._

But she didn't want to have too high expectations. Or to pressure him. He probably got enough of that from the name. He didn't need that he job seemed stressful enough as it was. So, she just just texted him saying how much she was looking forward to Friday night.


	2. Out of the ordinary

**A/N: I'm looking for a title! All my creative juices went into the story itself and not what to call it. If you have any ideas as it develops please let me know.**

Her face lit up when she caught his eye across the room. She reached up her hand to beckon him over but he was aready coming this way. 'Hey, May I?' he asked politely indicating he was unsure whether he could sit down or not.

'Of course!' She practically yelled. She was a tad over excited. Not wanting to scare him off, she covered her mouth in embarrassment and lowered her tone. She needn't have gotten into such a tizzy though. No one realy noticed. They were too deeply engrossed with who they were sitting with. Soon so were they.

'You look in a good way.' So did he and she made a point of tellling him so. Out of his uniform and her out of her suit they both seemed more relaxed. She wondered if he ever, you know, switched off. The incident at lunch the other day showed that he didn't. However, there was no harm in trying.

She had moved with her family as a teenager. It had always been her mother's dream to see- and take a bite out of- The Big Apple. So was he, although his connections went back a few generations. They were both Catholics, attending the same church, although they'd never seen each other there before. She spoke with him about why she loved the city. Mainly because she enjoyed the freedom. The promise of not being talked about work, family, politics. Somewhere around the time they started discussing Obama was when the waiter taped them on the shoulder. This was a sure sign that he had been waiting there for longer than was strictly polite. They broke off their chatter long enough to check out the menu. 'My brother Danny says we use our heritage as an excuse to overdo it with alcohol. Can I get you anything?' _Here it comes_. The moment she had admit to him that she didn't drink in public in NY. He seemed a bit taken aback but recovered himself quickly. Opting to joining in having some iced tea. She didn't want to see him uncomfortable. So she felt compelled to explain the reason behind the unusual circumstances of her abstinance.

When she was finished 'Wow, that makes a lot of sense. Is that also the reason behind you not wearing heels? Not that you ned to, 5ft 2inches is very respectable.'

'You could say that. Do you have to be a certain height to be an NYPD officer?' She quickly tried to change the subject. Sensing she didn'tt want to talk about anymore he went with it. She had just told him something big. A major turn off for most guys. Obviously he had already noticed but had been far too polite to mention it to her face. She told him the thing you wouldn't have known about her other wise. The thing you wouldn't have spotted until she stood up. Her cp. Cerebral Palsy spasticity. Brain damage affecting her lower extremeties. It meant her balance and endurance were lower than normal, she had an abnormal gait pattern. Surgery as a child had helped, meaning she now walked almost everywhere independently but it was still noticeable. Her co-ordination was totally off. Which meant that of she was drunk she was likely to fall a lot more than the average person. Of course, that could be dangerous. NY's high incidence of muggers, sexual abuse cases made her weary of anything that would make it easier for her to be caught off guard. She wanted to stay safe. So she didn't drink.

They continued talking as if nothing had been revealed. She felt ten times better now. Usually telling a guy about her disability was a tip-off about his character. The good ones didn't run away. Needless to say she hadn't experienced many of them in her time. They got through the first course. Things were going well. Then Jamie got that distant look in his eyes again. The look which told her something was wrong. Her eyes automatically swivelled to the cash register. Nothing there. She followed his gaze. Just behind them was a couple. The woman had swallowed something incorrectly and was starting to choke. The man beside her seemed to want to help but had not clue what to do.

History was repeating itself. Time seemed to stand still. Jamie rose andd went to help the women. When a firm tap between the shoulder blades failed to do anything, he picked her up like she was nothing but a feather and performed the Heimlich manourve. The crab cake previously in her throat became airbourne. The women's airway was cleared. She started breathing normally again, tears streaming down her face. When she could speak again she gasped out 'I'm totally fine, no need to call an ambulance….' Everyone burst into sudden applause. Her husband offered to pay their bill but they refused.

As soon as the crowd of eager onlookers had dispersed and it was evident the women would live Jamie returned to the table. That was unexptected, sorry.' _What was he apologising for? That was an amazing feat_.

'I think I'm in safe hands with you Reagan, that is if I ever choke or have a gun pressed to my head.' After a second the akwardness that came with your date, just having saved someone's life went away. They continued talking. After dessert they split the bill. He offered to drop her off at home. She agreed, grateful to prolong the time they spent together. Plus, she was pretty certain his intentions were honourable.

When they pulled up at her building she climbed out. Not breaking off what she was saying '… so you didn't get in trouble with the Sargent for my little stunt?'

'Nah, he hardly noticed. Anyway the other cop you interviewed, my partner, Renzulli has done much worse. He's always begging to stop and give hot tourists rides to their next destination.

'What about you?' she questioned.

'I like to stick to the rules.' She liked the sound of that. It meant they were on the same page.

He took his duty seriously, walking with her right up to the door. She fiddled with her keys slotting them in the door. He turned to go, bounding down the steps and out onto the street. He then paused. She called out 'Goodnight Jamie!' Then he did something which shocked her. He blew a kiss. She made an attempt at catching it, almost overbalancing herself in the process.

'Oh, you just missed it', he teased. A reference to how her fingers had clumsily closed around the air in front of her nose.

'I'm so- she started. However he cut her off. He had bounnded up the stairs again. This time to plant a delicate kiss at the edge of her mouth. It was beautiful. He finished by saying 'I had a great time tonight. Maybe we could do it again soon? I'll call you.'

'I'd like that. He waited to make sure she was safely inside. Once in her appartment, she collapsed. With shock. Exhaustion. Emotion. He hadn't pushed her into anything. Instead he pushed her buttons. He was an amazing guy. Time would only tell.

**A/N: Thanks a million for the reviews, favourits, follows, it both scares me and excites me to know there are people reading this. Keep them coming and be honest! I'm not used to writing crime so, I hope that turned out okay. As you can tell from the genre filter this is not what the story is going to be about. I know this chapter wasn't too exciting but I felt I kind of needed to do an intro/background first. I hope I'm updating fast enough. You guys keep doing what you do and so will I. **


	3. Trying to make them see

6 months later:

As she walked into the living room her phone rang. Her heart leapt Checking the caller I.D. she sighed with relief. _Shouldn't he be here already?_ She picked up the phone. Jamie spoke in a rush. 'Hi, listen I'm really sorry but I'm not going to be able to make it tonight.' She had to admit she was a tad disappointed. Still, he was a cop and duty- the most likely reason behind his absence- came first. I hadn't taken her long to learn that and now six months into this relationship, she accepted it. Realizing she was in a world of her own she zoned back in. Just in time to hear him say; 'they're taking a statement now, I just want to make sure he's okay. He's a tough cookie but being mugged is a frightening experience for anybody.'

'What? She gaped. He repeated himself. His Grandfather had been mugged.' He seemed anxious. She assured him it was fine, urged him to hang up and be with him but to call her if there was any news. Jamie being Jamie he would be on the case as soon as possible. She had never met the man actually, nor any of Jamie's family. However she was aware they were close. Families needed to be together after something like that, so she didn't mind too much. They could go out another night.

It was three days later when, there was a knock at her door. Standing on tippy toes to see who it was she immediately she let them in. She undid the latch to reveal a slightly dishevelled and agitated Jamie. Instinctively she reached out her hand to lead him inside, towards the couch. He was sitting facing her when he finally spoke. 'I've been suspended' he stated. Eyes widening in surprise she reached out and touched his arm. Right on cue the floodgates opened. He ranted and raved, venting emotion. When he was finished she went to the cabinet and offered him wine. He took her up on it.

However what he was saying wasn't nuts. 'I didn't do anything wrong. This guy mugged my grandpa what would you have done? Renzulli wasn't with me, but I did try to grab his attention…' She understood. That man was slightly more focused on where his next meal and date were coming from rather than the law. When you got to the end of your time with your TO, they sort of let you do your own thing. However it was also plausible that Jamie's rationality went out the window when he had the chance to bring to justice the man who hurt his Grandpa. 'So, I chased him myself He ended up holding onto the edge of a building. I wanted so badly to let him fall, but after a moment's hesitation I pulled him up. _And that's what separates you from being an NYPD officer and a relative hell- bent on vigilante justice._

Once she had cleared his mind and told her exactly what he thought of the guy who did that to his grandpa, he started on the Sargent. She listened then. However she knew she had to make him see. So they stayed up all night talking. She tried to help him to look at things from his Sargent's point of view. His intentions were good but how he went about it wasn't this was why he was suspended. His mind had been clouded with emotion, he hadn't been thinking straight. Not that she blamed him. She tried to reason with him 'you didn't act responsibly, you were reckless. You have to show him that while you know what you did was wrong but that you're still a good police officer...' she trailed off.

'I have to apologize 'he finished.

'Or else, you could risk being fired. Then where would the people of this city be?'

He seemed to accept what he had to do and they lapsed into a sleepy silence. It was 4am. Just when she thought he was asleep he spoke up, surprising her. 'Will you come with me to dinner on Sunday? For moral support? I don't know if I can face talking to Dad alone.'

She agreed. On one condition- that he stayed where he was for the night. There was no way he could drive in such a state.

She offered him her bed, but he valiantly refused. Making sure he was alright she left him. She didn't want to prey on him while he was so unsure of himself.

The next day she awoke with sunlight peeping in the window. It was just after 2pm. Jamie was awake and tidying up the living room. He kissed her hello. She got straight to the point. 'Listen, I was thinking we could get something to eat and talk about your family.' He seemed to think that was a good idea. They were both famished while not being in the mood to slave over a hot , it took a bit of convincing for them to order take out rather than going to a restaurant. She didn't want the spell to break. While he had been here his cell phone hadn't beeped once. Also it was more secluded here, less chance of being spotted by the family of law enforcers whom she had yet to meet and having to explain their long put-off introduction.

So, he sat her down. Discussion at the dinner table tomorrow would most likely centre around her and she needed to be prepared; know something about them. Thy chatted about Erin, the single mom; a lawyer. Danny- the detective, the dad. Henry- the war veteran, Dad (Frank) - the P.C. He had nephews, a sister in law too. Then there was his brother Joe. Killed on duty in '09, she wouldn't be meeting him on Sunday. She was fully ware, from the way he spoke about him how much he was missed. It was obvious they were a tight knit unit and she was afraid of intruding.

Unknown to herself she had been biting her lip. Jamie himself seemed apprehensive. He wondered if would she be able to accept their meddling and love them as he did. He hoped so. She needed time to take it all. She shepherded him towards the bathroom, persuading him to have a shower and relax.

They continued talking through the door as the water ran. Then his phone went off. _Crap, she'd spoken too soon_. He called out, asking for her to get it. Taking a deep breath she picked it up like it was a bomb and pressed the green button. 'Officer Reagan's phone.'

Sitting in a bar, Danny checked the number he had just called. It was Jamie's alright. _So why then was a girl answering._ It didn't make a lot of sense. For one thing Jamie was too busy working to have a girlfriend and for another, wouldn't he have told them if he had one? 'Detective Reagan speaking.'

This must be Danny. However she didn't let her guard down just yet. 'I was wondering could I speak to him please.'

'He's not able to come to the phone right now.' _He's preoccupied in the shower _she thought to herself_ For Goodness sake! _Now images of Jamie wearing nothing but a smile penetrated her mind. She blinked, trying to focus once more on Danny's words. She was glad his older brother couldn't see blushing.

'Well, do you know if he had plans for this evening? We were meant to be meeting for a drink but he hasn't shown up.'

'Oh yeah, he did mention something about that last night, but perhaps t slipped his mind. I'll remind him for you.' _There had beena lot on his plate lately._

'Okay'. Danny hung up. He reiterated the conversation to the other Reagan men. They were as shocked as he was. _If that kid showed up he would have quite a bit of explaining to do_.

As soon as they had finished speaking Caoimhe collapsed back on the bed. That had been nerve wrecking to say the last. Should she have mentioned the bit about 'last night'? It wasn't like anything much had happened. But something would happen tomorrow at the dinner table and now she had a sinking feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach. First impressions last a lifetime and it seemed she had just ruined things with Danny. Jamie's older brother whose opinion he regarded higher than he would admit. However, she knew she had to keep her promise. Go to dinner, explain herself and at least try to prove to his family that she was worthy of their son.

As soon as Jamie had hopped out of the shower he headed to the bar. Needless to say he had forgotten about their arrangement from the day before. When entered, Danny leaned back in his chair surveying him with interest. He got straight to the point. 'So when were you planning on telling us about 'this girl?'

'Which one?' Jamie stalled trying to play it cool. Sadly however Danny had always been able to read him well, so he knew he wouldn't be able to hide. Deep down inside he didn't want to anyway. A round was ordered. A friendly start to a good old fashion interrogation- a family affair.

They probed him and probed him; Danny led the proceedings with occasional input from Grandpa. Dad just sat and listened. He told them a lot but it wasn't enough. When they found out that he and Caoimhe had been dating for just over six months they wanted to know why, they hadn't heard about her previously. Danny was direct in his line of questioning. 'Stop bluffing. We knew you are serious enough with this girl to spend the night with her. Now, are you having one night stands with women or are you hiding things from your family? Both are punishable offences.'

Jamie had enough. He was used to asking questions not having to answer them. He hadn't done anything! Now they were belittling his character and that of the girl he had chosen to date. A one night stand. He was better than that. So he snapped. Slamming his tumbler down on the counter he fumed 'Do you know what it's like trying to have a relationship in this family?' His father seemed hurt by this.

'We've always been supportive of you Jamie.'

'Says the one who did background checks on all of Erin's boyfriends and had Nicki, followed just last week to, a party! I don't want to subject her to that. It's a lot to take on…' His voiced faded as he ran out of steam. It seemed as though his message had hit him. Danny bowed his head in shame as their father spoke for everyone present.

'We do that because we care about you.'

'Well, _I _care about her!' he retorted.

After that things calmed down considerably. While Dad, Grandpa and Danny weren't lawyers, it didn't take a genius to figure out that this girl- Caoimhe- meant something to Jamie. They hadn't been told her surname yet- to prevent background checks before tomorrow. Anyone who made him react like that was worth their time. Sunday dinner tomorrow would be interesting to say the least…

They continued talking amicably for a while. Then Jamie drained his glass and rose. He seemed distracted. Maybe it was the prospect of everyone meeting her on Sunday. Or maybe we're just not the people or _person_ he wants to hang out with right about now… Well they would all be sitting around a table tomorrow. Then they would decide for themselves if he was the kind of girl Jamie should be seeing. Not that he would listen to them anyway.

**A/N: Hi, thanks for all the positive feedback. As you guys are probably already aware I don't own Bluebloods**


	4. Impressions

**A/N: Bobwhite Fan, you make a valid point, thank you for making me aware of that. As you probably already know it's an Irish name. The phonetic spelling is QUEE-vah**

**(quee as in QUEEn, vah as in VAn) (Kee-vah is a more Americanized pronunciation). Hope this helps, thanks for reading, **

Taking a deep breath, with Jamie gripping her hand tightly and propelling her forward they moved toward the Church. As they entered she started to feel claustrophobic. She saw them as soon as they were in the door. Jamie waved with his free hand. They wandered over. As cool as cucumbers, or so it seemed. Jamie was enthusiastic and laid back. All his favourite people together, officially. On the other hand, Caoimhe was a bundle of nerves. She _really _liked Jamie but she knew he loved them. It wouldn't be right to ask him to stop hanging out with his family if they didn't hit it off. However she did want to continue spending her Sundays with him as well as Saturday, and the occasional Friday afternoon.

However, looking back she supposed she had underestimated the Reagan's ability to be courteous. Or at least follow orders. Apparently Jamie had warned Danny, his Grandpa and s Dad the night before to be on their best behaviour. While Danny was still a wildcard it was the kids she was worried about. Nicki, Jack and Sean. They were often a good judge of character, better able to see past the facade she would put on if things started going wrong. This morning in the mirror before Jamie had picked her up as she had practiced smiling graciously she had resolved to _try_ and make it work. For Jamie's sake. Her resolve crumpled in the face of such imposing figures. _His Dad was the Police Commissioner_! There was nowhere to run. She had best get it over with.

When they reached them after an eternity they shook hands. There was 'heys' and 'hellos' and 'how do you do?' and 'pleased to meet you' When Danny's turn came he looked her up and down in a split second. Exchanging a glance with Jamie, he decided to be different. He embraced her. His reason for this was 'after all the only person who knows you better than me here is Jamie. I presume you guys do a bit more than hug' he joked. The service passed without incidence. There was a second round of handshakes during the 'Peace is with you' part. After that the ice was broken. She specifically had asked her family to stay away from the church this afternoon. Two families was way too much too handle.

Something strange occurred to Danny as he watched Caoimhe coming back from receiving Communion. There was something about that face… Then it came to him in a flash. He recalled standing in a pew one Sunday about two months ago with Jamie. He broke off his conversation with God to throw at look at his youngest brother, who seemed rather preoccupied. Although not with God. He was gazing over at a girl that strongly resembled Caoimhe. They were having an avid silent conversation. So much so that Jamie hadn't noticed he was being watched. That was until Danny gives him a swift kick on the shin to bring him back to earth. That had earned him an angry glare from Jamie and one of reproach from Linda. She thought they were just two guys horsing around. But it had been more serious than that, as it seemed was their relationship. It now felt strange that they were sharing a pew. Every so often Jamie would shift his gaze towards her silently checking that she was content

After the choir finished the final hymn the group moved to the adjoining cemetery. Where Jamie's mother Mary and his older brother were buried side by side in the Reagan family plot. They paid their respects silently. She placed a bouquet of lilies on Mary's grave. These were the best choice as Jamie had mentioned they were her favourites. The reason behind this was presumably because he was both the kind of guy who bought them for her birthday or Mother's day. Or maybe just spontaneously. Perhaps he was just the kind of man who took the time to know these things about the women he loved. _Either way any of those would be satisfactory. _She left Jo's grave bare. According to Jamie he didn't care for that kind of thing. As they stood there, with the sun shining on them Jamie wondered what they thought of his girlfriend. The gesture meant that she was most likely in their good books. The ones that mattere

As they left Caoimhe winged a silent prayer to God _Please let them like me_. She supposed now that the initial encounter was finished things would get easier. After they _were _Jamie's family. She kind of owed them his existence. They were the last to leave. Pulling away from the curb Jamie turned towards her 'Where are we headed?'

Your Dad's places is about 6 six blocks down this road right?'

'Yeah, but we don't have to go...'

She gave herself a moment before answering. 'The fact that you gave me that option means that we do. So just drive.'

He did so his eyes focusing on the road. She rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. Trusting him to lead them in the right direction.

Two cooks. Three courses. A blessing the occasional toast. Everyone seated around the dining table enjoying each other's company. That was what Jamie described the usual family meal as consisting of. She wondered if she would become one of the 'usual' guests too. She hoped that once things were sorted between father and son, officer and commissioner that she would continue to attend. Things opened on a good note. Adding an extra place at table on such short notice hadn't been a problem and she was seated between Jamie and Sean. Jamie had opted to stay with her rather than cook so as to deflect any awkward questions. Danny and Linda were on kitchen duty. Danny seemed to think he knew enough about her from their brief conversation and didn't need to sit through the initial spiel although he hadn't mentioned it to Jamie of course. He hoped Linda would have a calming effect on his suddenly overprotective and nosy big brother When he returned from the kitchen bearing steaming plates of food the mood changed. The topic of conversation changed from idle things like the weather and that week's Homily to the serious stuff. Family, work, what her life plan entailed.

He had promised Jamie wouldn't run background checks on her before they had been formally introduced. But he hadn't agreed to anything else. When he heard that she had an older sister he perked up his eyes. 'Kit Kat works in D.C. as a bio medical scientist in a research lab.' He wondered why she had left New York. _Was it because she had something to hide? _When questioned though she laughed. 'Oh, she liked NY well enough but she just found someone she liked better. A special guy.'

'So, do you guys just call her Kit Kat or what?'

'It's her favourite candy bar, hence the nickname' He had to hand it to her the girl was smart. She picked up on the reason for his questions.

'Listen, could you wait a couple of weeks to do a background check? It's just that she's changing her surname soon. To Micheals. She and David are getting married. You can even do one on him before the Big Day if you want to be on the safe side. All of _our _documents are up to date. We have Irish passports but no Green card issues.

He then discovered that Jamie hadn't met with Caoimhe's parents yet. She was a bit indignant at his looking deep into this. _I mean she's my older sister. Her opinion means a lot to me. They had arranged to get together up next week when she came into town to go dress shopping._ Caoimhe was a bridesmaid._ She was getting married in New York. _After she had explained this to Danny he let it drop and someone else started asking questions.

It seemed Jack was intrigued at his Dad and Caoimhe having spoken previously while Jamie was staying at her place. Jamie reassured her it was because he wasn't allowed on 'sleepovers'. Still, it made her a tad more uncomfortable than she was willing to disclose. She wasn't used to talking with kids. Her youngest brother was just under 3 years younger than her. Unlike the ten or so years between Jamie and Danny. He wanted to know _why_ he had stayed over. So she told him about the glass of wine and not wanting to risk a DUI. It was feeble but he seemed to except it. For now. They changed the subject while her little brother was rather wild, he did like to play video games. He worked in games design. That distracted him. She didn't want to talk about the whole Grandpa being mugged thing. Henry Reagan was a proud and strong man. She didn't think it was the best idea to bring up how upset Jamie had been and how he had put his job on the line to catch the thug who did it. Sean had brought it up. How it was 'cool' that Uncle Jamie had apprehended the guy who had hurt Grandpa. She joined in with everyone in agreeing. However Frank remained voiced his opinion. Basically saying that he didn't agree with the circumstances under which it had been carried out. There was a pregnant pause.

Then Erin changed the subject. It seemed she knew just when to put a stop to things before they got too heated. That was one of the things which made her a renowned lawyer. They talked about work. She admitted she was glad to have someone who didn't think like a cop at the table. Nicki seemed to have an interest in what she did. Jack didn't know if was all that great though.

'Do you still get to stand up in court and yell 'Your Honour I object?' She told him that, yes, they did. However it often didn't come to that. If you had prepared well enough and knew your case inside out then, the likelihood is that you will win. As she had done. She looked directly at Danny during here next sentence. 'You know sometimes, other lawyers underestimate; small, cute. They don't do it a second time, if I can help it.' With his question answered there was peace for a while as they tucked into Danny's strawberry cheesecake. Her favourite. She saw Jamie's eyes twinkle as he watched her tuck in. Perhaps he had something to do with the menu. He had learned that she had a serious sweet tooth. _If you can get to a girl's heart through her stomach why not a girls? _He had noted the 'Kit Kat' thing and would use it to his advantage when they were introduced.

When the last plate was clean Jamie offered to clear their plates. With being asked she simultaneously. It was the least she could do, after all that had been yummy. Anyway she had a feeling she knew what was coming around the corner.

Sure enough as they opened the dishwasher Jamie opened his mouth to speak. However he was cut off by his father. Having followed them in, he asked 'Jamie, can I talk to you please?'

Jamie made a point of looking his dad before uttering the words 'anything you want to say in front of me you can say in front of Caoimhe.' It was clear he wanted her to stay where she was. After all, this was the reason she had come. For moral support. Frank seemed to accept this before moving on. 'Jamie, your behaviour this week was unacceptable, you acted rashly and I was highly disappointed, both as the police commissioner and a father.'

'I'm suspended for 3 days.A-'

His dad cut him off 'well, I would've given you at least a week. You need to learn your lesson. You took a leaf out of Danny's book and you shouldn't have.'

Feeling she had to intervene just as Erin had done earlier Caoimhe, keeping her voice steady asked that he be let speak.

Noting that she had a valid point he apologized and let Jamie continue 'And when I return I will apologize to the Sargent. Not for what happened but _how _it came about.'

Frank was a bit shocked to say the least. Jamie although he was a fair cop and knew when he was wrong, the part of him that was a lawyer meant he didn't like to relent and let someone else win an argument. Frank stopped. Perhaps he had judged the situation a little too quickly. Maybe it wasn't Danny's book Jamie was taking a leaf out of but Caoimhe's. She seemed to be a rational girl who wanted to help Jamie. The kind of girl he should be with. Pondering her involvement in the aftermath of the mugging he patted Jamie on the back on the way out. Nodding to Caoimhe. It was evident they had reached a new understanding. They had similar goal; to look out for Jamie He returned to the dinner table, leaving them alone.

The chatter in the other room had resumed. When Jamie planted a kiss on her forehead and mouthed 'Thank You'. For what? _She hadn't done anything. After all, he had finished her sentence. _He had turned and was about to lead the way back inside when she spun him to face her, kissing him fully despite the fact his family were in the next room. 'Listen...' she started. 'Will you be my date to the wedding?'

He was looking at her in a confused way. 'Um, I thought that was a given…' _It was_. Only, the thing was they had decided to turn Kathy's wedding into a kind of Fitzpatrick/Lynch/Micheals gathering. Everyone was going to be there. Aunts, uncles, cousins from Ireland, Australia and the US. It was going to be huge. And with that came great expectations and pressure. Not that she was worried that Jamie would embarrass her, more the other way around. He said yes, straight away. 'I'll even dance with all of your 'crazy' aunties. It'll be fun I promise.' _Just as long as you dance with me too _she thought.

She was sure it would be, now that he was going. Actually today had been fun. Jamie took the time to apologize for his brother's over the top antics. However there was no need. The Irish had a word for what Danny was doing. Banter. All families did it, laughing, teasing, and joking. His was no different. They were just another normal family on a normal Sunday. The way they had acted wasn't totally normal but that was to be expected, who wouldn't use their connections to keep their baby brother safe? Although Danny didn't seem like the kind of guy who would admit to that. But she was sure it would pass, if given the chance.

It seemed the couple had been the most recent subject being discussed at the table and as they sat down Caoimhe couldn't help but feel her ears burning. _Oh God, I hope it's not visible_. Henry seemed honest. He mentioned casually 'we were just talking about you too.' He paused for effect. 'We were wondering if you were at home in a kitchen.'

'Er.' She mumbled.

'Yeah, she's a pretty good cook' Jamie piped up. _He was a lifesaver. _She made a mental note to thank him as soon as possible.

'Well, is that what I think it is?' An invite to dinner next week?'

Henry chuckled before nodding. 'Sure, is as long as you don't mind being on kitchen duty the With Jamie of course.'

She beamed. She was up for it. As long as he was able to come over to dinner some night the next week so she could practice.

**A/N: Hi, please let me know did I go overboard with the religion/Irishness? If so I didn't mean to, I just want this to be an authentic story in keeping with the TV show. If you think so let me know and I will stop! You're my loyal readers and your opinion matters to me. Keep up the reviews; they're making me right faster. **


	5. Too Much

Another Sunday in the Reagan household. However, she still wasn't quite used to her new schedule yet. Poor Jamie had been working double shifts this last week. He hardly kept his eyes open as they sat at the kitchen table. Painstakingly peeling potatoes, they were cooking together. The silence was occasionally broken by the gentle hiss of bubbling water. When this happened she would glance over at him. When she did, what sprang to mind was the first time they had ever done this, hung out in a kitchen, preparing dinner. Then she would have to stifle a giggle. Classic mashed potatoes and braised beef. The reason behind the choice was because beef was supposed to be 'rare'. That was just considered to be French. That had been the night she knew he was the one for her. She cooked food which he ate. She was a terrible cook, who shouldn't really be let loose anywhere near a stove. He wasn't a liar- he just tried hard to please, not everyone just her, or so he said. Gagging on her food, they had abandoned the dish and settled on good old fashioned beans on toast.

She had improved over time though, with his patient tutorage. He had lived in Boston during college, and then his mom had passed away. He fended for himself rather well, in more ways than one it seemed. He fended for her too. Danny also took it upon himself to fend for him, especially in the relationship department. After the first meeting, only last week she and Jamie had discussed this.

'You know, it's not his fault he's like this…' She supposed it wasn't but that didn't stop it from getting annoying. Danny was like a broken record. Repeating himself to anyone who would listen. Thankfully however, after meeting and getting to know her properly the family it seemed were growing increasingly intolerant of his weariness in relation to Jamie and herself.

'He was the eldest so he never had anyone questioned his relationships. Then he went easy on Erin's first really serious boyfriend- Jack Boyle. Then he screwed up. Danny never forgave himself. Joe never had a serious girlfriend. So Danny thought he didn't need to do at least part of his job. He thinks that because he stopped looking out for Joe as much, he died. '

'So, he's not going to stop looking out for you?' He nodded. She was getting it now. _Why am I such a self- centred idiot? God why did I judge him so soon? _When she voiced this worry Jamie snapped into action, responding instantly.

He cupped her face in his and told her she didn't need to be constantly on the defence- to fight for everything. He would do it for her; she would do it for him. That was how a relationship worked. He had obviously been in a few more than she had. Never any that worked out though. She wanted it to work with him, more than she would admit to him, even at this stage. But not more than she was willing to admit to his older brother, if that's what it took for him to accept what was happening. She had to set things straight with Danny.

The Shepherd's pie went down a hit. The boys loved it because there weren't too many vegetables present. They sat down and the conversation swivelled to her once more. As it probably would continue to until poor Nicki was old enough to be bringing a serious boyfriend to dinner. Rather than herself this time they conversation was shaped around her family. Her mom, dad and brother were whom she saw most often. They lived in a nice apartment in Brooklyn. They had a dog. Her mom was a retired nurse, her dad a prison officer. Naturally this sparked interest and led to common ground. She spoke fondly of days as a child. Her mom had bandaged their arms when they played 'hospitals'. She saw them every week, mostly on Saturday evenings. That was when they hung out, skyped relatives. The last time she saw them she had brought up Jamie. Obviously she had dropped the word 'boyfriend' casually into the conversation a couple of times. To ease them into the idea. She didn't want a repeat of what had happened to Jamie. Not managing to break the news to his family, without them finding out first. Catastrophe had been narrowly avoided there. Despite the lingering suspicion, things were going in the right direction. She had won Frank and Henry over and she hoped to do the same with Danny.

That is why, when conversation had died out she wandered out into the garden for privacy. Jamie was to convince Danny to step outside for a second, even offering to dry the cutlery on his behalf, if that's what it took. Danny stood, watching her survey the distant Manhattan skyline, visible through the dense foliage of tree in the corner of the yard, between whose roots she sat. She adored New York but there was something about having a garden that she missed Covering his eyes against the sun he made an attempt to engage her in conversation.

However, wanting to get it over with she rushed in first. Not looking at him, she blurted out 'I won't do it'

'Do what?' he wondered, with no idea where this was going. He hated being in the dark. Was something going on?

A burst of courage came from somewhere deep inside her. She turned to face him, motioning that he sit down. After brief consideration he took her up the suggestion, frowning as he did so.

'I won't screw him around.' _What was she talking about? _

A blush was creeping into her cheeks. Danny himself was starting to feel a little hot under the collar to say the least. He didn't like where it seemed this conversation was heading. 'What I mean to say is, I like him too much. I won't hurt him because if I was doing that… I w- I would be hurting myself. I don't mean him any harm.

'I know, but what if you just can't help it?'

Now she was confused.

'What if you decide this isn't the life for you. I want you to decide now, but what if you don't and instead walk away years from now. When he's no longer a beat cop and it's not just the two of you. When you realize you can't let yourself love him with the shadow of his possible death hanging over you. I don't want to have to pick up the pieces then.'

As he pondered this a bewildered Caoimhe was motionless. Letting the gravity of the conversation wash over her. _What did he want from her? What did Jamie even want from her?_

Eventually the numerous thoughts floating around in her head became too much. She exploded like a volcano. 'Do you know what it's like? I bet you worry about losing Linda when the pressure is too much. To be honest, I wouldn't worry about that if I were you. I'm anxious over whether I'll lose him. Every day. I don't wonder if I'll abandon him and hurt him. But whether I'll lose him forever anyway. Whether I have a choice or not.'

It was at that moment that Danny Reagan realized what he wanted. She made him happy. He wanted him to be that way. To have lived and loved. Jamie had lost too much already. Losing Caoimhe would crush him, _and I don't want to have to pick up the pieces. _

'He might not fall to his knees because of you, but something will happen. Eventually. Then he will need your help. Be ready.'

With that he rose and headed inside as quickly as he had come.

She stayed where she was, giving herself a moment. She was then joined by Jamie. Danny had told him some of what went on, but not all. He didn't need to aware of it all. She flopped down beside over time as they spoke she crept into his lap, shielded from the wet grass.

'He mentioned, that you know if you need to- you could... talk to Linda _When being part of this family gets too much_ she supposed.. Apparently that was what Erin did. Like her Linda had a choice in entering the Reagan household. She was even more involved than Caoimhe actually. _She bore the name. _Danny had also it seemed, offered that Jamie could talk to him about her if she needed to. Two brothers in serious relationships. Bounding. They hadn't chosen to be brothers however they had chosen to enter into relationships. At least they hadn't been too scarred from their childhood to do so. She supposed herself and Linda was considered to be voluntary members of the police force. Kind of. Unlike Danny and Jamie they hadn't been forced into it by their name. An outsider might say that they didn't have to become cops. Didn't have to lead the life they did. However that was from the truth. Take Jamie. He, seeing what joining the police for had done to his brother, he had opted to as Danny put it 'play it safe' by becoming a lawyer. What had happened to his brother also meant he was bound by a sense of duty, a desire to prove himself.

That was one of the reasons he had become a cop. He wanted to help people, in the beginning he had thought he could do that by being a lawyer; however life hadn't worked out as planned. _Did it ever? _Eventually the see of responsibility had weighed too heavily on his shoulders. So he had borne the badge in the hopes of easing it. However this had only added to the worry of his family. Escalated their desire to keep him safe. To do the impossible.She on the other hand, had always thought she would be proving herself to the guys she dated, not their families. It was said that you should keep your work and pleasure separate. You couldn't do that though. If someone meant anything to you they were involved in all aspects of your life. A relationship consists of many elements. Not just one. It involved each other exactly as they were. She knew now she didn't want only the part of Jamie that was a level- headed lawyer. She wanted the police officer, willing to put everything on the line for those he both loved and hated. Officers had no choice as to who they protected while on the job, but they did otherwise. Jamie had chosen her and the others would just have to learn to accept that.

After a while, Jamie helped her to her feet and they moved inside. This time she felt more at home. Just because she was here by choice didn't mean that she wasn't meant to be or didn't belong. She had been wrong I thinking she could prove that she belonged here to Danny or even Jamie, in one day. It would happen over time. When they needed her she would be there. Whether they wanted her to be or not. She would stand by her promise, for sure and they would thank her for it.

The only thing she couldn't be sure of was when it would be time for her to do so. That time would come sooner than anyone expected. At that time, it wouldn't be just Jamie who needed her…


	6. The Waiting Game

**A/N: Sorry for the delay in updating. This chapter took longer to research and piece together. It's an important one so I took the time necessary. **

It was lunchtime on Saturday November 8th 2012. Having worked from home all morning Caoimhe's stomach was growling. She shut down the lap top and decided to get something to eat. As she set about cutting a loaf of bread, her phone rang. _Jamie._ She knew as soon as she saw the caller I.D. This time when h called she didn't expect what was coming. Nor did anyone, looking back. She paused to pick up the phone. 'Hey' he mumbled. Something was wrong. She knew when she heard how his throat tightened. He couldn't get the words out. _Wasn't he meant to be on duty today?_

'Can you meet me?' Direct, she liked that about him.

.

'Okay'. She paused thoughtfully. He never rang while on duty. 'Where are you?' Under normal circumstances she would have asked more but now didn't seem the time to do so.

'Um, in a waiting room at St. Victor's…' The knot in her throat loosened considerably. _At least he wasn't in the OR. With someone else calling on his behalf. _

'What happened?' she gasped. _Was Linda okay?_

'When he voiced this query he was honest. 'Not really, it's not what you think, it's Sean…'

He hadn't asked her to come but she knew he wanted her there. A serious bike accident. Some lunatic crashed right into him. It seemed his helmet hadn't been securely fastened. He was now lying in a hospital bed. His brain having haemorrhaged in the aftermath of the accident. Danny was pacing the room, making up for his son's lack of movement. He kept asking if his son was going to be okay, if the damage would be permanent. No one knew. Not even the doctors. They said they had to wait it out for a little while longer before deciding on a treatment plan. Doing anything invasive so soon might lead to further damage. So for the moment Sean remained comatose.

Linda stood by the window watching other nurses help her son. Wishing it was her in there. Jack and Nicki were playing 'I-spy'. Henry had headed to the hospital chapel, to bargain with God for his great-grandson's life. She had remained with Jamie, talking quietly. The chair beside them creaked as Danny sat down. His head in his hands. When he eventually glanced up he seemed shocked to see her face. Her hazel eyes stared into his red rimmed grey ones. _Why was she here? There was nothing she could do._ He looked exhausted.Seeming to sense the question before it was off his lips she replied. 'No need to look at me like that- you can't do anything either. Refusing to stay where she was, and be interrogated about her reasons for being present, she rose with the intention of getting some water.

As he watched her walk away something occurred to him. He got up, with more urgency than was probably necessary and followed her to the water fountain. Tapping her lightly on the shoulder didn't have the desired effect. She jumped out of her skin, attracting a concerned glance from Jamie. She spun around as fast as possible, soon coming to the realisation that it was only Danny. He seemed startled. 'Is something wrong?' she asked._ Shouldn't I be asking you the same question? The way she jumped, you'd think he had poked her with a Taser!_ Seeing that she was fine, he gathered his thoughts. 'Jamie mentioned you had something called cp… She turned away for a second smoothing a crease in her jeans before turning to face him. 'Did, he now? She murmured. Well yeah, cerebral palsy.' When this got her nothing but a bewildered glance she stated for clarity. 'Brain damage.'

_Oh no! _She had forgotten the situation they were in. The shadow hanging over them, which had most likely been the reason for them having this conversation. The look of confusion had now been replaced by one of glazed terror. That had been the wrong thing to say. Not trusting her mouth she reached out her hand. He took it. She led him back to the chairs. 'I didn't suffer a haemorrhage although I know people who did. Rather than bleeding, I suffered from inadequate blood flow, probably during childbirth.' Danny didn't know what to think. Caoimhe sucked in her breath as she stood up, to get fresh air. 'Those people live perfectly happy lives Danny, despite what happened to them'. That was all she could say. Jamie followed her.

They stood for a while in the silence. The evening air was chilly and she had left her cardigan inside. Sensing that she couldn't face going back inside for it Jamie wrapped his arms around her waist. With him she was warm and safe. That was all it took, for the first time that day she cried. Tears leaked from her soon red-rimmed eyes, down her cheeks. Every so often Jamie would gently and discreetly wipe them away with his thumb. He rocked her back and forth as she tried to regain her composure. _She was a blubbering mess_. _What must he think of her?_ When she was ready he handed her a tissue. Blowing her she took a deep, shuddering breath and it all came tumbling out. When she had finished she buried her face in his chest. _She was such a terrible person._ With effort, she managed to eventually prise herself away from him.

'All, I want right now is to be held but I can't. _Not until I finish what I started. _

Without prompting he took her hand and with her leaning heavily on his arm, they started slowly inside.

When they returned they found Linda and Danny at Sean's beside. Jack was curled in the corner, fast asleep. Erin and Nicki had gone home for the night. Frank was due to be arriving any moment. Danny didn't seem willing to leave his family but when he saw the pleading look in Caoimhe's eyes he did as they asked. Caoimhe started 'Listen, about earlier, I wasn't being totally honest…'

The people I know are content because they haven't known anything different. They couldn't change what happened to them.'

'The thing about haemorrhages is that when they occur, permanent cognitive damage often occurs along with damage to the area that controls motor function.' Having thought she used clear, concise language when she saw Danny's eyebrow bunched together it became obvious she hadn't been clear enough.

'You know their mind as well as their body. Problems with memory, learning difficulties along with problems carrying out complex thought processes- mental retardation This one girl I knew as a kid is still a kid even though she would be 23 now.. 'He got the message. His eyes became as wide as dinner plates, his mouth gaped, and he gazed past her into the future. A future they didn't even know if Sean would live to see, let alone be _there_ enough to appreciate. She tried to speak, tell him some spiel about how medical care had improved rapidly in the last few decades. But she couldn't bring herself to do it. She had done enough already.

He made it through the night. The doctors said they would know more after 24 hours. Sean didn't need breakfast so they were going to do the CT as early as possible. Hopefully that would give them a better idea of what the future held. For Sean, for all the Reagans and even Caoimhe.

**A/N: Hopefully it lives up to expectations, please let me know what you think! (Good and bad.) **

**P.S: I happen to not be a doctor, just a writer, so while I still want there to be **_**some **_**medical stuff I want to really focus on the effect of this on the family..**


	7. Nothing to be done

They looked at the scans. His cranium had expanded. Due to his intracranial pressure was on the rise. After their talk Caoimhe and Danny's relationship was stronger. At least they were being truthful to one another.

Jamie had left that morning. He was on duty again. Having promised earlier that he would be back in time for lunch, he was now late. Doubt crept into her mind. _Was he OK? _However she didn't burden the others with her most likely unnecessary obsessive, constant paranoia, which Caoimhe was fast learning was just another part of being a cop's girlfriend. They had better things to be worrying about.

She flopped down beside Danny and Linda at his bedside. They sat in comfortable silence for a while, saying temporary unspoken farewells and praying. The tranquillity of this was soon interrupted as the room filled with medical staff. They were taking him to the OR, to drill a hole in his brain. That way they would be able to insert a catheter, to monitor the pressure and reduce it by draining the fluid if necessary.

Sitting in the corner thinking about everything that had happened in the last few days. She was startled out of her reverie by Jamie. Looking windswept with a slight gleam in his eyes. As soon as he had greeted her with a kiss he went to talk with Danny. He had a lead on his latest case. An address which needed following up. He had been late, because it took a while to find. It wasn't sensible for Danny to remain much longer. He would drive himself insane. Doing nothing made him angry. Being angry made him dangerous. This danger meant that all the soda machines on the 12th floor currently feared for their lives. Both she and Erin had agreed to approach him about his behaviour. When the words of his sister didn't seem to do any good, growing sick and tired of it she had informed him. 'You know, Sean would be shocked at what you're doing. 'He simply gazed at her wearily.

She went on 'you guys don't let them have soda too often right? Not least one from a vending machine- so expensive. We're asking you to stop. Sean would stop.'

He didn't seem too convinced. So she continued. 'If you said he couldn't have soda then he wouldn't have. He listens to you guys. That's because he knows you only want what's best for him.'

So they had put a stop to it. One person who certainly didn't need sugar was Jack. He was up the walls, confused and worried about his little brother. However he tried not to show it. Putting on a brave face ad supporting his parents. They tried their best to look after him but it was difficult in such a medical environment. They didn't want anything to happen to him so he slept on a roll out bed in Sean's room. It had already been agreed that he wouldn't go to school on Monday. There would be too many questions to which he didn't know the answers. Jamie had acted though. _He walks as good as I talk, which means we're a good team_ she mused. Although it would break his heart, Danny would leave to go work on the case, _helping people to whom he can make a difference. _

The day was fairly quiet. She had brought her laptop and tried to work, giving up after five minutes. She gave it Nicki, who started playing solitaire. The haemorrhaging had stopped. They kept draining the build-up of fluid. Eventually that would stop and they'd have a clearer picture. The damage was already said to be extensive. But then again, it would seem that way. Without Sean awake to actually tell them how he felt. His haemorrhage was considered to be a grade 4. On a scale of 1-4. That meant the damage was more likely to be permanent, apparently.

It was a long night. Jamie being a cop on the beat had more regular hours. Caoimhe was glad he was there._ I'd feel rather out of place without him_. He was Sean's Godfather. She wondered what it was like, to feel the pain of watching your youngest son hover so close to the brink of life. For a reason you can't control. Bike accidents could happen to anyone, but one had happened to Sean. Now they just had to do the best they could with the hand they were dealt. Sometimes she questioned whether bringing children into a world where they good be so easily damaged was a bright idea. _Although wasn't it better to have cared for someone from the moment they entered the world and mourned their leaving of it- eventually. Having at least a few wonderful years in between? To know that you loved someone so much that they took a piece of your heart with them, leaving a sense of deep melancholy where it once was? Thank goodness it wasn't something they to think about yet. _She shook her head, reminding herself what the others were going through. Now wasn't the time to think of her. Trying to focus on concrete goings on, something occurred to her. 'Jamie?' she called softly.

'What is it?' he wondered, pulling himself away from the lull of dreamland. He had been trying not to fall, asleep. Slumber was among the male population anyway, considered to be a sign of weakness. But even she had to admit, sitting around doing nothing but worry was more tiring than you would first think.

'The guy… the one that crashed into Sean. _The one that cycled away as fast as he could, as soon as he saw he was hurt. _ What'll happen to him?

'There are hundreds of cyclists in this city. Since no one came forward. I suppose nothing. I mean we would love to charge him or something but I don't think we can. _Just another thing on the growing list of things we cannot do_ she thought bitterly. Sometimes she wondered about the justice system.

Danny arrived at around 3 am. They had caught the guy, an environmental extremest. Thanks to Jamie's help. There was no time for celebration however. As soon as he entered the stretch of corridor outside Sean's room he picked up on the grim mood. Thankfully Sean's doctor was on call that night. She came, sat Danny down and verbalized the thing which they had all been thinking. The thought, came out into the greying light of day. Where despite the watchful eyes of the doctors, it took on a living form. Pacing the room with Danny, shadowing him as he got up and paced the corridor. Slowly processing what Dr. Henderson was gently trying to get across to him. Then when the news broke like a wave of despair it engulfed him. Heart pounding palms sweating, he tried to yell, run. Do something. But he couldn't. There was nothing that could be done.

She was numb. Permanent damage. The true extent of which would remain unknown until he woke up. _If that happened._ Thankfully no matter, how easy it now seemed she knew they couldn't do that. Hearing nothing in her ears but ringing, she ignored the calls of Jamie wondering where she was off to. She was concerned with one thing and one thing only at present. What the doctor had said.

She returned after 4 hours. Jamie who was sitting his eyes hollow. When he saw her his eyes lit up and he rose stiffly to embrace her. _It was good to be back. _The perfect gentleman, he took the heavy satchel she was carrying from her and helped her sort through the contents. Amazed at what she had brought. 'I wouldn't have thought of these, but I bet Jack and Sean will be glad you did.' She smiled modestly. _Heck, she'd do all she could to help. _Before she could get too comfortable with Jamie she roused herself and headed to Sean's room, pausing in the doorway. Danny was really trying. Leaning forward he was holding Sean's hand and making small talked about the weather. When her clumsiness alerted them to her presence, his face reddened with the embarrassment that he had more than one listener. He broke off the one sided conversation, but she took a step back into the shadows. Silently urging him to continue. However it seemed he had run out of steam. So he just mumbled 'yeah, so that's what it's like tonight, sorry for the crappy description. But I was kinda hoping it'd make you wanna open your eyes and see for yourself…' he trailed off, obviously desperate. She moved in to interject. Sean didn't need to hear his dad getting so upset.

Sensing this Danny said 'Brightly look who's here.' Realizing how stupid he sounded given the situation he quickly added 'it's Caoimhe.' She chuckled. _It was surprising the totally unfunny things they would laugh about, given a hopeless situation._

'Just wanted to say hi and give you my i-pod. I've downloaded some music I think you might like and some audio books too. If you don't like it then just let me know- I won't be offended. You can just take the earphones, out turn it off, or if you can't just say and we'll do it for you' she joked. However her eyes were serious behind the smile which Sean couldn't see. Bringing gifts always went down a treat. With a glance from Danny she decided it was okay. So she went inside and gently placed them in his ears, not too loud.

Danny nodded, giving his grudging approval. It was an innovative idea. The doctors could talk without being worried that he would over hear something negative. He would still be stimulated though. Just by stories about secret agents and not scary predictions about what the future might hold.

'I never thought I'd see him ignoring me with buds in his ears for another few years,' he whispered. Thinking of Nicki. He needed to be left alone, so to speak, with his thoughts. So she did her best to exit discreetly giving Jamie a thumbs up. _It had worked. _She had done something positive without stepping on the toes of the elephant in the room, so the saying went. _What if now was Danny's only chance to see him like that? What if he didn't survive into adolescence? _

All they could do was waiting until morning. Jack seemed grateful for the books she had brought him to read. The hospital's supply was fairly limited. They kept his mind occupied during the seemingly endless hours in the hospital. Sadly, Caoimhe herself couldn't be distracted as easily. As they sat waiting for news, her hand in Jamie's she couldn't stop herself from wondering. Wondering about what was going to happen, but also why it had such a huge effect. _It's probably I and Jamie had grown so close, even in just the recent weeks. _She cared about him more than she would even admit to him. _In case the intensity of my emotion scares him off. _She didn't want _anyone _belonging to him hurt. She supposed it was also because she remembered what it was like to be a damaged young child, with no control over what was happening. _What I mean is, Sean and I are alike. I mean if he could change things then he'd be up and about; back to his old self again._

_At least he has his family, whatever happens._

Seeming to understand what she was thinking Jamie murmured 'I know it's a lot to ask- all of this…'

In answer to his unspoken question Caoimhe snuggled closer to him, settled in for another day of waiting. _She wasn't going anywhere- not while Jamie and all the Reagan's needed her._

**A/N: While nothing really happened during this chapter, I still felt it was necessary. But if you didn't love to hear from you! Reviews appreciated.**


	8. Life goes on

**A/N: This is a nice light chapter, which I felt was important given the tension of the last couple of ones. Just to note: Eoin is pronounced Owen (it's one of the Irish versions). **

She snapped awake and it took her eyes a moment to adjust. _There was something about today… _Then it came to her. They had talked it over last night. She had of course, said he didn't have to. That didn't change the fact that she wanted him to be there though. He would come; he was that kind of guy. The one who never broke a promise.

She got up and padded towards the bathroom. Planning on rubbing the sleep from her eyes and splashing her face with water. Looking herself up and down in the mirror she gasped. Recoiling almost in shock. _I look hideous! _Teasingly Jamie had packed her off early the night before, suggesting that she get some 'beauty' sleep before the wedding. He however had refused the offer of coming with her, wanting to stay with Sean. Her reply to that had been, that he was gorgeous enough already.

_It was all becoming far too normal. Like things had gone back to the way they were overnight. _The day before, Jack had gone back to school- now they had some news. Even if it wasn't positive. Danny was back an on case, which was the best way for him to be. _But they weren't_ Poor Linda was stuck on the opposite side of the nurse's station.They were trying, _really trying,_ to get things back to normal. They had no idea if things would go on like this for weeks, maybe months. So, the conclusion drawn after consultation with everyone was that they should go to the wedding. After all what good would they do just sitting there?

She looked a different girl stepping out of the cab outside St. Victors. She was picking Jamie up and be heading on. As she headed up in the elevator she forced herself to think of her sister's impending marital bliss. _I bet she's glad I'm such a control freak now!_ The nervous giggle that this thought provoked attracted a bemused glance from the haggard man she was currently sharing the enclosed space with. _She did look rather out of place_. Her tendency to strive for perfection meant that everything had been done months in advance. That meant everything was still on track. Even after everything that had happened. In a floor length coral pink gown, strappy silver sandals and her hair tied back in a loose bun with the escaping strands framing her face.

She stepped outside and she and the guy went their separate ways. Not that she noticed. Jamie had caught her eye. Moving swiftly towards her, they kissed. He swept her up in his arms, spinning her around. Before she had the chance to take another step towards Sean's room._ She was beautiful_ and he made sure she knew it. However when she recovered herself, she asked 'How is he?' Jamie just shrugged the same, he didn't look any different. _She didn't really need to see him, did she?_ It appeared however that she thought she did. It touched something to see her maternal instincts shining through. It made him forget their circumstances long enough so that she could get her way. Though he wouldn't admit to anyone, already she had her wrapped around her little finger. _Despite the fact, we're not even married yet!_ This thought snapped his attention back to the present. _The Wedding! _Normally he would be more than willing to please her in whatever way he could. However thinking of her caring for Sean made him think of Caoimhe's mother. _He certainly didn't want to get on the wrong side of her by making them late for the ceremony._ He leaned back against the wall, waiting.

She had something she needed to do. Something that even Jamie's most pleading expression couldn't drag him away from. _He'll thank me later, if this works_ she thought as she nipped inside, kissing him softly on the cheek before closing the door behind her, promising not to be more than a minute. 'Hey, Sean she murmured. We're headed to my big sister's wedding now. I just wanted to pop in before we left. Crouching down until she was level with him she continued dropped her voice to a whisper. 'Listen, I've been thinking and I know its scary being in limbo- not sure whether or not you want to regain consciousness or whether you even can.' She went on 'even though afterwards your body might act differently and you might not feel yourself… But you will be. Everyone will love you just the same amount as before, no matter what you can or can't do. Just remember that and try your best to come back.' She rose slowly, taking deep breaths and trying not to make her mascara run by crying. She couldn't be sad today.

Jamie opened the door for her. With his hand in her she felt stronger. Ready to face the day. Despite the fact that he wouldn't _be_ there, if things weren't as they were Danny still felt the need to have an input. Like this was the night of prom or something. 'So, when can we expect you two lovebirds to be back?' Unable to resist the urge Caoimhe quipped 'In time for Sunday dinner, I suppose.' They found that humorous, although there was something ominous about it. They meant back here at the hospital. That was where they were going to be having dinner. With Sean. Having missed the weekly get together last week she had suggested to the others that they give it a go, here. She and Linda had checked with the staff; they were more than happy to allow it due to the stability of Sean's condition.

Jamie had met Margaret and Eoin, briefly a few weeks before. He had picked her up from a dinner- wedding planning session. Caoimhe hadn't seemed too keen on him getting to know her parents just yet. Almost as soon as they had shaken hands she had whisked him away, not wanting to be late for the film. On the ride there she had told him why. Apparently her mother was a tad crazy, liable to say anything. The tension of their first meeting was heightened due to the fact that Katherine was getting married. Having thoroughly vetted David her mom was sure to want to live the bride and groom alone. Long enough to grill him. Jamie had been rather suspicious. After further probing, she had come clean. He was her 5th boyfriend, and the only one she was old enough to be serious about. All through law school she swore not to date guys, too distracting apparently.

Her mom never thought she would ever get far in the romance department. Dropping his name into the conversation hadn't worked as well; it was still a huge shock. They were met at the door of her family home by her mother. She hugged Jamie. After what felt like hours they broke apart. Her mom had tears streaming down her face. _Oh Brother, it was only 9am! If she was an emotional wreck already, what was she going to be like during the ceremony? Or the speeches? _She seemed to regain some composure when she saw her husband poke his head through the door. He didn't want to crowd them. She was good enough at that already, anyways he was shy. 'Jamie, you remember my Dad' said Caoimhe, breaking the awkward silence. They exchanged firm handshakes, without breaking each other's gaze. After that everything blurred together. There was a last minute beauty treatments, de-stressing exercises, self- confidence boosters. They then toasted champagne, it being almost midday they set off for the ceremony.

She steered Jamie towards some of the pews at the front. He would have a good view from there. As they strolled up the aisle, heads turned to stare. It made her smile. _We're not the ones getting married! _Some of her aunties were exchanging glances, and whispers followed them. To avoid more tense encounters, she sat him down next to her cousin Daniel from Ireland, making quick introductions. He was a decent kind of guy; he knew what families could be like. Having experienced much of it himself, he wouldn't badger Jamie He hardly had time to glance around the church before the opening chords of the wedding march were played. Everything went off without a hitch, and they were married. She was a truly great maid of honour- _just about stealing the show from the bride_. Afterwards before the pictures he went to congratulate the couple. He had met David and Katherine separately for a drink before the wedding. When he saw David they exchanged handshakes 'Oh, I remember being in your position just two years ago- at Kathy's cousin's wedding.'

Coming up behind Caoimhe spotted him and made a bee-line straight for him. When she heard what David was saying she chimed in 'Tell him to run now.' Jamie couldn't help but laugh. He didn't have intentions of going anywhere. She managed to convince him to have his picture taken. _He's part of my life and I want him to be seen as that._ At the reception after asking permission from Katherine he stole her away. They faced her extended family together. Their delight at her being in a relationship was added to when they found out he was Irish- which they took to mean he came from a good family.They spent most of the evening dancing, talking and enjoying each other's company, unnoticed by her family. They were busy with the newlyweds. Jamie was known for not being a fan of the dance floor. However after a while he loosened up and they enjoyed themselves immensely. She felt strangely free. The events of the last couple of weeks pushed to the back of her mind.

They got about an hour's rest before it was time to get up for breakfast. They said their goodbyes over orange juice and beagles Kathy and David were catching a flight to Canada late that afternoon. The two have them had picked there for their honeymoon, both loving the cold and wanting to ski. Caoimhe's hope ebbed slightly as she watched them go. _There they go, entering a new phase as a married couple. _ As a young child she had hated that her sister was older; getting new clothes and being able to do things first. However now she was glad of it. _She's able to test the waters, before the time came for me to jump. _ Before they knew it was after one o' clock and time for them to head for the Reagan's for dinner. Hugging and kissing the family, she promised to meet with them again before they left New York.

As they entered the hospital again, Caoimhe felt the mood dampening .Realizing that it would be difficult to bring home cooked food in with everyone being so busy visiting Sean, they choose to get some food from the cafeteria. Apparently the chaplain had come and said a blessing. She was sorry she had missed it. After saying grace they tucked. It wasn't the best meal ever made but it was fine, given the circumstances. At the make-shift table, they didn't talk of sombre medical things, just of the wedding. It was the only good news to be shared in a while. 'So, you guys stayed over last night?' Erin wondered. 'You and the other Fitzpatricks must have hit it then Jamie.'

He nodded. 'Yeah, it helped me to see where you get some of your good qualities from' he explained, nudging Caoimhe. _And the bad ones too,_ she supposed. _Families. _While last night had been about her big sister and new brother –in- law, later wouldn't be though. She explained to everyone present. 'My mother is inviting us for _tea_ later on today.' She put emphasis on it like it was something to be feared. Apparently it was 'She'll offer you boiling liquid in a china cup, stuff you with scones a.k.a. biscuits and ply you for information. _Doesn't sound half bad- I do remember someone telling me about the famous Irish hospitality._

In truth it wasn't looking back. That was what Jamie, had said, wishing her to sweet dreams. He had survived the worst- the dreaded initial encounter. The answers he gave to their questions were satisfying. He was a Harvard educated, lawyer turned cop with Irish ancestry. What was not to love? However that was not what Caoimhe remarked on aloud as she lay in bed that night. It was how the comfort of being with her own family hadn't worn away when went to Sunday dinner. Despite being in a hospital setting, she was totally at home with the Reagans. She had always felt like that she belonged with Jamie but now with them too? It was almost too good to be true. While in some ways, she had never fitted in with her family when she was with him she didn't feel she had to keep proving herself. That was what couples did, accepted each other and their baggage.

**A/N: Thoughts? Let me know! I didn't feel it would benefit the reader to **_**listen**_ **to the conversations between Jamie and Caoimhe's parents- I didn't want it to get boring. We already know a lot about Jamie from episodes of Blue bloods and we know a good bit about Caoimhe from previous chapters.**


	9. Out of the woods and into the unknown

**A/N: I have to say I particularly enjoyed writing this chapter… **

The Monday after the wedding had been hectic. She was still on a high from the weekend. A case was coming together after weeks and in a few days they were due to go to court. Despite the fact that it had been a long arduous day, being a creature of habit and knowing that there were people feeling worse than she was, she went to the hospital to check on the Reagans. Jamie would there, having just gotten off work.

When she got to his room, he was alone. She presumed Linda had nipped home to check on Jack, get him ready for school the next day. Danny was probably off in search of coffee. The darkness of winter had somehow seeped into the walls of the building, with its cold clinical light. There was frost on the ground and that would soon be replaced by a blanket of snow. Weather for playing outside or curling up inside watching cheery films. _Would they be here until Christmas?_ It would be her and Jamie's first festive season together. However first there was Thanksgiving. Pulling herself back to the present, she broke into a one-sided conversation with Sean. .

After a little while they were happily interrupted by Jamie. He greeted Sean and she hopped up. He didn't look tired, just drawn like this whole experience was taking a lot of him. He settled himself in the chair when she offered pulling her into his lap. She couldn't help but shiver. He warmed her fingers, grasping them in his and told them both of the day's events. 'You okay?' he wondered. 'Just thinking…' _Of green Christmases back home. _She didn't go back to Ireland at this time of year though. There was something magical about spending it in the City Which Never Slept. After looking him directly in the eye to show her sincerity, her gaze dropped to the bed.

Sean's head was bandaged, dressed in a hospital gown. His eyes were closed and he looked peaceful. As though he were asleep. His left hand held an IV drip. His face had lost its roundness. The latest scans showed brain activity, but they weren't ready to try and wake him up. Saying that his brain needed to recover from the trauma and that he would do so of his own accord when the time was right. The sheets were lovingly tucked up to his chin, but even so it occurred to her he could still be lacking in warmth.

She rose and moved swiftly towards him. She took his hand in hers Jamie took her other one and they made a chain. His spider like 'piano' fingers as they were called, were warmer than hers. That gave her some hope. At least his circulation was still good. Aimless chatter was called for. They talked about their plans for the next couple of weeks. Linda, Danny and Jack came after a while to wish him a good night and sweet dreams. It wasn't like he really needed rest, or so it seemed. He had been unmoving for about two weeks. Being too old for lullabies, they had just prayed.

After about an hour Jack's eyes started to droop, but he wanted to stay for a while longer. He was allowed, of course. Neither parent had the heart to stop him doing something which made him so happy. He had been down for the last few days. When the prayers came to an end and everyone lost the ability to speak for fear of choking up, they put on the i-pod. Classical upbeat tracks this time. To be honest, no one wanted him to fall asleep, quite the opposite actually.

She didn't realize it until her vision blurred with tears, but she had been cradling his unmoving fingers, her eyes fixed upon them. Until now. She rubbed her eyes. _That couldn't be right, she was hallucinating. _However desperately trying to believe it was true she didn't alert the others. This time, rather than just holding his hand in hers. Tuning in properly she felt it. The tinniest tremor. Looking back it reminded her strongly of earthquake, well sort of. The thing about earthquakes was its power. The ability to destroy people's lives. One of the greatest showcases of nature ever experienced by human kind. This _this, _while immensely powerful wasn't destroying lives. But rather building them up again.

She was shaking visibly. Sensing this Jamie held it steady looking her in the eye. Before he could properly search her eyes for a sense of what was going on, she gently removed her hand from his. Using it to point. Towards the green blanket. Where Sean's finger's having previously rested, were now floating above it, tapping. What the first time and been a hardly visible twitch, he was now stretching them forward, testing his strength. Letting out an audible squeak the others became aware of what was going on.

Danny's fingers were over his mouth, in totally shock. For the first time in the months she had known him he was truly speechless. Linda wiping the tears from her eyes, clearing her vision, hardly daring to believe it. However it was Jack that moved first. He knelt before his brother and whispered 'squeeze my fingers if you can hear.' There was a sharp intake of breath as Jack almost had his fingers crushed. It seemed he could. Then his eyes started to flutter. They opened. Bright and eager.

It hurt him to leave, but Jamie knew what he had to do. So intent on his task, in a haze, he walked straight past the guy whose son was staying in the room next door. No matter how much he wanted to shout it from the rooftops he mustn't tell anyone yet. Not until they knew for sure that everything was okay. He dashed towards the nurse's station. Where he found Dr. Henderson gazing at Sean's latest scans and checking his vitals with the staff. 'Jamie, I was just starting my rounds...' She trailed off catching sight of the glint which had returned to his eyes. Without speaking she broke into a run.

When they returned Sean was sitting up trying to clear his throat. Unused to speaking for so long, Linda wasn't sure whether giving him water was a sensible idea. He creased brow relaxed when she saw Dr. Henderson. She shone a light in his eyes and got him to open his mouth wide. Sure that he would be able to swallow it without chocking they got him a glass of water and a straw. He quickly took it out giving Linda a look when she tried to help him drink. His voice was rusty from lack of use but his speech was clear. He was able to state his name and other details. However he was confused about the date. Apparently this was understandable and they shouldn't worry. After all he had been unconscious for a long time. After that she checked his limbs.

He was able to move his fingers pretty well. Although not totally as he should. Assuming that would improve once he had rested she moved to his feet. They were ice- cold and purple. If she was at all worried by this, she did not show it. Instead moving on with the examination. No one seemed to notice anything out of the ordinary. They were far too joyful. For once Linda didn't seem to be here as a nurse, but rather a mother. It would be horrible to ruin that. Becoming aware of her watching eyes, Dr Henderson exchanged a glance. It said quite plainly _Not a word; we're not sure yet. _She asked him to wriggle his toes. He did. The tiniest wriggle possible. If you blinked you would have missed it. Just like earlier with his fingers. The thing was though, that this time, he was alert and responsive. _So shouldn't he have been able to do better than that? _Upon hearing a strange sound, she gazed upwards. Sean looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Frightened at the realization that he was already faced with something which he was unable to do? He was really trying. Grunting with exertion. But it made no difference. His feet were unable to do what was asked of them. How long they would remain that way, only time would tell.

After explaining the situation, Dr Henderson went to book another MRI for first thing in the morning. She wouldn't diagnose until she had proof. She then left, there was no point talking when they didn't know what they were dealing with. Danny seemed hell-bent on making him try harder. Pushing him, so that things would go back to how they were. He didn't raise his voice once, but it was obviously still stressing Sean out. Eventually when he couldn't take it anymore, Linda suggested they head home for the night with Jack. He needed sleep and maybe they would be able to get some now that they knew he was safe. Jamie spoke, just as Caoimhe was about to open her mouth. 'I'll- We'll stay tonight.' _Great_ _minds think alike._

Tired out from the goings on of that night, eventually he fell into a light slumber. Assured by the promise that they would be there if needs be. Unaware of what he was doing, he curled into a ball. After while he unfurled, subconsciously trying to find the best way to sleep. It was then that she noticed. Jamie followed suit, acutely aware of what was happening. Sean's legs were moving. But he wasn't the one pulling the strings. They were jerking insanely. Flying up into the air and back down again just as suddenly. Like he was being shocked. It seemed he was aware of what he was doing. Members of the audience, behind a screen, watching events unfold, unable to do a thing. The spontaneous movement was obviously causing him a great deal of discomfort. For he was whimpering audibly in pain, agitated. A look past between Caoimhe and Jamie. He whispered 'Is it an epileptic fit?' However it didn't seem so. For one thing, only his legs were affected. 'Was it like, sleep walking? If they woke him would he be caused further hurt?' That wasn't going to work. He was already awake. His hand had reached down at the speed of light and slapped his leg. Like the pain was a pesky insect which could be removed with a wave of the hand.

They rose, he was fully awake now. His eyes had taken on the same expression from earlier. His eyes were filled wth terror that comes from being subject to the power of an unknown force. Something jarred in Caoimhe's memory. _How could she have forgotten that? This sure was a cruel way for God to remind her of her childhood…_ Focusing on the problem, she spoke to Sean. 'Does it feel like someone's randomly electrocuting your leg, or like someone's let off a firecracker which is fizzing constantly?'

Jamie gazed at her quzzically. _That was a weird question. _Which he was unable to answer, anytime he tried the pain became too much. Understanding this Caoimhe added 'nod once for the first option and twice for the second option.' Seeming to understand, he nodded twice. Slowly as though it took all of his effort just not to scream. She smiled gratefully. _Time to think back, what had triggered that?_ It came to her. The way he had been sleeping! She exchanged another glance with Jamie. He had no clue what she was doing, but was more than willing to help. At least it was better than doing nothing. Throwing back the blanket. She gently picked up his right leg. It was rigid and just as cold as before. She placed it down flat on the bed. Jamie did the same with his other one. Unsure if he was going to be able to independently maintain the position, she grabbed a pillow and placed it between his legs.

Then they waited. Eventually the whimpering ceased and he fell back asleep. Sure that he would be okay Caoimhe took Jamie's hand and they stepped outside to talk. As soon as they were outside his voice returned to normal. Well, sort of. It was still rather high-pitched from the shock. 'What was _that_?' he wanted to know. So, she explained to him. She had experienced spasms the same as that as a child, so she had done her best to help. 'The firecracker ones are easier to control. They are triggered by movement. He slept curled in a ball. When his legs unfurled, they didn't like being made to loosen. He hugged her, holding her close.'I'm glad _someone_ knew what they were doing in there. I was useless. What would I do without you?' He didn't seem to want to know the answer. She shrugged modestly- always glad to lend a hand, he had helped her too. It was important that he didn't forget that.

After that Danny and Linda came back. The others knew, but not wanting to wake him, they preferred to wait and see him in the morning. Jamie blabbed about what had happened, blowing it way out of proportion, of course. They were extremely worried about it, but delighted that he was comfortable again, thanks to her. Danny however grew bewildered when he saw the strange position Sean was in. 'Why is he like that? Didn't you just call a nurse to stop the spasms? Used valium or something?' She nodded, impressed. His medical knowledge had improved vastly with spending so much time in the hospital.

'Yeah, you're right… I could have… But the thing about those meds is that you can become overly reliant on them. He's only eight and what if this is a long term thing? You can't rely on drugs for everything.

He looked her up and down. 'Are you implying that my son could spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair addicted to pain meds?' he yelled. Realizing that he was just outside Sean's room he lowered his voice, but didn't apologize.

'Danny. You know I didn't mean it like that…' she murmured a little sadly. She turned to Jamie for support. _He had been there- her technique had worked. _The look in his eyes told him she was right but that she wasn't going to get an apology from Danny. He was a guy with anger management issues, who was in a fragile place at the moment. They all were. She understood that. It had hurt, though. He silently wrapped his arms around her; she found his comforting presence soothing.

She tried to explain to Danny. 'Putting his legs on the floor helps ground him…' He was looking at her again 'What makes you so sure you know what _our _son needs. He's Jamie's nephew. But what is he to you?' he thundered. We don't feel sympathy for him- it's not necessary. He glared at her. Feeling stung, but willing to stand her ground, she shot back. 'Don't you get it? I don't feel sympathy for him I feel empathy. I know exactly what he's going through. The pain of trying so hard, but not getting anywhere. The pain of spasms that haunt like nightmares when you're just trying to sleep. Just trying to be normal. I curl up in the foetal position because I missed out on gestational time. I was premature. He does it because he misses his parents. Probably he feels like a helpless infant unable to do anything for himself. We're not that different. I know that's hard for you to understand and it scares the hell out of you. But please try. For Sean's sake.'

When she had said her piece Jamie took over. '_I _want her here and I think Sean does too. I know it annoys that she knows more about this than you and as a result can do more _for _him. I know you want to lash out at the world for doing this to Sean. You have to keep going though, making the best of a bad situation as you face the unknown.'

Danny strode away, resting his head against the wall at the far end of the corridor. He let it drop. They stayed. It was a long night. The next morning Sean ate breakfast, bribed with having his IV removed. He thoroughly disliked it. With it out there was really no reason for him to stay in bed. Convincing him to get up was tough however. Weight- bearing wasn't a possibility, he was far too weak. Whether that would recede with time was unknown. Danny picked him up. He wasn't entirely comfortable but was able to tolerate it. They strolled down the corridor, slowly counting down the moments until their appointment.

She and Jamie stayed outside. What he had said the night came back to her. She squeezed his fingers in thanks. She couldn't speak. Her throat was closing. _What if the reason, she seemed to know more about this was because she did? What if the reason for that was because his brain was damaged…?_ She didn't need to say a thing. He understood. Turning to her, his eyes shining terribly bright, he reminded her of something. 'You told me once, that you never thought you'd have a proper relationship because of the way you were… That's not true now, is it? Then there's hope for him-whatever happens.'

'You know if Ididn't become a lawyer, I would've been a physiologist.'

'I think you would have been a good one. You can do anything you wanna you know, no matter what any doctor predicted.'

She sighed. _He was right. I only wish Danny could believe that…_

About an hour after that, they came back out. Their worst fears confirmed. As soon as possible, Danny let Sean down. Just like he believed he had let him down. By letting he gets hurt. The area of his brain controlling his legs had been irreparably damaged. He settled him into a wheelchair. Little did he know at the time that it would be a long time before he got out of it again.

Tests results received over the next few days showed that his cognitive function was 100%. He had some physical therapy. He didn't see the need to co-operate with the therapists He didn't understand why it all had been taken away from him. All he wanted to do was go home. Go back to school see his friends And with good reason he had been here for a long time. He seemed to be managing everyday tasks okay, with a lot of assistance. They let him go home- he would continue rehab as an out-patient. It would be a while before he went back to school though, the reason being he would most likely need an assistant.

All of them left the hospital together. Heading in different directions. The Reagan's home and Caoimhe back to her place. Jamie, the perfect gentleman offered to drive her. He didn't want to crowd the others. They had been spending a lot of time together over the last while. The kind of close contact that was only brought on by dire situations. She gratefully accepted. He wanted to walk her inside. They sipped past the door-man Norman. He looked Jamie up and down as they went inside but said nothing. He was a sweet guy. They caught the elevator. They were alone, in a tight space, surrounded by mirrors in the bright light. The door binged open. 2 seconds later they were at her door. _Oh the classic awkward silence… _'Um… would you like to come inside? 'She murmured. Almost to herself. However it seemed he heard her. Putting the key in the door, she led the way. Bravely into the unknown.

**A/N: Please review- I'd love to know what you think! I didn't think I would end it like that, but then the opportunity just presented itself… I will continue with my original idea in the next chapter.**

**P.S. Are we getting that the whole brain damage thing is something she is totally comfortable with, while the territory she is now in with Jamie is totally alien? Or do I need to make that clearer?**


	10. Changes

**A/N: Sorry** **for the delay in updating. I've been away. I started this chapter before I left and then when I got back I found it difficult to get into my rhythm again.**

It was Thanksgiving Day and the family were spending it together. Caoimhe's family didn't celebrate the American holiday, so she had been invited to attend the Reagan family dinner with Jamie. The meal was fantastic. However the mood was grim and the conversation strained. When the time came for Danny to say grace, he decline. 'What do I have to be thankful for?' he huffed. _His kid was confined to a wheelchair. That would suck the joy out of anyone. _Henry's eyes swept up and down the table. Settling on Caoimhe. She blushed, not sure what to say. They forced her into, teasing her. So she gave it a go. 'You know, there are worse places to be spending today. A couple of years ago, I wouldn't have celebrated this holiday. Go back another few and I wouldn't have been in America. But today, I'm sitting around a dining table with some truly wonderful people,' she squeezed Jamie's hand. I'm thankful I'm not spending it in the hospital. Like we thought we would be up until a few days ago. For some of you, the last few weeks have been horrible. We're all still here, celebrating together though. I'm thankful for that. I also hope that maybe next year, circumstances will have improved and we'll have even more to be thankful for. Hopefully I'll still be around to see that hope be realised. '

Frank grinned. She had apparently spoken well. After that the ice was broken and the tension lessened. They would try and get Sean back to school next week. It was private, so they were more willing than a public one to accommodate his current needs. All they wanted was to make things as normal as possible for him. He really hated having therapy every day. His legs were stiff; any movement was a huge time-consuming effort. It would take time, but it would get easier. 'I hate my therapist, she's mean and she makes my legs even sorer' Sean moaned as his mom tried to get him to open up. Tell them how it was going.

'What's her name?' Caoimhe chirped brightly.

'Jenna', he mumbled.

'Do you have any other names for her?' He seemed confused by this question, so she went on to explain. 'Nicknames I mean. As she recalled her childhood memories she started to giggle. 'I used to call mine a physioterrorist…' _Opps, maybe I shouldn't have said that- they'll think I'm a terrible influence. _Jamie managed to see the funny side though and it was his opinion which she held in the greatest esteem.

'_You _had _therapy?_' he gasped, filled with wonder. The cool, accomplished lawyer, who walked into court with her head held high. Forced to bend to the whims of a slave driver? I_t _didn't seem to make a lot of sense to him. It was true though. He smiled and leaned closer towards her on the sofa. At least _someone _understood what he was going through. His parents just let her get on with it, not sticking up for him at all. Their reason behind this was love for him. However in the early stages of rehab, it was difficult for him to see it like that. It would remain so for a very long time.

Caoimhe surveyed him. He was slightly lopsided. 'Don't lean into me,' she told him. He would hurt his back if he didn't sit up straight. Seeing that what he was doing was wrong, he shifted his weight, fixed himself and sat up properly. Realizing that what she said had some effect on him gave her an idea.

'Sean, would you mind showing _what_ she does that hurts you so much? It's been a while since I had _proper _therapy… When you get stronger, you don't have to do it as much. I keep fit of course- swimming, horse-riding, walking, and cycling. I'd like to see, maybe get some tips.' He seemed fairly happy to oblige. She promised she wouldn't hurt him.

First, he needed her help. She rose off the sofa, picked him up carefully and set him on the floor in the living room. He started to explain 'Well, she puts my leg on her shoulder.'

'Like this?' He managed to nod; the pain was already getting to him. His muscles were pretty tight, like most kids in a similar situation. _All that sitting down mustn't help either. _ 'How long does she keep it like that for?'

'10 seconds' he panted.

She thought how best to approach the situation. _Start simple, stay focused, let him feel as though he's helping you and not the other way around._

'Can you count to ten for me?' After getting over the shocking of being asked to do so, he showed her he could. _Just testing, it has been a while since he went to school._

Trying to distract him, she swapped legs. This time they counted in Irish, Japanese, French, Spanish, and Italian. He learned something and got a good stretch along the way. According to Linda the best he'd gotten since starting therapy.

As they wiped down the kitchen counters, later on they talked. Without realizing what she was doing she made a promise. 'If you'll let me, I'd like to work with him. Help him. If I can...' Linda seemed taken aback by the offer. Of course, she was willing to try anything. He and his therapist weren't on the same page, they hadn't gelled yet. Yet, he still needed therapy. He knew her. He trusted her. He wouldn't be aware of the arrangement, he didn't need to be.

'That would be great!' The only thing is, we won't be able to pay a dime.'

Caoimhe was so shocked she almost fell; over thank God she was holding on to the table at the time. _She didn't expect money. They were almost family for goodness sake. _She told them so. She didn't want to see them go through anymore financial hardship, particularly at her expense. Times were tough. Most of Sean's medical bills had been paid by the insurance company. Her mom used to say, having a kid with a disability was expensive, and when they saw you had something medically wrong with you they add a 0 to everything. She did pretty well for herself out of law. She had no need to take money from the Reagans. Especially when they were in such a venerable place.

Linda also expressed anxiety that helping Sean would take away from her time spent with Jamie. 'I mean even those evenings spent at the hospital when you two could have been out doing something fun. ' Caoimhe thought nothing of it. The time spent together at the hospital had brought them closer together as a couple. Jamie loved his family to bits. She wouldn't under any circumstances ask him to spend tie away from them for selfish reasons, most definitely not when the youngest Reagan was injured. The promise she made hadn't been a rash one, by any means. She and Jamie had talked it over. He thought it was a fantastic idea. _He's such a sweet supportive guy_… She sighed, _Oh the temptation to daydream about him. _Anyways, there relationship had gone to a new level lately. They still went on a lot of dates of course. To the movies or to dinner. She had been careful not to neglect her friends, believing that friendship was of utmost importance. However they had started hanging out, casually, more often. Introducing each other to their passions and to their social circle. They spent a fair amount of time together. _Jamie wasn't a jealous or selfish guy, thank God._

So their arrangement continued over the next few weeks. Firstly she had him rolling over, wriggling his toes (as best he could) and working on his core strength. Doing sit ups. He did everything she asked. Usually without queries or whinging and with a smile on his face. He was a good natured boy. Since the accident he hadn't really been himself though. _Understandably._ He had to give up taekwondo. And watch his big brother playing soccer from the side-lines, knowing he would never get to join in. It both saddened and frustrated him. He was adamant that he was okay. _Even if he said he wasn't there wouldn't be much they could do. _Caoimhe liked helping Sean; it brought them closer and made her feel less helpless.

One Sunday afternoon they took a break from therapy. It was Caoimhe and Jamie's turn to cook. _Not that she found it the least bit therapeutic. However much talking to Jamie was! _There was one down side however. He made her laugh so hard, and was so handsome that it was distracting. More than one she had nicked her pinkie while chopping veggies. Needless to say, he kissed it better. Sean was getting into therapy a routine now. With Sunday dinner, there was a rota. He didn't seem too pleased about giving up his time with her, but she brushed it off. Of course, the others had offered to take her place in the kitchen. She had stood firm.

She explained her reasoning to Jamie as she stood at the stove, stirring. 'Treat 'em, mean, keep 'em keen as the saying goes. He stood behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist.

'Is that what you're doing to me?' he teased. Cause, if so, I'd try another tactic.' He was close to her, so close; she could feel his breath as it tickled her ear.

'Well, I never said I was much good with relationships...'

Determined to prove her wrong, he kissed her. She kissed him back. Soon their lips were locked, eyes closed. They were interrupted by Danny, looking for a glass of water. Or so he said later. He didn't get it. Jamie gave him a look and he made himself scarce pretty quickly. They had come to an understanding, finally.

As Caoimhe set the table later, she heard a high pitched giggle coming from the living room. She put the last fork in place and went to investigate. She was curious, of course, but liked to get a job done well. The sound was coming from Sean. Danny was _attempting _to pick up, so he could get washed up before dinner. The detective was failing. Purposefully. _But Sean was blissfully unaware._ He wanted to finish the game he and Jack had taken up when Caoimhe had started cooking earlier. Every time Danny playfully lunged for him. He would wriggle just out of reach. It was a game. His laughter was high-pitched as though he was unused to making the sound.

He decided when it was finished. The family ate later than usual that afternoon, not that anyone minded. They joked at the table, like always. Sean however wasn't laughing now. He was shovelling food into his mouth at hyper-speed. His appetite had grown weak since the accident. He had grown thin and drawn in just the space of a few short weeks, so it was a nice change.

**A/N: What did you think? I think my ending was weak, but I wasn't sure what to do. I had an idea but it didn't fit right. So I scrapped it. Reviews please! I was actually sitting in an Irish bar and thinking of Jamie and Caoimhe. What's going to happen next? I think it's time to spice things up… Keep reading to find out how. I promise to update soon.**


	11. Never Send a Man to do a Woman's Job

**A/N: Your thoughts on the title of this story? I got sick of 'Untitled' and it seemed to fit well.**

Today was Caoimhe's day off. She met up with Jamie for a quick breakfast. Then off to her book club, before having hot- chocolate with a pal. Before she knew it she was on her way to JFK on the Subway. They would catch a cab to the hotel though. That was an important thing to do, when first visiting NY. She was going to pick up her friend Eliza. Her childhood best friend whom she hadn't seen in 10 years.

She was in town for two weeks, knowing that Caoimhe lived there; they had decided to meet up. See the sights. Shop 'till they dropped. She lived in the Northern part of the country now. Running a drama school for teens. Her real passion was acting. So they would take in a show on Broadway while she was in town. They spotted each other in the arrivals hall. They moved towards each other through the throngs of people. Hugging each other and jumping up and down, in a most unladylike way. Not that they cared. It was like old times.

Stepping backwards, they took each other in. Ellie still looked the same, young, smiley. They spoke nineteen to a dozen, only stopping so that Caoimhe could hail a cab. She did so by simultaneously whistling shrilly and sticking her hand out. As the driver put the luggage into the back, they settled themselves inside. Ellie seemed taken aback. 'You're so confident now! What happened to the shy thing I knew?'

'She stayed at home in the Emerald Isle? Caoimhe guessed playfully. 'Well, that's what New York does to girl. It's one of the greatest cities in the world, but it's a dog eat dog town. Survival of the fittest.'

'You're certainly fit- you look great. You're finding time for other things beside cases then?'

She nodded, smirking slightly. She almost had to stop the words tumbling out. _The time would come, for that later._ At school she had been all about working hard. Wanting to do something with her life. However Ellie knew quite well, she liked to let her hair down.

That was exactly planned to do. Once Ellie was checked in, they went to lunch. As she tucked into her food, Ellie was being watched. There was something different about her and Caoimhe couldn't quite put her finger on it. Giving up, she took a direct line. 'There's something different about you, since the last time we talked.' _Which was just two days ago… What was going on?_

Looking up from her plate, Ellie blushed. Despite being an actor, she didn't have a poker face. She spilt the beans. She had met a guy. Called Brendan. They had gone on a date and hit it off. He wanted to see her again as soon as she was back on Irish soil.

'Bran's lovely, it's early days yet but you never know,' her blue eyes were hopeful. Caoimhe couldn't help but feel excited for her. Wanting to tell her about Jamie, but finding herself unable to, she pressed her for more information. _Gosh, they must be friendly. Nicknames, already! Bran is a strange one; I wonder where that came from. _His Dad was a baker, as were his brother and sister. Being the youngest, he wanted something different. He was a personal trainer and a health nut to boot. The only kind of bread he would eat was wholemeal, with bran in it, of course. However he knew the way to Ellie's heart; chocolate and she described him as 'sweet as can be.'

The girls spent the rest of the afternoon catching up. They walked to Central Park. Work, meant that they didn't hang out for a whole day again until the weekend. They did the Statue of Liberty, the Empire State building and drove across the Brooklyn Bridge. On Saturday night, they decided to do something less touristy. They were going out clubbing. Despite having lived in New York for several years, with the city's nightlife being the only one she had ever known. Caoimhe still felt a bit anxious. However she had a plan.

That evening as the girls sat at the bar sipping fruity cocktails a man came up behind them. He tapped Caoimhe on the shoulder. She jumped at first, but looking around and seeing who it was, she grew calm. Calmer than she had felt since entering the building with Ellie. Ellie was confused. The two seemed to know each other, but she was in the dark as to who he was.

Not wanting to be rude, she asked Caoimhe to introduce her. Caoimhe seemed startled that she was there and her face immediately took on an apologetic look. _Sometimes when she was with Jamie, she forgot about the people around them._

Nodding towards Jamie she introduced him as 'Jamie Reagan' He'll be escorting us tonight.' He smiled her and they shook hands. 'It's a pleasure to meet you.'

If Ellie had been shocked earlier, that was nothing compared with how she felt now. 'Caoimhe, honey, you didn't have to go all that trouble for little old me…' What she was really thinking, in spite of how much she trusted her friend was; _what kind of escort was he__? Would he be offering his services tonight?_ She was kind of appealed. Was Caoimhe that wealthy and desperate?_ Maybe she was just trying to make it a fun, memorable night. She probably planned it, not knowing about Brendan. To be fair, you didn't tell her about going on the date_ her conscience reasoned.

_It would have been fun and memorable anyway_ the irrational part of her brain yelled.

Ellie's mouth was stretched in a wide grin. However her eyes told a different story altogether. She was trying to look at Caoimhe inconspicuously, her eyes full of questions. Realising how this must look to an outsider, Caoimhe decided now was the time to come clean. 'Or to be more exact Officer Jamie Reagan of the NYPD. Also known as my boyfriend.'

_Well that _certainly _cleared things up. _Ellie was gobsmacked. _When did this happen? _She couldn't believe it Caoimhe had finally dived in and gotten to know the opposite sex. She was delighted for her. He seemed quite mannerly. He only asked for the one dance, keeping his distance otherwise. He seemed reserved. The two were alike in that way. He wasn't possessive and knew that tonight was about the girls and _their _relationship. They danced until they could dance no more. In the ladies room, Caoimhe apologized. 'For not telling you about Jamie and for asking him to come along tonight. It's just that he makes me feel extremely safe. I just wanted us to be able to have a memorable night, not because you got mugged or anything but because it was enjoyable. '

Ellie waved off her apology, saying it wasn't necessary. But the conversation didn't stop there. _Why hadn't Caoimhe told her about Jamie? Was she scared of what she might think or afraid that they would' get on? _ He looked like the perfect guy. _Why should Caoimhe care what she thought anyway? _ The reason behind the secrecy was none of these. It was because Caoimhe had been afraid that the second she mentioned him to Ellie, things would start to go downhill. She hadn't wanted to spoil things by revealing the relationship. He was also difficult to describe and the kind of guy you had to meet in person to really get to know. She had kind of wanted things to be just the way they were when they were fourteen. _Young. Single. No commitments_. She sighed. _She was just going to have to accept that things were different now, in many ways. Almost all of them positive_

Questions answered, the girls stopped talking, heading back outside. They had a fantastic night, and morning. When Ellie had successfully managed to hail her first cab, back to the hotel, Jamie and Caoimhe strolled to the nearest Subway station. There was no rush. She was in safe hands with him.

Having directed Ellie to a church in the city, with breath-taking architecture, Caoimhe joined the Reagan's at their usual one for Mass before heading back to Henry and Frank's for Sunday dinner. When the conversation came around to what everyone had been up to for the last week, Caoimhe spoke of her friend and the good deed Jamie had done for them. 'We both are extremely grateful, for you stepping in as escort and we enjoyed ourselves immensely.'

'You're very welcome, think nothing of it. It was my pleasure. '

The next week, after dropping Ellie to the airport, Caoimhe called in on her parents and the very good friend of hers who lived in the same building. She had loved NY and was sad to be heading home. Caoimhe had cheered her up by reminding her of how much closer her next date with Brendan was drawing. That distracted her, she would be dreaming of him for the whole 7 hour flight. _She was such a romantic._ Afterwards, she went to the 12th precinct.She and Jamie were going on their weekly date, as soon as he was finished work. She was looking forward to it. As she watched Jamie exit the building, she saw that someone was with him. Someone she didn't recognize. Then she clicked who he was. _He had to be Jamie's partner! _Impatient as always, she made her way over.

Realising they didn't know each other, Jamie introduced them. 'Vinny Cruz- my partner.' She had heard about this guy. He was rather laid back, which didn't suit Jamie. They hadn't gotten on well to start with. 'Caoimhe Fitzpatrick- company lawyer- helped out the precinct on a case a while back.' She waited. Waited some more. He didn't say anything else, instead just stood there. She shook hands with him and tried to pull herself together.

'So, partners that must be pretty nice- spending so much time together fighting crime.'

He nodded. 'Can get boring sometimes though- when the streets are quiet.'

'I'd say you're pretty interesting to talk to. I'd bet you have stories to tell- ones I haven't heard.'

'I know a fair bit about Officer Reagan; I interviewed him as a possible witness for that case he mentioned' She sneaked a glance at Jamie to see his reaction. His face remained impassive. She went on 'But you, not so much I'm afraid- we did only just meet.'

'Surely you have other things to do besides cases? All work and no play makes Jack a very dull boy.' _Well I thought I did. Now I'm not too sure._ 'Well, if you're up for something different I'm your guy. Maybe I'll see you around?' He seemed hopeful.

'Maybe you will…' Nodding to her he wished Jamie a nice weekend and walked away. They didn't speak as they walked to the restaurant. The street was crowded it was rush-hour. Any attempt at conversation would have been drowned out by the hustle and bustle of the city anyway. However, as they sat down in their own booth, with soothing music and the tinkle of glass being the only audible sounds, after they ordered they spoke. 'Caoimhe, wh-'Jamie started. The rest of his sentence was interrupted by the timely arrival of the waiter with their drinks.

Caoimhe took a sip. Giving him no indication that she wanted him to continue. He did though. 'What was that?' It was obvious he was trying not to be accusatory. To keep his voice level.

'I don't know what you mean.' Caoimhe said.

'With Vinny just now. You acted like I wasn't even there. Is there something going on between you two that I should know about?' he sounded wounded. _It was his fault, he shouldn't go blaming me._

'That was…' she faltered. 'Do you remember last week? When I introduced you to Ellie? Well, the 2nd sentence that came out of my mouth was that you were my boyfriend. You didn't even say a 2nd sentence. You just left me floundering. Forgive me if I didn't feel like telling Vinny that I was your partner too when you didn't seem to want to? I didn't think you could be _that _ashamed of me. I was sure as hell ashamed of your behaviour. I thought I might have been more important to you than the opinion of some guy you only just started work with. Who you don't even like half the time. Now I can see how wrong I was. About a lot of things.'

Suppressing tears, deciding it was best to get away without making even more of a fool of herself; she slammed her glass down and tottered out of the restaurant with her head held high. He didn't follow her.

**A/N: Trouble in paradise? A sign of things to come or a passing storm? Read on to find out. Keep the reviews coming- I love reading them. Thanks guys!**


	12. The Science of Deduction

**A/N: Sorry it took so long to update. This chapter is rather long. For reasons you'll see when you start reading, I'd like to take this opportunity to remind you that I do not own Blue Bloods. Only Caoimhe.**

She slotted her key in the door and went inside. Casting her gaze around the apartment, she located the files on the table. Right where she'd left them before rushing out the door that morning. She picked them up, flicking half-heartedly. Exhaustion hit her like a smack in the mouth and she flopped down on the sofa. That was one thing about working so hard, it took a lot out of you. The head of her department had explicitly said for her to take a break, rather than working through lunch. _The thing about lunch is tha_t _it usually involves a conversation with other people… _ It was hard to explain. Her friends definitely knew something was up. They were tactful and had only mentioned it a couple of times. It wasn't that she was totally obsessed with Jamie. Her life hadn't _totally _fallen apart since they had unofficially broken up 3 days ago. There had been no contact though, which she took as a bad sign. She had to force herself to not make the first move. _Not wanting to appear too… Apologetic? Emotional? Desperate? Anything._

She was sad, it would be stupid to try and pretend contrary to that. She had a kind of plan to deal with it. Act as though he was dead. _Not as though she'd killed him!_ Just so she could grieve. The trouble with that was not many people knew about their relationship. At the beginning that had been to self- preserve. So that I things went south, her friends wouldn't be too attached. But know while they knew she was upset, they didn't know why. She didn't particularly want to reveal why. It would be a repeat of the Ellie episode, with them banging on about the lack of trust. When that wasn't the case at all. She just hadn't wanted to involve too many people. Thinking that she getting hurt if they broke it off would be enough. She wasn't going to talk about this with her sister; she was still wrapped up in bliss with her husband. Then, there was Ellie. Well, being the only friend she had told Jamie about, she seemed the perfect choice. However, she was enjoying her early days with Brendan. _I don't want to load my problems onto her._ While she would be understanding and sympathetic, what Caoimhe felt she needed was a hug._ And you couldn't give those very well over Skype!_ Her mom and Dad would just be weird- try to act cool about it but fail miserably. _They wouldn't get it at all- why we fought that is._ They though Jamie was great. Period. Right now, though she wasn't too sure. Then there was his family. They liked her but they loved him and she needed someone to take her side. At least for the moment. When all came to all, she was left to grieve alone.

Deciding to distract herself and while away the minutes before she would be allowed back to the office she switched on the TV. Her boss was a kind guy. He wanted her working at her best. There was no doubt she wasn't trying. Despite this, things refused to fall into place. Like the files. She had been looking forward to working on the case that morning. However she couldn't because she left them at home. _Ah well, when you're preoccupied with other things it's only natural to forget_ a little voice in her head soothed her. However the mistake was stupid. Why did other elements of life, seep into work. _Life was messy. _ 'Great,' she murmured aloud. 'I_'_m answering my own questions. She switched to the news channel and tried to be interested. When this failed she decided to make herself some lunch. She had washed a head of lettuce and was just about to tear strips off it, when she saw a familiar face on screen. That of the Police Commissioner; Frank Reagan. He was holding a press conference and the words at the corner of the screen read; _Unprovoked NYPD shoots man in Washington Square Park_

She didn't pay _that _much attention, until she heard a reporter question the Commissioner as to whether the officer in question was his son. He defended his actions, turning the reporter's words against him. _Jamie. _Unable to listen to Frank being interrogated by the media, she crossed the room and switched the TV off. Then she found herself restlessly pacing. Her fingers itched, her heart thumped.She presumed he was okay. _But you couldn't always be sure. _ Logic told her the officer would be taken to hospital. To be checked over, due to shock he'd probably be checked over at St. Victor's so Linda would know. Before she could talk herself down out of doing what she was about to, she picked up her phone. Her instinct was to hit speed dial._ Jamie's number_. Realising that was too conspicuous she searched through her phone book and found Linda's number.

Her phone sprang to life and she picked it up. Glancing at the caller ID she recovered herself and answered. _That was once person she hadn't been expecting a call from; especially now. _ 'Hello_, _um…how's it going?'

There was a pause 'Fine, fine…' she seemed shy, but her voice gave away a hint of impatience. _There was a reason that she called._

That reason was the same one that Danny had given for calling earlier. Asking her a favour. To look after Jamie. He had shot a gun wielding guy in the middle of a park. Before he had shot anyone. He had to be checked over for shock. She had agreed and was on the way to the ER now. She hurried forward, cupping the phone to her ear, listening. There was no need to fill her in on the situation. She already knew. And was worried. As she moved, she was asked to give a blow-by- blow break- down of the medical examination he would be subjected to. 'Sometimes, situations like these- they upset people… I think it would help if, you came to the hospital.'

Caoimhe's throat tightened. That was what she wanted to hear. She didn't know if it was the right thing though. She reddened and she was glad she couldn't be seen 'Would he want to see me?' She waited with baited breath.

Linda spoke calmly with no hesitation 'Honey, I think he'd want to see you if he was in shock or not. Caoimhe hung up without saying a word. If she dwelled too long on this she would chicken out. She was going to the hospital.

She found the exam room they were in easily enough. She knew she would be allowed inside because Linda was looking after him. Waiting until she was finished taking his blood pressure, she opened the door. Linda's face was creased with worry. _It was probably higher than it should be. Stress being the reason why._

When Linda caught sight of Caoimhe, the family dinner last Sunday flashed through her mind. It had been the first 'Reagan' one in a while. Caoimhe wasn't there. Sean had wondered why. He was upset. The other's had the good sense to realise something was wrong. And to know that Jamie was a big boy, who could sort out his own problems. He explained away her absence saying 'She's not feeling too great Buddy.' His eyebrows had furrowed in concern. Linda found Danny's hand under the table, warning him to keep quiet. _She couldn't actually be sick- if she was then he'd be there, he was that sort of guy. Not really fazed by anything. But there was always a first time…_ Sean was like a dog with a bone. He didn't understand. He was too young. Jack seemed to get it through; he had matured a lot lately. He exchanged a glance with his mom over the bowl of peas. Asking whether or not he should kick him so he would shut up. Not at Sunday dinner, and not with him in his current condition. _Not that she would condone kicking anyway- she didn't like to see her sons squabbling. _

_No, Jamie could deal with Sean's questions himself. He knew the implications of letting her become a part of family life. They were close now. So of course, she would be missed at dinner. It was kind of annoying for them to split now- just as Sean was making progress. _However she pushed that thought to the back of her mind. It was selfish to think of just her immediate family at a time like this. _How must Jamie be feeling? Caoimhe? Break- ups were tough on all parties involved. Assuming they had broken up. _ It seemed fairly safe to assume they had. Jamie was in a terrible mood. And Sundays were his favourite day of the week. He loved his family. _The only trouble is, she was fast becoming part of it._

'Well, tell her I said I hope she feels better soon.' Jamie ever the reliable uncle promised he would. He didn't want to let Sean down. However Linda doubted that the two were on speaking terms. Danny had no desire to get involved. He hadn't been sure about her from the start. Only loosening up recently. This incident would reverse that; he would be protective as ever from now on. Of course, he would, if the split proved to have actually occurred and went on for a long time, say terrible things about her. As he did about Jack Boyle. For now though, the wound was too fresh, it needed time to heal. Jamie didn't often take Danny's comments lying down- particularly ones about his girlfriend. _Even his ex-girlfriend._ So they left him alone; giving him time to heal, hoping it would resolve itself.

While it didn't totally yesterday morning things improved. She got a phone call from Caoimhe. Wondering if Sean still wanted therapy. He did and she came over after work. Linda left them to it. She found it worked best if Sean wasn't crowded. Also she doubted if Caoimhe would be in the mood for a friendly chat. She wandered into the kitchen, putting away the groceries she had bought a few minutes earlier. However, through the door which was slightly ajar, she couldn't help but hear snippets of their conversation.

For the most part, Caoimhe deflected Sean's questions throughout the session by putting him through his paces. In the beginning when he asked her how she was feeling she said fine. She had a fair idea of what Jamie might have said. As they took a break, she asked after the Reagan's including Jamie. Her demeanour gave nothing away, but it was clear she still cared, otherwise she wouldn't have asked. _Hell, she wouldn't be here at all! _ Sean didn't click what was going on; he just answered the question. 'He's okay.' That seemed to satisfy her, she didn't say anything to that, and asked no more questions. After the session, she wished him good luck with the new exercises and left. No telling when she would be back. Sean had been quiet that Sunday. He didn't question her absence from the dinner table. After all, even if she was currently absent from Jamie's life, she was still in his.

Linda leaned down and started writing up his vitals. She glanced up exclaiming 'shoot, my pen is out of ink!' I'll be back in a second. As she backed out of the room she winked slyly at Caoimhe. This gesture went seemingly unnoticed by Jamie. He was at that time, preoccupied by the veins in his hands, gazing down at them. Unable to help herself, Caoimhe glanced at Jamie. He didn't look worse for wear; just shook up. She found herself suppressing a smile. _Some people were so obvious! _She sighed. Wishing he was being obvious now. She could do with knowing what he was thinking right then.

'Is there any point asking how you knew I was here?' It took a moment for her to realise he was speaking to her. It took her another moment to think of something to say. He was nervous and they lapsed into silence. As though a word hadn't been spoken. It had though. _Progress!_ She allowed the joy those words gave to her, to build in her chest. She blushed slightly, copying him in gazing down at her lap. Slowly a smile spread across her face. 'Nah, you know what I'm like…. Always with my eyes peeled. Isaw the segment in the press conference…'

'You worked it out' he finished. He found himself catching her eye and nodding; impressed. Not that it mattered. She didn't need to impress him. He was already impressed. He already respected her. That hadn't changed.

'I didn't imagine you as such a Detective, Mrs Sherlock Holmes' He was joking.

'What can I say? I'm tenuous, I read people.' She could hear the question in his tone, which he was refusing to acknowledge. 'I trust you Jamie, just not the criminals you work with on a daily basis. I mean honestly, I leave you alone for a week and you end up in the ER.' She was teasing, of course, however there was a time to put all joking aside. They had reached that point. Determined to see if there relationship could be salvaged she made a stab at conversation 'I don't think I'm cut out for that line of work. _Your_ line of work. Although, of he ever came asking, I don't think I'd mind marrying a detective.'

'I think you're a bit late. A couple of hundred years ago maybe.' _Who wouldn't want to be with her? _At this she turned away and h had no idea what was going through her mind.

'Am I?' To better see his face as he answered she turned around again her eyes bright. Determined to see if the relationship could be salvaged she made a stab at conversation.

'You know what they say; when someone doesn't call you they're waiting for you to call them. Was that the case or what?'

'I just wanted to let you cool off. I'm not used to fighting- I thought it might be best. You're so independent and driven. You know what you want,' Jamie answered._ That would be you then!_ 'If you thought we were finished, there wouldn't be much I could do about it.'

'I shouldn't have ignored you like that. I should have welcomed you into that aspect of my life. Vinny's not just my partner anymore. We've had our differences, but he's my friend. I mean you've introduced me to your friend- I should have done the same.'

'Well I shouldn't have tried to flirt with him. I over reacted.'

'Don't blame yourself- it was my fault as much as yours.'

'Jamie! I don't care who started the fight! I'm ending it.'

_That was the best news he had heard all day! _His legs were still shaky, but he got up, strode over to Caoimhe and hugged her. There was no point promising they'd never fight again. They would. That was what couples did.

Seeing that they were reunited, Linda smiled. She stayed outside, for another minute, giving them some privacy before continuing with the examination. She then spoke with a doctor, who agreed Jamie should be allowed to leave, signing so he could be discharged. She advised him to rest. She felt better known that Jamie would have someone to look after him and talk about it with. They walked out of the hospital and hopped into a cab. Danny was still clearing things up at the scene of the shooting. There was no way that he would be allowed within 10 ft. of the place. His father, being the Commissioner would still be dealing with the media. Erin was still at work. As the cab pulled away, without a destination, Caoimhe suggested all the people he could stay with. He met these possibilities with those certainties. To be honest, she didn't want to leave him alone. Though he wasn't admitting he had taken this pretty hard. She wanted to stay with him. The obvious questions were; _was it too soon? Would he _want _to be in her company at a time like this?_

It seemed he did though. Jamie wondered if there would be media outside his place. The press always jumped at the news that officers shot at a guy who hadn't shot at him. However, in Jamie's defence he was a serious threat. He seemed kind of confused, drawing a gun in a crowded public park. A loose cannon. He had to do what was best for the people, at the time. They wouldn't see it like that. The hype would be increased by the fact that he was the Commissioner's son. That would raise questions. The NYPD would support an officer in this situation. When he acted as he thought he should- correctly. However they would wonder if the law would go easy on him because of who he was. Anyone who knew Frank themselves knew he was better than that. He was fair and didn't let his judgement get clouded. He always followed protocol- even when family were involved.

He said that Renzulli said he could give his statement to the investigation team when he had been cleared by the doctor. Not considering the crime scene the best place to do, they picked the 12th precinct instead. She waited. Thinking it best if he went in alone. She was so caught up in thinking about what had just transpired that she didn't notice a man follow Jamie inside. His brother. He had of course, said he would see what he could do, but he wouldn't be able to work the case. When Jamie returned about a half hour later, His face was white. All he said was 'they think it was suicide by cop, the gunman made the 911 call himself' He was referring to what Danny, not the investigation team, had told him. They weren't at liberty to discuss such matters, but his elder brother, who wasn't actually working the case, wasn't.

They got to the apartment. Jamie sat at the kitchen table. He wasn't ready to talk yet. He was still processing what had happened. Unsure how he was supposed to feel. However, having recently experienced the damage which could be caused by not talking, Caoimhe offered her ear from the start. Even if he wasn't ready yet; he would be eventually. It was later on. Grabbing an early night, Jamie had fallen into bed. His eyes closing as soon as his head touched the pillow. What had happened that day had a profound effect on him, physically as well as mentally. She awoke in the middle of the night. Jamie's legs were moving about, seemingly running, his hands were twitching. It took her sleepy mind a second to catch on to what he was doing. _Pulling a trigger_. He moaned. She waited until things settled down again. _It had been just a nightmare. _It wouldn't be wise to wake him. Eventually she drifted off, into a dreamless sleep. Despite what had happened, she couldn't help but feel calm. She was with Jamie. They would get through anything together.

Her alarm clock buzzed at 7am. She got up. Jamie was still asleep. When she got out of the shower 10 minutes later though she found he was alert, but not his usual self. He would be on desk- duty pending the investigation. He hated the thought of not being able to walk the beat. _To distract himself. _ Anyway, he was a man of action, not really cut out for answering phones. The day past in a blaze. She was first in. They hadn't really agreed that Jamie would stay that night, but she couldn't help but look forward to seeing him anyway. He arrived in looking windswept. Suddenly she found herself pressed against him; their lips locked. It was then that she noticed. His heart was racing.

'What's wrong?' she whispered.

'How did you know?' he wondered. She gestured to his chest. 'Intuition I suppose…' she murmured. Trying to seem wise. To be honest, she knew it wasn't her that was making his heart race like that. _If only!_ She snapped out of her daydream as he spoke.

'Sorry I'm back late- I paid a visit to the family of the guy I shot- Gavin.' When she came in the door and he hadn't been there she wasn't scared. Now though, was a whole different story. _What had he been thinking?_ She gazed at him her wide eyes filled with disapproval and disbelief. All the same, she couldn't stop herself wondering. 'And?'

He was a good man with things going well for him. His wife couldn't think of any reason why he had done what he did. 15 years sober, not of a violent nature. She thought the reason he carried a gun was because he did volunteer work in a sketchy neighbourhood. She was distraught. Jamie had apologised and left. He couldn't sit there and listen to her talk about her husband and how he had wrecked their lives. Wracked with guilt, he had come to see her. As well as that, his dad had wanted to see him. So, over he went during his lunch-break. They had a fairly one-sided conversation about how he mustn't blame himself; he had done the right thing. About how he was a decent cop.

There was nothing she could say to him, which he hadn't thought of already. He was in pieces over the whole thing. She embraced him, sighing. Then she took his hand and led him to the door. It almost broke her heart to do it. However, the thing was she couldn't help him, not now. Not with this. His brother had a better chance of convincing him the she did. At least they were cops. They knew what it was like. 'You need to talk to someone who understands this well than I do. Try Danny.' Despite very vocal protests, eventually he left. Clutched in his hand was a spare key. So he could come back. It wasn't like she wouldn't be awake to let him in. She just wanted him to feel as though he belonged. Right now, he certainly didn't feel like he belonged on the police force.

It was well after midnight when he arrived. He seemed startled to find her there, on the sofa. He was content to sit down next to her. Getting up and into bed seemed pointless. She remained still instead, sudden movements might startle him. He wrapped his arm around her and they remained like that until the grey light of dawn broke through the dense cloud which had shrouded the city since evening. The two of them got up the next morning and went about their day.

Danny went to see his brother that day. It was the day that he was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder after a visit to the department physiologist. It was mandatory- a 'preventative measure.' Their talk last night didn't seem to have much effect. They had unfinished business. As he watched him slam down the phone after taking a prank call, he felt a stab of guilt. _I couldn't protect him from this. _He felt empathy too; he'd gone through this himself. Then he knew what he had to do. _They wouldn't like it, but I hate seeing him like this. _ 'I have some personal days… What if I used them to do some digging? To see what drove this guy to the edge' Jamie gazed at him, eyes questioning the sincerity of his offer. 'Thank me later kid.' With that, he sauntered away. He was a man of action and there was no time like the present.

Danny picked up his phone and dialled his brother's number. His investigation had been fruitful. He had gotten the results of the autopsy from the coroner's office. They showed that the guy had broken his pinkie, punching someone. Trying to find out who he might have had beef with, he checked into his work. It turned out that this Gavin person and an old college roommate had a fight at a jobs fair a few days before he died. Resulting in a black eye. So, along he went to the venue. After speaking to one of the organisers he discovered that the guy was there. When they made eye contact he ran. Danny followed and spoke to him. He didn't give much away though. He wanted to let him, 'rest in peace', regardless of what the guy was convinced he had done. He hadn't wanted to open up though. Danny hadn't been able to arrest him- not being there 'in an official capacity.' When Jamie heard he'd let their only lead go, he was furious. He was frustrated. He was impatient.

The next day. _You could wait ages for a break in a case. After that though, things happened rapidly._ He called his brother on his cell phone. When he picked up, it was obvious he was trying very hard to keep the irritation out of his voice. _He despised desk duty and all that it entailed. _ He told him how one of the event organisers had contacted him, 2 minutes previously. Gavin's college roommate had turned up at the jobs fair again that morning. High, disorientated. He called Danny.

When Jamie heard the news he promised he would be inconspicuous, if he could only ride along to find out more. Getting out of work wasn't too tricky. Obviously he couldn't tell him why he was going, but he was a good cop, having a tough time. It didn't take much convincing. He was allowed the rest of the day and as much time as he wanted, off. So he could have some 'space.'_ Desperate times call for desperate measures, I suppose._ When they got into the job's fair, the building had been evacuated. Despite his elder brother's protests he accompanied him inside. There wasn't much he could do anyway. Once in, all there time was taken up watching the guy's every move. They tried to get him to talk. Everything happened instantaneously. When Jamie took a step forward, he drew a knife. He tried to stab himself and would've succeeded perfectly well. If Jamie hadn't tackled him. They called emergency services and he was brought to hospital.

Looking back, Jamie didn't feel too guilty about what he did in the _aftermath _of the shooting; neither in fact did his elder brother. When it was called for, he would bend the rules. That's why he went and spoke to his father after the incident at the job's fair. He suggested they could bring him up on disorderly conduct and possession of a weapon and get a search warrant. From experience, that would only happen if the judge on the case was in the right mood. They would only do that if the right person asked the judge. Their father said he would see what he could do. 'Not a word about this to the commissioner,' he murmured, his eyes twinkling, moustache twitching.

The officer working the case came to Danny after the warrant came through. Gavin and Brian had been roommates' freshman year of college. His roommates words, had led him to believe committing a crime had pushed him too far. So he started looking into cold cases from the '80s. The investigating detective had turned a blind eye of sorts to Danny's involvement in the case. He had wanted to know if in his searching, he'd come across anything involving a girl called Anna. He had. His roommate had been the recipient of his friend's suicide note. When the roommate was stable and was no longer sedated Danny and Jamie went to speak with him. Having pieced it together. They had been drunk, and driven. Knocking down a little girl, dragging her two blocks. The guilt had finally gotten to Gavin. He hadn't been able to go to prison, or even kill himself. So he had chosen Jamie instead.

The next Sunday, the family sat together, chatting and sharing stories. Jamie didn't join in. He would be back on the beat from next week. Then things would have fully returned to normal, his work life would not be so monotonous. For now, he was content to sit and relax. Other than that, things were going from strength. After their break up, things had seemed hopeless. _Kind of like after the shooting. _It was strange how that had brought them back together again. He was glad; that the weight of guilt he had felt had been a shared burden. _She might not be a cop, but she still understands. _He found her fingers under the table and they remained connected until the end of the meal. As peace and tranquillity reined over the Reagans. Caoimhe included. He wouldn't have it any other way.

**A/N: How was that? Did I go a bit nuts and sentimental in the last paragraph? I had some trouble writing this chapter. It was like I was going on a journey. I knew where I wanted to go but didn't have a clue how to get there. So, I got half-way through the first version of this story and scrapped it! I just felt I wasn't get the characters right. As Caoimhe is the only one I've invented I wanted to do Jamie, Danny, Linda and the others justice. I hope I managed to! I also tried my best to stick with the storyline of the episode 'front page news.' But I amended it where necessary to fit in with what I wanted to do. It might not match up **_**totally**_** but nobody is perfect. Also, I only left their break- up period as 3 days, because I'm not cruel and Jamie's not an idiot- he was just trying to give her space! Also I'd love to take the opportunity to thank you guys for reading and reviewing! Please take the time to let me know what you think of this chapter. Your opinions mean so much!**


	13. Little things, big moments

'Hey, how's it going?' Things had been going well, up until that morning. _Now I'm not sure… '_

'Alright.' That was it. Nothing else. That in itself was strange. She was a total chatterbox, even if they had spent the whole of the previous day together. They always found something to talk about. As they moved down the hall, took the stairs and made it out onto the street. The noise of the city, even today was enough to make conversation unnecessary. He didn't press her. He was too busy trying to figure out what was wrong. She wouldn't tell him if he asked.

By the time they switched off the radio and got out of the car, he was still stumped. _Maybe I don't know her as well as I thought I did? _Why did he always make it about himself? She must be going through something, something difficult. She wouldn't do this on purpose. She probably didn't even realise she was shutting him out. He was running over this in his mind, it occurred to him. _She hadn't reached for his hand as they moved up the driveway. As she always did. _ It wasn't that she was a huge fan of public displays of affection. It was more of a 'just so you know I'm here for you thing.' Then something else occurred to him. _Had he become complacent? Just, expecting_ _her to do these things? It was a big deal, but it also wasn't. _Bearing this in mind, he made of point of offering her his hand.

Jamie was wrong. Caoimhe was aware of how this looked. What she was doing as she made a point of moving away from Jamie, stuffing her hands in her pockets. He always held her left hand. The was a reason for that. Her right side was stronger; therefore if someone held her right hand, her balance was better. So he always held her left. She wanted him to know she was his hand by choice; not because she had to; because she was too weak to do otherwise. If he held her hand now, he would see everything. How her fingers were shaking, as well as the more obvious things. It would go to pieces then. _So it was better this way. To let him think she didn't care. To give him a choice._

He was slightly stunned. Trying not to let it show, he forced himself to keeping moving forward. He wasn't annoyed, rather filled with a burning curiosity. _What was wrong? _He didn't wish to confront her. That usually involved taking someone's hand, turning them to face you and staring deep into their eyes. Given her reaction to his earlier physical contact, he was worried it would make her retreat further into herself. They were late. Dinner was almost ready. Sean protested he couldn't work on an empty stomach. 'It's a good thing, you weren't supposed to be cooking today, you have enough trouble handling culinary utensils as it is, Caoimhe. What happened to your finger?'

'Had a bit of an accident...' She had been tapping her fingers on the table, nervously. She now returned them to her lap, which must have been fascinating. So much so, she was gazing fixatedly upon it. From that angle, you couldn't see the colour that had appeared it her cheeks. She was pretty embarrassed though. He could tell from the tone of her voice, even though it was barely audible. Sensing this, they let it go. Jamie was kicking himself. _How could he not have known she was hurt? _ It was a fairly obvious Band-Aid; covered with cartoon characters.

It was a quiet meal. Besides the scrape of cutlery, for once there wasn't much conversation, except for 'Pass the salt please.' For some reason, Sean was still in his wheelchair. _Maybe something's up with him too _Jamie supposed. He had come on in leaps and bounds recently. As had Jamie and Caoimhe's relationship. _Go figure. _The odd setback was expected though. Linda had told him just now, that he was getting better at home. Just that morning, he'd been up early, dressed, in the car; ready for Mass. Jack had helped him out. 'Come on, we've lots to do.' She let him stay in his wheelchair until they were in the living room. He was still pretty shy. With his new braces and what his dad described as 'a metal frame, with a seat, on wheels, he was standing.

'Are we ready to start?' He smiled eager to please as always.

'Um Caoimhe, you know your finger, how did you hurt it? Did you fall? There was a strange light, in his eyes. Eager. As though trying to make a connection.

'No, I didn't.' She didn't expand. She didn't need to. His face fell. He silently focused on the task ahead. Sliding forward, he pushed upwards. His arms were taking all his weight. _That was strange. _His face was screwed up, he was in pain. After 2 failed attempts, he collapsed. Caoimhe called a halt to things. _What was going on? He was a pro at transitions. They had spent weeks at them. They were still practicing it now, even though he could do them and stand for 20 seconds. Beautifully. _

When he was sitting up properly again she questioned him. 'What's up Sean?' He wasn't giving anything away. His leg was jumping of its own accord. Something set off by nerves. She reached out, pressing down to hold it steady. He went berserk. In a way she had never seen before and never wanted to see again. Suspecting something, she gently rolled up his left trouser leg. Upon inspection his right leg appeared marginally better. His knee had a plaster on this one. His lower thigh down as far as his ankles was covered in angry purple bruises.

'Was it you that fell?' He nodded meekly.

'When?' It all came out then. Last night he'd finished his nightly home therapy session. Linda had headed to the kitchen to make dinner. He had planned to surprise her. He was going to try to walk to the kitchen. He got up from the chair fine, stood for about ten seconds. A door slammed in the wind. Somehow, thinking it was a person coming to check on him. He'd been startled. Lost composure. He tried to start moving while regaining his balance. He straight down, before he could even take one step. It would have been fine. He would have emerged unscathed. Even as he fell he tried to stay upright. Keeping his arms on the handles of the frame, rather than using them to protect his head. This had backfired though. He'd brought it down upon himself. The two back wheels had ended up in the air. Spinning. Jack found him like that, seconds later. He had come to see if he had wanted to watch the soccer game on TV. They were both in too much of a daze to do anything in the beginning. Then, just before he'd opened his mouth to call their mom, he had stopped him.

She had heard enough. Before he could say another word or try to stop her. 'Linda, Danny!' They dashed next door. _What _amazing _thing was he going to do next?_ That idea ended abruptly. 'He fell,' she stated. When they saw his injuries, Danny's mouth opened and closed like a horrified goldfish. Linda didn't look at her. She just knelt before her son and asked 'where does it hurt, baby?' Tears welled up in his eyes. Her thoughts were on his head. _Did he hit it when he went down?_ He was trying not to cry. His mother shushed him, too afraid to hug him until he had been checked over. He was trying to speak 'Daddy…' Danny was still in shock.

'I know kiddo, it's all gonna be alright. Don't you worry.' His voice was gentle, level filled with false cheer. Then other people started coming in. Jack had run in. 'Dad, it's not her fault. It's mine!' Danny gazed after him, helplessly. He was afraid to leave his youngest child. Caoimhe went after him, pushing through the people who had gathered by the living room door. She found him on upstairs landing. 'I'm sorry. I really am. They didn't look that bad, not even this morning. He said he would be fine. So I got him a Band-Aid and I helped him. He didn't need any more help than usual. Not really. I just had to do more- he didn't want mom to see his leg. He tried not to let me see he was in pain. I could, but he wouldn't let me tell anyone. He made me swear! I didn't want to!'

'I know that. Your mom and Dad knows that. You're brother on the other hand, knows you're a man of your word. Just do me a favour, next time, don't take no for an answer. Even if someone thinks at the time, that you're doing the wrong thing, the reasons behind doing so are good. You do it because you love them. They'll figure that out eventually. He looked better having gotten it off his chest. _ Maybe the whole 'up early' thing was because he wanted to go to Church. To confess, for lying to his parents._ It was a big thing to have on his shoulders.

'Caoimhe, the way he looked at me. He really didn't want me to tell!' She nodded. She understood. The pain of falling. Just falling. Not falling while running in a soccer game or whatever had been much more than the physical pain. Of course he hadn't wanted to tell anyone. He wasn't used to being like this. Now he couldn't just trip and pick himself up directly afterwards. 'Will you check in on him for me? Make sure he's okay? He couldn't face them. He was feeling guilty.

She looked in and found that he was still being examined. She wouldn't go in. Now wasn't the time. He had to tell his parents what happened himself. Learn to stand on his own two feet. Instead, she felt that there was someone else she needed to talk to.

Jamie was sitting at the dinner table, waiting for the all clear. However he was more than willing to follow her into the kitchen so they could talk. Making a stab at conversation he exclaimed 'That was terrible, the fall, just now when he's made so much progress. What happened?' So she told him. Anything to postpone what she was about to say. 'That's horrible, that you had to find out about it like that. He wouldn't admit it to anyone.'

She shrugged. _He was right._ 'The thing is though… It showed me so home truths. To be honest... I haven't been totally honest with you… I'm sorry you had to see Danny spot something that I didn't have the courage to show you. I'm sorry I've been so distant. It's just…' Trailing off she turned away. Wincing slightly as she pulled the Band-Aid off. The pain only added to the sting of the cut itself. Jamie advanced and peered over her shoulder. On her hand were two marks. _They looked like small teeth marks. Had she been bitten?_

'What happened?' His voice was both confused and concerned in a sweet way.

'I told you… An accident.' It was then he knew. Those cuts had been made by a razor blade.' Seeing the look in his eyes she reaffirmed it. 'My hand slipped- that's all.'

'But you weren't aiming for... your wrists, say?'

'What?' Hell no! I swear... I'm just totally clumps…'' _Oh thank God! _ As he hugged her, he buried his face in her hair, murmuring 'For a second there I thought...' She patted him on the back. _I know. _He didn't mean it in a bad way. He was just looking out for her.

'How come you didn't just tell me?'

'It's one of those things I should have been able to handle on my own… Not that it would have happened anyway. Not to a normal person. I didn't want you to think you had to look after me 24/7. You deserve more than that. You shouldn't have to worry about stupid things like that.'

'Well you deserve someone who looks after you... I didn't even notice your finger.

'I didn't show you', she responded. 'Don't put yourself down. You were worried about me; I could see it in your eyes. And I could see how much you were hurting when I pushed you away, for no reason.'

'I should have known though' he decided.

'I don't want to fight with you over this. Let's just leave it.'

She would have loved to stay in his arms, without having to say a word. There was something else she had to do first though. She found Linda, standing in the living room doorway, watching over her son. He and his Dad were talking.

When she saw her she glanced up. 'Can I talk to you? He'll be okay; it'll only take a minute.' They sat down at the kitchen table. From her spot, Linda could still see into the living room. She was gazing blankly straight ahead. 'So, I suppose you think I'm a terrible parent? For not noticing that my own child was injured. For leaving he unsupervised long enough that he would get injured even. Or that my eldest was lying to me.'

Caoimhe shook her head. 'Firstly he's been injured since the day of the accident. Secondly, kids will go to extreme lengths to hide things from their parents. I know that. Do you think I told my mom every time I fell? It was embarrassing; she wouldn't have let me out of her sight if I had. Thirdly, I don't judge people if I haven't been through what they have. I'm not a parent, not least one who has been through everything you have.'

After backing up Danny as he lectured his son on the importance of progressing slowly, as to avoid setbacks from over-doing things, they left. As they drove down the street, Jamie knew the time had come. To tell all. For now though, they drove down the street in compensable silence. He wouldn't stay with her tonight. He had to be alone. To think. _I mean,_ _after I've told her I might just have to get used to it._ When he told her, she seemed to except it, no problem. He savoured that one last time. _After tomorrow there was no going back..._

**A/N: I ended and started with you guys in the dark. Was it too dramatic? Not sticking enough to what this story was meant to be about? Let me know. Thanks a million for all your support. This was the 'extra' chapter that I decided to put in. The part at the end was another idea. I felt it was necessary to give its own chapter. So that's what the next one will be about. **


	14. Honesty is the Best Policy

'Hey, how's it going?' Things had been going well, up until that morning. _Now I'm not sure… '_

'Alright.' That was it. Nothing else. That in itself was strange. She was a total chatterbox, even if they had spent the whole of the previous day together. They always found something to talk about. As they moved down the hall, took the stairs and made it out onto the street. The noise of the city, even today was enough to make conversation unnecessary. He didn't press her. He was too busy trying to figure out what was wrong. She wouldn't tell him if he asked.

By the time they switched off the radio and got out of the car, he was still stumped. _Maybe I don't know her as well as I thought I did? _Why did he always make it about himself? She must be going through something, something difficult. She wouldn't do this on purpose. She probably didn't even realise she was shutting him out. He was running over this in his mind, it occurred to him. _She hadn't reached for his hand as they moved up the driveway. As she always did. _ It wasn't that she was a huge fan of public displays of affection. It was more of a 'just so you know I'm here for you thing.' Then something else occurred to him. _Had he become complacent? Just, expecting_ _her to do these things? It was a big deal, but it also wasn't. _Bearing this in mind, he made of point of offering her his hand.

Jamie was wrong. Caoimhe was aware of how this looked. What she was doing as she made a point of moving away from Jamie, stuffing her hands in her pockets. He always held her left hand. The was a reason for that. Her right side was stronger; therefore if someone held her right hand, her balance was better. So he always held her left. She wanted him to know she was his hand by choice; not because she had to; because she was too weak to do otherwise. If he held her hand now, he would see everything. How her fingers were shaking, as well as the more obvious things. It would go to pieces then. _So it was better this way. To let him think she didn't care. To give him a choice._

He was slightly stunned. Trying not to let it show, he forced himself to keeping moving forward. He wasn't annoyed, rather filled with a burning curiosity. _What was wrong? _He didn't wish to confront her. That usually involved taking someone's hand, turning them to face you and staring deep into their eyes. Given her reaction to his earlier physical contact, he was worried it would make her retreat further into herself. They were late. Dinner was almost ready. Sean protested he couldn't work on an empty stomach. 'It's a good thing, you weren't supposed to be cooking today, you have enough trouble handling culinary utensils as it is, Caoimhe. What happened to your finger?'

'Had a bit of an accident...' She had been tapping her fingers on the table, nervously. She now returned them to her lap, which must have been fascinating. So much so, she was gazing fixatedly upon it. From that angle, you couldn't see the colour that had appeared it her cheeks. She was pretty embarrassed though. He could tell from the tone of her voice, even though it was barely audible. Sensing this, they let it go. Jamie was kicking himself. _How could he not have known she was hurt? _ It was a fairly obvious Band-Aid; covered with cartoon characters.

It was a quiet meal. Besides the scrape of cutlery, for once there wasn't much conversation, except for 'Pass the salt please.' For some reason, Sean was still in his wheelchair. _Maybe something's up with him too _Jamie supposed. He had come on in leaps and bounds recently. As had Jamie and Caoimhe's relationship. _Go figure. _The odd setback was expected though. Linda had told him just now, that he was getting better at home. Just that morning, he'd been up early, dressed, in the car; ready for Mass. Jack had helped him out. 'Come on, we've lots to do.' She let him stay in his wheelchair until they were in the living room. He was still pretty shy. With his new braces and what his dad described as 'a metal frame, with a seat, on wheels, he was standing.

'Are we ready to start?' He smiled eager to please as always.

'Um Caoimhe, you know your finger, how did you hurt it? Did you fall? There was a strange light, in his eyes. Eager. As though trying to make a connection.

'No, I didn't.' She didn't expand. She didn't need to. His face fell. He silently focused on the task ahead. Sliding forward, he pushed upwards. His arms were taking all his weight. _That was strange. _His face was screwed up, he was in pain. After 2 failed attempts, he collapsed. Caoimhe called a halt to things. _What was going on? He was a pro at transitions. They had spent weeks at them. They were still practicing it now, even though he could do them and stand for 20 seconds. Beautifully. _

When he was sitting up properly again she questioned him. 'What's up Sean?' He wasn't giving anything away. His leg was jumping of its own accord. Something set off by nerves. She reached out, pressing down to hold it steady. He went berserk. In a way she had never seen before and never wanted to see again. Suspecting something, she gently rolled up his left trouser leg. Upon inspection his right leg appeared marginally better. His knee had a plaster on this one. His lower thigh down as far as his ankles was covered in angry purple bruises.

'Was it you that fell?' He nodded meekly.

'When?' It all came out then. Last night he'd finished his nightly home therapy session. Linda had headed to the kitchen to make dinner. He had planned to surprise her. He was going to try to walk to the kitchen. He got up from the chair fine, stood for about ten seconds. A door slammed in the wind. Somehow, thinking it was a person coming to check on him. He'd been startled. Lost composure. He tried to start moving while regaining his balance. He straight down, before he could even take one step. It would have been fine. He would have emerged unscathed. Even as he fell he tried to stay upright. Keeping his arms on the handles of the frame, rather than using them to protect his head. This had backfired though. He'd brought it down upon himself. The two back wheels had ended up in the air. Spinning. Jack found him like that, seconds later. He had come to see if he had wanted to watch the soccer game on TV. They were both in too much of a daze to do anything in the beginning. Then, just before he'd opened his mouth to call their mom, he had stopped him.

She had heard enough. Before he could say another word or try to stop her. 'Linda, Danny!' They dashed next door. _What _amazing _thing was he going to do next?_ That idea ended abruptly. 'He fell,' she stated. When they saw his injuries, Danny's mouth opened and closed like a horrified goldfish. Linda didn't look at her. She just knelt before her son and asked 'where does it hurt, baby?' Tears welled up in his eyes. Her thoughts were on his head. _Did he hit it when he went down?_ He was trying not to cry. His mother shushed him, too afraid to hug him until he had been checked over. He was trying to speak 'Daddy…' Danny was still in shock.

'I know kiddo, it's all gonna be alright. Don't you worry.' His voice was gentle, level filled with false cheer. Then other people started coming in. Jack had run in. 'Dad, it's not her fault. It's mine!' Danny gazed after him, helplessly. He was afraid to leave his youngest child. Caoimhe went after him, pushing through the people who had gathered by the living room door. She found him on upstairs landing. 'I'm sorry. I really am. They didn't look that bad, not even this morning. He said he would be fine. So I got him a Band-Aid and I helped him. He didn't need any more help than usual. Not really. I just had to do more- he didn't want mom to see his leg. He tried not to let me see he was in pain. I could, but he wouldn't let me tell anyone. He made me swear! I didn't want to!'

'I know that. Your mom and Dad knows that. You're brother on the other hand, knows you're a man of your word. Just do me a favour, next time, don't take no for an answer. Even if someone thinks at the time, that you're doing the wrong thing, the reasons behind doing so are good. You do it because you love them. They'll figure that out eventually. He looked better having gotten it off his chest. _ Maybe the whole 'up early' thing was because he wanted to go to Church. To confess, for lying to his parents._ It was a big thing to have on his shoulders.

'Caoimhe, the way he looked at me. He really didn't want me to tell!' She nodded. She understood. The pain of falling. Just falling. Not falling while running in a soccer game or whatever had been much more than the physical pain. Of course he hadn't wanted to tell anyone. He wasn't used to being like this. Now he couldn't just trip and pick himself up directly afterwards. 'Will you check in on him for me? Make sure he's okay? He couldn't face them. He was feeling guilty.

She looked in and found that he was still being examined. She wouldn't go in. Now wasn't the time. He had to tell his parents what happened himself. Learn to stand on his own two feet. Instead, she felt that there was someone else she needed to talk to.

Jamie was sitting at the dinner table, waiting for the all clear. However he was more than willing to follow her into the kitchen so they could talk. Making a stab at conversation he exclaimed 'That was terrible, the fall, just now when he's made so much progress. What happened?' So she told him. Anything to postpone what she was about to say. 'That's horrible, that you had to find out about it like that. He wouldn't admit it to anyone.'

She shrugged. _He was right._ 'The thing is though… It showed me so home truths. To be honest... I haven't been totally honest with you… I'm sorry you had to see Danny spot something that I didn't have the courage to show you. I'm sorry I've been so distant. It's just…' Trailing off she turned away. Wincing slightly as she pulled the Band-Aid off. The pain only added to the sting of the cut itself. Jamie advanced and peered over her shoulder. On her hand were two marks. _They looked like small teeth marks. Had she been bitten?_

'What happened?' His voice was both confused and concerned in a sweet way.

'I told you… An accident.' It was then he knew. Those cuts had been made by a razor blade.' Seeing the look in his eyes she reaffirmed it. 'My hand slipped- that's all.'

'But you weren't aiming for... your wrists, say?'

'What?' Hell no! I swear... I'm just totally clumpsy…'' _Oh thank God! _ As he hugged her, he buried his face in her hair, murmuring 'For a second there I thought...' She patted him on the back. _I know. _He didn't mean it in a bad way. He was just looking out for her.

'How come you didn't just tell me?'

'It's one of those things I should have been able to handle on my own… Not that it would have happened anyway. Not to a normal person. I didn't want you to think you had to look after me 24/7. You deserve more than that. You shouldn't have to worry about stupid things like that.'

'Well you deserve someone who looks after you... I didn't even notice your finger.

'I didn't show you', she responded. 'Don't put yourself down. You were worried about me; I could see it in your eyes. And I could see how much you were hurting when I pushed you away, for no reason.'

'I should have known though' he decided.

'I don't want to fight with you over this. Let's just leave it.'

She would have loved to stay in his arms, without having to say a word. There was something else she had to do first though. She found Linda, standing in the living room doorway, watching over her son. He and his Dad were talking.

When she saw her she glanced up. 'Can I talk to you? He'll be okay; it'll only take a minute.' They sat down at the kitchen table. From her spot, Linda could still see into the living room. She was gazing blankly straight ahead. 'So, I suppose you think I'm a terrible parent? For not noticing that my own child was injured. For leaving he unsupervised long enough that he would get injured even. Or that my eldest was lying to me.'

Caoimhe shook her head. 'Firstly he's been injured since the day of the accident. Secondly, kids will go to extreme lengths to hide things from their parents. I know that. Do you think I told my mom every time I fell? It was embarrassing; she wouldn't have let me out of her sight if I had. Thirdly, I don't judge people if I haven't been through what they have. I'm not a parent, not least one who has been through everything you have.'

After backing up Danny as he lectured his son on the importance of progressing slowly, as to avoid setbacks from over-doing things, they left. As they drove down the street, Jamie knew the time had come. To tell all. For now though, they drove down the street in compensable silence. He wouldn't stay with her tonight. He had to be alone. To think. _I mean,_ _after I've told her I might just have to get used to it._ When he told her, she seemed to except it, no problem. He savoured that one last time. _After tomorrow there was no going back..._

**A/N: I ended and started with you guys in the dark. Was it too dramatic? Not sticking enough to what this story was meant to be about? Let me know. Thanks a million for all your support. This was the 'extra' chapter that I decided to put in. The part at the end was another idea. I felt it was necessary to give its own chapter. So that's what the next one will be about. **


	15. Different Times

**A/N: After reading the last few chapters of 'Under and Alone by CAT217- my most frequent reviewer. I knew I had to write this chapter. Read before you write I say! It starts with the early morning ramblings of a conflicted man. Hope I did it justice. Also before you read think back to chapter 3…**

Caoimhe felt herself jolt awake. Sleepily, she glanced around, unsure what had woken her. Then she heard it. A knock at her door. Her alarm clock read 6.15am. _It was still dark. Why was there a person at her door? So much for security! When she got her hands on the doorman…. _She got up, made her way to the door, on the way she accidently stubbed her toe on the armchair. She vented her anger, swearing. _Whoever it was they'd better have a good reason!_

Standing on one foot, as well as on her tippy toes, she peered through the peephole. Her reaction would have been comical, if but for the circumstances. Eyes popping open, all hopes of going back to bed forgotten. Stumbling backwards in a haste wrought by her visitor and their expression. Fumbling slight she undid the latch to reveal a slightly dishevelled and agitated Jamie. Her mind immediately raced through the worst scenarios. 'Is everything okay?' She kept her voice calm and low, trying not to wake the neighbours. He nodded. Then it occurred to her how odd this looked. Rather than standing in the chilly hallway in her PJ's she invited him inside.

'I… just wanted to see you.' He was on edge, stumbling over his words. It seemed he was now realising how out of the ordinary this was. He seemed to be regretting coming. He stepped inside slowly. Just far enough that she could close the door fully. Preferring to remain standing than to sit down. She noticed the way his eyes were moving. They would roam the room, as though searching for escape methods, before returning to settle on the door. His eyes were wild, pupils dilated. After a moment, he steeled himself. _He had to do this. _He sat down on the edge of the sofa, ready to leap up at a moment's notice. Guest settled in, she followed suit she wriggling closer to him for warmth. 'You know, I did ask if you wanted to stay the night. Honestly I would have preferred a late night spent talking than an early morning wake-up call, spent in silence.' Her voice was light and fairly chirpy for the ungodly hour that it was. She was a morning person. Jamie, on the other hand wasn't. He was used to getting up early but unlike Danny hadn't had it drilled into him by months of military service. Despite his attempt to keep things normal he found himself shifting farther away from Caoimhe. It felt wrong to be sitting this close to her when they were so different. Not that she was aware of it now. Of course, she soon would be.

As the cold light of dawn seeped into the apartment through the gap in the blinds the cracks in what he had originally thought a decent plan, were multiplying by the second. _It was only a matter of time before it fell apart. _ _What had he been thinking coming here? This wasn't her fault. He was a just a guy. A guy who had known for the last 2 months that he'd made an error in his original judgement. A mistake. A mistake that would be very difficult to put right without raising eyebrows._

_But then again, was it that? At the time, he had considered it a way of buying himself more time. Time to vet her; make sure that everyone fit together. His family were his number one priority. He wouldn't hesitate to choose them over the wrong girl. Hadn't he done it once before, not looking back?_

The skeletons in his closet, _could they be called that? No, make that it. This was the only one. The only one big enough to keep him awake at night. The only one, though it lay in his past, to hold his future so precariously in his palm. One wrong move and it would all be shot to hell._ _It hadn't been that long ago..._

_Well, it was long enough for you to finish the case, finish training, and get a couple of new partners and a girlfriend who swept all traces of doubt from your mind._

She'd stuck by him when times were tough in his family. Never batting an eyelid. Never clamouring for his attention. Never suggesting that he spend some time away from his family, just the two of them._ Not like some people I could mention!_

_Let sleeping dogs lie! It's over now! I'm trying to move on. He couldn't move on, not with the worry of someone spilling the beans hanging over me! That had been one of the reasons he had been reluctant to introduce Caoimhe to his friends at first. In case they accidentally let it slip._

_Well, as I was saying the skeleton in my closet is preventing me from, let's say going out and buying a new shirt. He needed a new help him look like the new man she made him feel like…_

_What was all this gibberish about shirts? He wore the uniform that was enough for now. He didn't need to try and reinvent himself. She didn't have a problem with who he was. _That was one of the reasons things happened like they did. She told him he had changed, not only since his brother had died and he'd taken it upon himself to bring down the people who brought about his murder. But since he'd joined the police force. Then their relationship changed. Looking back, he had continued as normal. On auto-pilot driven by a desire to right a wrong. After the case was over, he didn't look back. He kept working, fighting crime. For the last 2 years the people of 12th precinct had been one of his top priorities. Life went on and his family kept going too, despite the heavy blow they had suffered which continued to influence them to this day. Only as he lay in his room in his apartment in the Bronx, did he wonder if made the right choice. Did the right thing. He wondered what life would be like if he got up in the morning and apologised. Grovelled even. By morning though, that kernel of doubt would be pushed to the back of his mind once more. Put aside in favour of things of greater importance. For everyone's sake, not just his own. In the time of Joe's death, he had learned the importance of family. If a girl couldn't grow to love his family, accept them, as they accepted her, then Jamie knew the position he would gladly find himself in again. _This time of his own doing._

That was fine by him, it was definite, solid. Caoimhe though was a different story. He wondered what to do. His gut told him that she was the girl for him. _In hindsight hadn't that been the case last time too? _ _Except, _a little voice in his head persisted,_ this time is different and you know it! _ Then, he found himself engulfed by a sense of dread. _Okay, so let's say she is the genuine 'one'? What do I do? _ This time the little voice in his head only chortled. _That settles it; I've gone stark- raving mad..._

_You know what to do, _the little voice instructed. _Oh God! Oh No! Not that! Hadn't he tried it last time and look how it ended up? _ He might be a police officer these days, but there was a lawyer burned inside him, not far below the surface. _That'll show him, what do you say that?_

_It's a different time. Nothing further, I rest my case._ One sentence that was all it took to set his head spinning. It wasn't the power of that statement; after all it was only words, only talk. It was the realisation that he was right. His conscience was right. He had done the right thing in coming here. The thing by himself _and_ Caoimhe. He wasn't just some naïve lawyer anymore fresh out of Harvard. He was an NYPD cop. An older and wiser one at that. One who had seen things, done things and come back alive, his sense of self, reaffirmed. He came back, knowing who he was. Now, he was just working out what he wanted from life.

Another thing he knew was the value of honesty and forgiveness, in a relationship, any relationship. He done something not totally decent, but he wasn't going to let it define him. Although, come to think of it, tonight their relationship would be made or broken. Their entire relationship depended on tonight, or this morning as it was. When he thought of Caoimhe, that memory would be, whether he wanted it to or not, be based on tonight. _If I actually managed to do what I came here for. If not, then I'm a coward who shouldn't be with her._

He took a deep breath. His voice was just above a whisper, steady. 'There's something I want to tell you. In fact, I've been meaning to for a while, just never could find the right moment.' She awaited his reply, hardly daring to breathe. Afraid to ruin, what she thought would be a perfect moment she would want to hold in her heart forever.

'I want you to know, I had a girlfriend.' Whatever spell she had been under was instantly broken. She wasn't sure where this was going but she didn't like the sound of it.

Trying to break the almost palpable tension, she laughed. 'For a second there I thought you were going to tell you had a boyfriend! Not that that wouldn't be okay, just unexpected. We all have a past Jamie. I mean we're not 15 anymore, it's to be expected; in fact I think I'd worry if you'd never been a relationship before.' Then, it hit her, just how strange she sounded. Trying to keep things cheery when the mood in the apartment was anything but.

'Er.. Right. Sorry! I'll let you continue.' She looked guilty down at her lap. She couldn't help it. She didn't mind silences; it was just the tense ones laced with unspoken words that filled her with anxiety. Her immediate solution was to make light of things, joke around. Usually it helped the person say what it was they wanted to say. Not this time though. This time, Jamie had been ready to speak. She just didn't really want to hear it. Jamie held it together though. There was only a moment of silence, before he went on, as though he had not been interrupted.

'See, the thing was, we were rather serious. Engaged serious, in fact.' When Caoimhe heard this, she was numb. There wasn't anything Jamie could do to comfort her. It was him who caused the pain. The pain he could see in her eyes now at not being told of a girl who, at some stage, must have been a part of his life. A huge part, actually, otherwise they wouldn't have taken that step. With her speechless, it was Jamie's turn to fill the silence. He told her everything. How they met, what she was like, how they fell in love, why it all felt apart. When he was finished, which felt like hours later she spoke. 'Can you go, please? I can't be with you right now… I hope you can understand why.'

Her voice showed no hint of anger, resentment, envy or sadness. Just resolve. He rose and moved across the room, to leave. 'I want you to know, I'm truly sorry for not telling you earlier. You deserved better than that.' There was a pause.

'Wait, just a minute!'

He turned to watch her. She stumbled slightly in her haste, before dropping to her knees, scrabbling for something. He wasn't going anywhere though. He continued to stare. Having located what she had been searching for, after a momentary interlude, she was now scribbling frantically, like a woman possessed. Task completed, she pulled herself upright and thrust a piece of paper at him. 'Meet me there, in 36 hours- we'll talk then.'

That was his cue to go, so he left. When the door had swung closed behind him, he trudged back down the corridor. _It was still early, but not that early that he couldn't head into work. _After putting a considerable distance between himself and Caoimhe, as she had requested. He lurched to a halt, before opening the slip of paper. Her hands must have shaken while she wrote it, because it was difficult to make out. He squinted, made a mental note before moving on.

As soon as he left, Caoimhe sank to the floor. Her back against the door, with her head between her knees, taking measured breaths. _She had done the right thing. _Been totally civilised. She had even been able to bear in mind the affect that long- term separation after a fight, had had on their relationship on other occasions. So she had decided to meet him again. 36 hours gave her enough time to regain her composure and prepare. The address she had given him was somewhere they had never been before. It held no memories for them. It was a pleasant establishment; she had brought a friend there just last week for her birthday. It was the first place that came to mind. She'd been there before, so would be more comfortable. _On the other hand, if Jamie wasn't then, it served him right, for putting them in this position._ She'd liked the experience the first time round so much that she had noted the closing time. They were opening late. Perfect for a meeting after work. The thing about meeting in a coffee shop was that it involved much less commitment than a 3 course dinner and a bottle of wine in an upper-class place with mood lighting.

When she decided what she wanted to say and do, then she could order a hot drink-in a take-away cup-, tell him and be out of there in less than 10 minutes. _If one of the things she wanted to do was throw the drink in his face, before storming out, so be it! _That was a surprisingly gratifying fantasy. She started to giggle. Then, before she started to sob instead, she got up. In the shower getting ready for work. She worked the tangles out of her hair allowing the steam to surround her as, for 5 minutes anyway, thoughts of her boyfriend were washed from her mind under the warm spray. A little while later, as she dressed in her favourite suit, she felt better, more in control. _She could handle it; she just needed time to figure out exactly how…_

Jamie walked into café, choosing a window seat. He ordered de-caf. _He was jittery enough as it was. _Glancing up from the perusing the menu, not that he was hungry, just restless, he spotted a lawyer he knew striding purposefully towards him. She sat down facing him. From the look in her eyes, Jamie could see what was coming. 'I hate to say I told you so, but we did. Just not in front of Caoimhe, as per your instructions. '

'Listen Erin, I don't need you judging me right now! I know what I did was wrong and I'm beating myself up about it enough as it is. I don't need your help, not with that anyway.'

'Okay, but what do you need my help with then? You don't need to justify yourself to me. Just her. Are you going to do that? Or have you done it already?'

'No, I told her the basics. She listened I left. We're meant to be meeting here tomorrow.'

'Good. Let me know it goes. Keep it simple, as short as possible. Also. Remember- you were together, she's your future- that's all that matters, not what you did in the past.' Listen, I've got to go. It's her you should be talking to, not me. Don't call her before you guys meet. She has to come to terms with this on her own. Without you. Chances are, if that goes well, then she might still want to be _with_ you afterwards.'

'Thanks Erin.'

'I'll see you on Sunday anyway, but if you need me before then, just call.' A couple of minutes, Jamie drained his cup and left, feeling more content about tomorrow. All he could now was wait. The power was in her hands.

Jamie entered the coffee shop again the next evening. He had been a bit unsure I he should arrive just before 7, on the dot, or just after. As the clock struck the hour, he stepped inside. He caught sight of her as soon as he was over the threshold. She looked calm and collected. She didn't bother to stand up; she knew he had seen her. 'Hello.' Her tone was clipped, her dress immaculate, giving nothing away.

She was direct, getting to the point with no unnecessary pleasantries. 'So, you were serious with a girl…. You lived with Sydney. She was almost Mrs Reagan. I've thought about it a lot since you told me. You were almost married. Not actually married. There's a difference, as you know. Almost being married entails a lot less baggage than actually being married does. It also displays a naivety and innocence. You didn't know that she would leave you when your brother died. You see the best in people. Players don't act like that. You hadn't seen that side in her. . Also I can see why, while becoming disengaged was a major thing in your life... Honestly though, it's less important than actually being married. While, it was important, I can see why it might be slightly overshadowed by your brother's death as well as your first 'real' assignment as an officer. What I don't understand though is why you didn't go back to her afterwards?'

'I didn't want to go back, not to mention the fact that she wouldn't have me… She saw a side of me she didn't like and I saw a side of her I didn't like. You of all people know how important to me family are to me. Sydney didn't understand that, didn't understand the significance of me trying to make her of a part of it. When push came to shove, she realised she didn't want to be a Reagan. I can respect that, it's a lot to ask of a girl. So, when the assignment was done I gave her space…'

_What he was saying made sense. _I mean blood was thicker than water and it wasn't like he put something worthless ahead of her. Like video games.

'It just took Joe's death and the aftermath to puts things in perspective. I knew I had to be on my own for a while. Find out who I was. As this new person. Without Sydney. As Officer Reagan.

'The important thing is to move on, but remember what you did and learn from it. Are you any better at judging people now?' What she really wondered was, had she passed inspection?

'I think, the good thing about having more experience, is the next time around, if there is one, you'll be less likely to make the same mistakes. Unless you're a complete idiot. That is, if someone is willing to give you a second chance. Since I think you're anything but a moron, I am willing to do that. Just don't make me regret it!' It seemed he had learnt something from his last relationship. Not to rush things being one of them. After clearing the air, they went their separate ways. Having arranged to meet up 2 nights later. This time for dinner.

It was Sunday again in no time. Everyone was taking it in turn to regale the others with tales of the week's endeavours. For the Reagan men, it meat cases, for next generation school. It had been a week that wasn't too busy, but still jam-packed enough. 'How'd the art show go last night?' Jamie asked.

'It was fantastic- as I expected.'

'Did you bring Ryan with you?'

'Yep. He thought it was the most beautiful thing he'd seen in a good while… He wasn't just talking about the paintings. Rather the artist, he and Kelly hit it off. So, he probably won't be seeing as much of me on this vacation as I planned….'

They were of course, talking about her ex. They had managed to remain friends. She'd known him since she was 2. When she moved, they lost touch. He had looked her up while in NY, as part of an opportunity to study abroad. He was a historian.

This discussion led to some confused glances from the others. 'Oh, he's just a guy I used to date. He's in town attending a conference.' The fact he was here, at the time he was, was pure coincidence.

'Must be a nice guy if you guys stayed in contact,' Nicki was, a firm believer that boys and girls could be just friends.

'Yep. You're right. Nice guy. Good looking, intellectual, who I have a lot in common with. Just because you can have stimulation philosophical discussions with a person doesn't mean its fate. It doesn't take away from the fact that he's highly strung, confrontation, over bearing, demanding guy who would drive you nuts if you hung out with him all day.

'Oh, he liked to take her to the movies and has decent taste in jewellery. For a guy,' Jamie chimed in. When they met up for dinner they had a discussion about their previous relations with the opposite sex. No more secrets.

'Okkay…' Danny was rather bewildered. Linda silenced him with a death glare. With that, he tried his best to be inconspicuous, so they could talk things over.

Both of them looked down, exchanging glances. Looking at her plate, Caoimhe mentioned. 'His favourite food was roast chicken. You take me to dinner because you know I like to talk to you, rather than sit in silence in the dark. I'm not a great cook either. Except for my famous Shepherd's Pie, which you tell is your favourite food. You don't expect me to be. Also you and I have totally different taste in movies, which you know. If I went to the movies with anyone it would my girlfriends. You also know I like to focus totally on the film, without distractions. He didn't know that. Also, you're not one to have to give me too many gifts. I don't need to flaunt money. Plus, I'll only expect a guy to give me something if he's making up for something, he didn't give or do in the first place. Like, enough of his time. Even when he was in NY. Then he went home. Obviously, we had enough trouble as it was. And no amount of wrapping paper clad boxes could hide that fact. The long distance relationship only added to the strain so we ended it before it got worse, parting on good terms.'

'If you do something wrong you apologise. As you have done. That's enough for me.' They were done talking about it. The past belonged in the past. Maybe the topic of exs might come up again if they ever got married and had to decide who to invite. Right now though, it wasn't worth a single thought.

**A/N: Your thoughts? Please let me know! For this chapter, I wrote blind! With no reviews! Shocking and sad, I know. The thing about writing blind is that you don't know if you're readers love it or hate it. Can't wait for the next chapter or are dreading it. I need to know! I am motivated and will continue, because I don't like to leave one unfinished- but I need some help…**


	16. Acknowledgement

**A/N: Some of the content of this chapter is derived from stories that I've read about Jamie's past- several actually!**

One Sunday afternoon, she spotted it too. It was Sean. Always, a patient and willing child, that day he was not in the mood for work. Linda's first thought was that he was getting bored, leading to a lack of motivation. 'Maybe I'm overreacting,' Linda had admitted that morning. Yet, she couldn't shake the inkling that something was wrong. Wanting to get a second opinion before jumping to conclusion she waited to see what Caoimhe thought.

Upon examination, it appeared she was correct. He was making a real effort. With no real results and this was distressing him. This was often what happened. Results revealed themselves slowly, over a period of months, even years. They had discussed it of course. He seemed able to accept that it was going to take time, before they saw any improvement. It was better than the original prognosis. He was doing better, his pain had been alleviated, and he was more mobile. His confidence had even improved.

'Why aren't they working?' He huffed as he pushed upwards.

'They'll work if you stop worrying about them. Just let them do their thing.' _Granted, that sounded a bit strange. He had to try so hard. These days his body did nothing of its own accord._

When he was quiet, all of his concentration on his lower half rather than his mouth, he got up easily. Sighing in exasperation, he flopped straight down again.

'Something's up.' This was a statement, not a question.

'Well, they shouldn't be like this!' His voice cracked. Why do I have to try so hard?'

'Everybody has to try hard at _something._ I mean not everyone can get an A+ on their math test. Congratulations on that by the way. Everyone has something they find tough. Everyone needs a challenge.'

'Well, why'd it get so hard? It wasn't always like this.'

'You hit your head, in the bike accident, remember?' _That was probably the wrong thing to say. His didn't remember anything. Not until the day he'd woken up._

'So I'm not sick? Miss Jennings said I was, when I came back to school. She said the other boys had to 'look out for me.' So they did, for a while. Then Carl wondered why I wasn't getting any better. He said I was like his uncle Mike. He was asleep for a couple of weeks too. Then he died. He said I was a vegetable, like him because I don't move. I couldn't sit with them for lunch, because his mom told him to always _eat _his vegetables.'

Caoimhe was caught somewhere between fury, dread, pity, empathy and a strong desire to laugh. _That was the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard! _Yet, it seemed Sean was in such a dark place right now that he took it to heart. _How was _she _supposed to convince him that he wasn't going to die, be eaten alive by this Carl kid, be wheelchair bound for the rest of his life or, worse spend his lunchtimes alone? _ She recovered herself.

'So, what did you do then?' she wondered. She had a sinking feeling herself. Dreading that she already knew the answer.

'I had lunch with Sam. Then it was recess so we went outside to play.' Her heart leapt in her chest when she heard the name 'Sam'. Then it sank to the floorboards when it hit her. Sam as in Samantha. Samantha as in his aid.

'So what did you play?'

'Basketball.' He looked at her as if to say, _what else?_ It was a wheelchair sport after all.

'Cool. Speaking of basketball, why don't you go outside and practice with Nicki and Jack? I bet they like to play with you.'

'No more therapy? Awesome!' She suppressed a smile at his reaction. _It was a lot of effort for him, which was, after weeks of putting on a brave face were finally taking their toll. They hadn't been making much 'physical' progress today anyway._ But she figured he had been through enough emotional probing for one day. The weekend was a time for fun. It didn't seem as though he was having much of that at school these days. She wheeled his chair over, watched him get down on his knees before wriggling into it. After a momentary struggle he finally managed the belt. She could have helped him, but he was well able. He spun as fast as he could, the tyres squeaking on the polished floor. Off to find his cousins.

She found him in the kitchen, convincing Nicki to go outside. Behind him, she caught her eye and they exchanged a nod. She knew something was up. With that, she rounded up Jack and out they went. Then Erin came. They had just been about to walk to the ice-cream parlour down the street for dessert. After a quick word she, Frank and Henry left, promising to bring back enough for them all. Now there was just the four of them in the house. Danny, Linda, herself and Jamie. Jamie, while having an excellent shot, hadn't been allowed to leave._ I need him for the moral support, if nothing else. _She wasn't sure what Danny's reaction to the news would be. Previous experience however suggested that he would hit the roof. After checking to make sure the back door was closed so they wouldn't be overheard she sat down.

The first words out of Linda's mouth were 'Did you notice it too? I only spotted it the other day. Looking back, I suppose he's been acting like that for a while, more on edge and withdrawn than before the fall anyway. I thought it might just be a passing thing. Another adjustment period, now I'm not so sure…' She understood. When you were anxious you saw things from another angle.

'I did. From what he's told me, I think it's got something to do with the people in his class at school. They've been calling him names. They wouldn't let him sit with them at lunch or play with them at recess.'

At first Danny didn't believe her. He was a detective. He liked cold, hard, undisputable evidence. So they called Sean away from the game for a while. He repeated what he had told Caoimhe. It made him pretty uncomfortable having to do so in front of an audience so as soon as he was he was finished they let him leave. Just in time. Danny freaked. He slammed his mug down on the table, spilling hot tea everywhere. His hands unable to keep still. He also seemed to have lost the ability to speak. Make no mistake though, when he recovered it soon afterwards no one else could get a word in. They had to sit and listen to him describe, rather graphically what he would do to those kids if he ever got his hands on them.

Linda was struck dumb too. Falling from her eyes were silent tears, associated with extreme grief. The kind of tears that came when you knew there wasn't very much you could do. 'I was so far off base I feel like I don't know him at all these days. Like he's a different boy.' The others rushed to assure her that it was natural to assume the best in any situation. No mother wanted to hear that their child was being teased and isolated.

'Linda, wasn't it you that noticed his change in behaviour? That has to count for something,' Caoimhe soothed. Drying her tears and nodding gratefully, she fell silent again. Jamie was pensive. He watched the reactions of his family. If they reacted like this, _how must Sean be feeling? _ He locked eyes with Caoimhe. _She was thinking along the same lines._

Danny was all for marching into the school, guns blazing and giving someone a piece of his mind. Linda was more for careful observation, for the time being anyway. Previous experience with Jack, told her that kids often sorted out their own problems, without outside intervention. What had gotten them into this mess would continue indefinitely. Hoping otherwise was like hoping that the sun wouldn't rise. It would actually make more sense to hope that you wouldn't be around to _see _it rise instead.

'What do you think?' Danny wondered. Caoimhe snapped back to the table. She was touched. _He actually cared what she thought and was admitting to it!_

'I can see where you're coming from, but I have to say I'm with Linda on this one.' Danny grudgingly agreed that perhaps they were right. They decided to leave things as they were for a while. Not to hope that the problem would just go away. Just enough time to come up with a decent plan. Going in there unprepared would seem rash, draw attention to Sean's current condition. The result might embarrass him and maybe make it worse. _This would require much thought._

The question she had asked Sean before his first day of school was 'Are you excited?' It had seemed appropriate. In situations like this people always chose to ask 'Are you nervous?' That just made think about it more. Obsess over it. Get into your head that the day was going to be a miserable failure. She wanted to remind him that the day was about seeing his friends again. Spending time together, just like old times. What she had purposely not acknowledged at the time was that things were never going to be the same again. She had _thought_ that if he had friends before the accident, if they were any good then they would stick by him. No matter what. Having never experienced this, she of course, thought wrong.

'Caoimhe?' Jamie's voice shocked her. _She had forgotten that he was there._ 'You're very quiet today.' Come to think of it, so was he. _But she hadn't noticed…_

'Are you upset... about, you know, Sean? You didn't say much... Do you need to talk about it?' He waited.

The others had talked about it. Vented, asked questions. Blamed other people. Blamed themselves. They had wanted to keep talking about it. They wanted Sean to be able to stay outside. Blissful happy, having momentarily forgotten that he would have to go back to school the next day. The two of them, sitting side by side felt rather out of place. After exchanging a glance, they managed to talk their way out of there.

'I should have known. I should have been prepared for this.' She was talking to herself more than Jamie, but he was attentive anyway.

'How could you have known? We've been over this. How could you have known this would have happened?'

'I should have though, she argued. I know better than most what children can be like.'

Jamie bit his lip feeling awkward. _He had forgotten, he often did but usually it didn't usually matter. It even made Caoimhe smile. Now though, she needed him to understand and he hadn't. He had forgotten a huge part of what made her who she was today. Getting caught up in the moment instead. _

'I'm sorry I should have realised… were you bullied at school?'

'I wouldn't exactly call it that…'

'Well, what do you call it then? Being teased? Picked on?' _Why was she always so diplomatic? Whatever name you put on it, it felt the same. He should know… _His voice was louder than it should have been. Biting back anger.

She seemed startled at his tone. Pausing to think, she started ticking things of on her fingers. 'Exclusion, shunning, being the subject of cruel jokes behind your back, name-calling, people commenting about you, being taken advantage of, you know, the usual stuff.' The 'you know' part had been a failed attempt to keep things calm, light, casual. _Little did she know._

'Sorry again… just the idea of someone hurting you… it, um…'

'Makes you want to hit something or should I say _someone_?' _That _would_ be a gratifying course of action._

'Trust me- I've tried – the only way I knew how. Not that it helped, my little outbursts asking plaintively for equal treatment just made them nearly wet themselves with laughter at my 'futile resistance.' I had some friends of course, they were either afraid to stand up to the people who did it, or took part themselves They weren't aware they were doing it of course-not like some people-it still hurt though. He sucked in his breath. Again, reminding her that he was there and actually listening, she wondered whether he had been bullied. It certainly seemed that way, if what he went on to say next was anything to go by.

'It went on for a while, getting more and more serious- physically, until Joe noticed. Needless to say he put a stop to it. He was in High School then. I was only in Elementary. But he looked out for me. Did that happen with you?'

'I couldn't stay and fight, so I ran away. To a certain extent, it followed me. I still carry the pain now. Everyone in my family knew. It was an unspoken thing of course. The elephant in the room, so to speak. My mom didn't want to admit that I wasn't okay- that she hadn't done a good job with my integration into society. I went to a main stream school, but intellect isn't everything. It would have broken my dad's heart; he was big into fair play and companionship. He didn't know what to do when it came to my disability in the first place. My big sister was a believer in independence, growing up we weren't as close as we are now. As for Tim, he was one of my most regular tormentors. Always used very basic names though. Nothing special but they still stick in my mind.'

Jamie accepted that. It wasn't his place to interfere with family 'Was it ever resolved?'

'Well that was primary school. We spent one year settling into secondary. Then we moved. Bad timing I suppose. At the time I didn't care. I just wanted to get away.' He didn't g force her into continuing. He just kept his eyes fixed on her so that she had a focal point. To pull her back into reality if retelling the story of her adolescence overwhelmed her. _It was Jamie; Jamie had been through this too. _'My first year of high school was spent adjusting, settling in. Then there was surgery, therapy finals busied myself with academia and got on with it. I was still isolated but it wasn't nearly as bad. A fresh start of sorts. The people were more mature. Then there was college. Oh college! Like-minded people. Not only did they know the law, they abided by it. Civil rights that is. I settled in and tried to put the past behind me. Then I was busy with work, and then there was you. So, no it never really was- I didn't like to talk about.'

As she said this she clamped her hand over mouth, realising she had done exactly what she didn't like doing. She was surprised to find it helped. They stayed like that for a while swapping stories. Glad to have found more common ground. Then she remembered; _Sean! That was the reason they were talking about this. They had to help him._

'Do you know, I never real had any problems with regard to my actual disability. Just because of how people treated me for it. Children are afraid of what they don't understand which means they lash out. The kids themselves understand it but not fully. They don't have the confidence to stand up for themselves. After years of abuse, some people start to think they're treated that way because they deserve. They're afraid that if they try to explain it will only make things worse. What are we going to do?'

'I have an idea- you might not like it but…' Regardless she urged him to speak. _She would do anything to stop him going through what she had gone through._

When he was finished she stroked her chin thoughtfully. 'Good, but it's not going to be enough. What about this too?' As she finished the proposal he was nodding.

'It could work.' _Only if we get everyone to agree._

On Friday, after some consideration, Danny and Linda had already agreed to the first part of the plan (Jamie's idea) which Sean didn't know about. On Friday night, he came over and they pitched to him. 'I don't know… Will I be able to_? _It's a lot of work.

'Work you've already done. You just need to kick it up a notch.'

'Alright, if you're sure.' He was apprehensive but desperate times call for desperate measures. He wasn't stupid. He knew exactly why his 'friends' were now picking on him. He wanted to prove himself. This exercise wasn't for them but for him. So could have a stronger belief in his ability. He just didn't know it. In order to be better prepared they warmed up and did a practice run. Afterwards he stayed to watch a movie. He seemed fairly okay about it after they had gone through it. Hopefully it wouldn't be much different on Sunday except for the number of people watching. He didn't want his mom, dad, or anyone to know. _The element of surprise!_

Sunday morning dawned breezy and bright. Everyone was settled into their seats in the Church when they arrived. Except Sean. He was fiddling with his belt agitated. The two of them attracted some strange looks when they walked in, carrying his frame. Caoimhe couldn't help but beam. _They think this is out of the ordinary? Well _they're_ sure would be staring when they saw what was about to happen!_ In keeping with the pretence, as usual it had been left at home. Trying to keep her voice down Linda asked anxiously 'What's going on?'

Caoimhe just pointed. Sean was wriggling forward. Jamie moved his footplates and he stood up. She took put her arms around his waist; keeping him upright. They swapped the walker for the chair and he remained standing. He made it through the whole 45 minute service. Standing, sitting, kneeling. The congregation were watching him with interest. Some kids were even turning around in their seats, whispering loudly. They had all prayed for him while he was in hospital and were well aware of his condition. To this day, people still came up to them saying things like 'God bless you.' It was a bit random, but everyone assured him they meant well.

He didn't hear much of what was being said that Sunday, he didn't really notice anyone else, the concentration and determination required for the task was far too great. He was still standing when the crowds started dispersing after the hymns. He stood all through the stream of people coming up to congratulate him. It made him kind of nervous. He didn't need to talk, not that he could. If he opened his mouth, he would collapse. After they had left. Danny asked him if he was ready to go. He was, but one boy in particular wasn't. She asked Jack who he was. 'That's Carl Simmons- a boy in Sean's class.' _Oh, _that_ Carl._

His reaction made sense then. His eyes were glazed, his mouth slightly open. Revealing a gap in his tooth, where one had fallen out. His youth shined through. He hadn't realised what Sean was capable of doing now he was getting better. He wasn't able to mask his shock. His mom next to him appeared to be telling him off for gawking. She was trying to get him to move, but he was rooted to the spot. Their voices alerting him, Sean looked straight ahead and saw his classmate for the first time. Somehow he managed to catch his eye and nod. Acknowledging him. A moment later he recovered himself. Seeing Sean as an equal, probably for the first time ever he did the same. Then dropped his gaze shamefaced. When he was finally took leave Sean sat back in his chair; content. On the way out Jamie congratulated him. He had been the bigger man.

It was Monday afternoon. Caoimhe found her breathing become more rapid. Surveying the pictures on the walls and hearing the shouts of boisterous children brought unearthed memories in her mind. She gripped Jamie's hand and kept walking. _Things were different now. _She _was different now. _When they got to the classroom they waited_, _before knocking. Miss Jennings swung open revealing the startled faces of 20 pupils. Most of all was Sean's. Next came Carl, he recognised them from the previous day. His teacher had just given an introduction to the two 'speakers.' So they launched straight in. She sat and watched, taking it in.

They were here to explain what had happened during Sean's bike accident. Hence the bleeding. They explained that the brain wasn't like any other organ. After being hurt, it often didn't recover very well. As a result, Sean'slegs weren't able to function as well as theirs' were. So, for now he couldn't walk. They spoke of the pain and the stiffness, how awkward and uncontrollable his legs felt.

'How do you know?' a little boy piped up after waving his hand in the air.

'I'm glad you asked that. My brain got hurt too. When I was very little. I don't remember it. Sean does though; he remembers all too well what life was like before the accident. He's having a hard time adjusting to it. Like all of you are, I know it's tough seeing your friend like this but just because he's different doesn't mean he shouldn't be treated the same. Take basketball for example. Sean's just learned to play. It's a sport enjoyed by lots of people. People in wheelchairs and those not in wheelchairs. It doesn't matter which.'

'How come he's here then? Did he get hurt too?' They didn't really understand.

'He's a very good friend of mine, who did get hurt. It was his idea that I should come and talk to you guys today. He came all for the moral support.'

But he's a cop!' he murmured aghast, that those who defended others had most likely, needed to be defended themselves at some point.

'I know and I'm a lawyer. He was hurt but not in the way you think. When he was a kid, like me he was bullied. That hurt him emotionally. So now he spends his days stopping other people from getting hurt. By preventing crime. Doing the right thing. Helping those who need help. Anybody who asks, regardless of what they look like or the type of person they are.'

She paused for affect. Taking lead from their teacher, they clapped. Then suddenly the bell rang, calling the class to a close. As the class filed out they called out 'Goodbye Sean.' When it was just Miss Jennings, Samantha, herself, Jamie and Sean in the room. They thanked her for the speech. 'It was inspiring, and insightful. _That was an overstatement. She hadn't even said much! _She brushed it off as 'nothing.'

As Samantha left she said 'See you tomorrow' Sean smiled. He would see her tomorrow and the next day, for the foreseeable future. But Caoimhe had a feeling they there wouldn't be a need for them to spend lunchtime in each other's company anymore. They were going to take him home, seeing as they were here. When they got there, Sean filled in his brother and all that had gone on. 'You should have heard her speech!' They declined coffee. Jamie had mentioned there was somewhere they needed to be.

When they were back in the car she whispered a thank you to Jamie. The way he looked at her suggested he wasn't sure what it was for. She looked taken aback when he expressed this. 'You came for moral support; you got me to admit to those kids that I was bullied. I opened up about how it hurt me. I admitted it to myself. I looked my fear in the eye and faced it straight on. Anyway the whole thing was your idea.'

He supposed it was. The display of Sean's ability on Sunday was to boost _his_ self-belief. But this had been as much for her as it was for him. It had worked; he just hoped she would be as grateful when she learned what he had in store for her next.

She shared in the glorious moment when Sean rang her on Tuesday night. To give a blow-by- blow account of the fun game that went on that lunchtime. We were all trying to get the ball; Carl lunged and caught me on the shoulder. It was a physical game, just like old before. 'He apologised though. For everything.' Remembering the way he had been treated, he went quiet.

Then he also remembered the reason he had called. Brightening considerably 'I scored the winning basket!' He was yelled down the phone, ecstatic. That was truly the icing on the cake.

She hadn't been too delighted when she saw where they were headed. It would be ten times more difficult. After all they knew her. Then she realised. He knew her too. Better than they did, if what had happened over the last couple of weeks was anything to go by. All of her; past, present, future. The things she had kept from him, even the things she had kept from herself. He knew her inside out and he was still here. That lightened her heart considerably as they strolled towards the building. He was here. The real him. She was there. The real her. They could do it together.

**A/N: Thanks for all your support up until now. it means a lot. What did you think of that chapter? Let me know- in the form of- you guessed it REVIEWS! Or as I call them food for the soul of the writer… Until next time. Watch this space! **


	17. The Pitter Patter of Little Feet

_Damn it! Caoimhe _moaned as she sat up. Mentally kicking herself as she realised where she was. She paused, turning to survey Jamie. _He looked so cute while he slept. _Sighing, she shook the thought from her head. She glanced around for her jeans. Picking them up, she also found last her top slung over a chair. _Last night's clothes. You'd think I would know better by now. _She dressed quickly, closing the door gently behind her trying not to wake Jamie.

She knew she had failed when she felt his arms wrap around her waist. Just as she was about to slip outside. 'Good morning,' he murmured.

'Is it?' she snipped.

'Yeah, pretty much. Except you weren't there when I woke up, which explains why I did. It's been okay so far. Last night was fun though. Would you like to stay for breakfast? You look like you could do with a pick- me-up. Without waiting for an answer he picked her up bodily and set off in the direction of the kitchen.

Caught half-way between annoyance and amusement, Caoimhe shrieked 'Put me down!' Then thinking better of it she whispered 'Please? 'I have to go.' _It wouldn't do to wake the neighbours. They got enough disapproving looks as it was. Particularly from one elderly lady 3 doors down..._

'Since you said 'please'. He turned around and deposited her at the door again. 'Will I be seeing you later?'

'I've been meaning to talk to you about that… I don't know if we should do this anymore.' He didn't know what to say to that. _What were they doing? Or maybe it was what he was doing wrong? Or what he wasn't?_ Before he had time to think further, she was gone.

He'd learned recently that sometimes she was not a good 'morning after person.' He'd gotten over it. It was strange though. No contact for two days straight; a record for them. He wondered what Danny would have to say on the subject. On the 2nd night they meet up for a beer. 'The thing about woman is that they like their space. Sometimes you get closer and that takes a while to adjust to.' _In a principle it sounded easy but in practice was another story._ When he voiced his worry his brother blew him off. 'You're not that lovesick are you? My advice? Order another drink. Spend some quality time with me. You'll find it's a lot easier. Women are complicated, whereas I'm not.'

Caoimhe was tiding up her bedroom. Purely for the purpose of something to do. _You'd be surprised how little cleaning a room needs when you don't sleep there that often! _The little voice in her head reprimanded her, but she pushed it to one side. On her beside locker, she spotted her diary. She opened it hoping to find upcoming social event within which would distract her from the distinct lack of Jamie from her evening plans. Flipping through its pages she noticed something. Something that made her mouth hang open. She flicked back to the previous page, hoping for better. _If anything it_ was worse.

Moaning she flopped down on her bed. Seconds later, she sat up abruptly. Dashing towards the bathroom. It was then that it hit her and she had to rest her head against the cool tiles._ How did it come to this? I didn't think it was that serious. I didn't think it was a problem. I didn't think._

Then it came to her instantaneously. A feeling of delightful joy. _This was what she wanted._

Hands shaking she dialled Jamie's number. He picked up on the 3rd ring. 'We need to talk. I'm coming over.'

She let herself inside. 'Hi, what's up?'

She offered him her hand. Leading him towards _his _bathroom this time. The result was as excepted. He didn't argue with her. She was right. She hadn't how he would take it in his arms. 'I want to do this with you. I want to be 'us.' I think it would have happened eventually. This feels right.'

'You have no idea how good it feels to hear you say that. I was freaking thinking of how you would react.'_ She needn't have worried._

'What do we do now?'

'Take some time to get used to the idea first before we start organising anything.'

Soon enough it was Sunday again. Caoimhe and Jamie's turn in the kitchen. As they worked they talked. For a little while they forgot where they were. Who they were with. 'How are you feeling today?'

'Nervous. How do you think they'll take it?'

'Danny and Linda will freak out. It's been a long time since they heard the pitter patter of little feet.'

'You can say that again. It probably hadn't entered their minds that it would happen this soon. Given the circumstances. '

'I know. How do you think Sean's going to take it?'

'No doubt it's going to take some getting used to.'

When Danny heard his name being mentioned he perked up his ears, stiffening. When he heard the context he almost chocked, eyes bulging. Putting assumptions aside, he continued to listen. Then the voices were covered by the boiling of a pot on the stove, then the running of the tap. They had kept talking and he was easily able to pick things off where they off.

'… kind of worried about how your Dad will it. He's Irish, Catholic and from what you've told me notoriously old-fashioned to boot.'

'I can see what you mean, but once he gets used to the idea he will be okay. As long as I'm okay, he'll just have to cope. What about your father though? He is the police commissioner. He can look straight through you, into your _soul. _Then, there's the rest of your family. Combined they're a formidable presence, on par with the Spanish Inquisition in my opinion. They stand on a higher moral ground too.'

'Like you said. They'll cope. This is New York! We're grown-ups, this choice is ours to make. '

'He probably already knows!' she fretted.

'Maybe. He's tactful. Danny on the hand… Just keep a straight face for a while. Until the time is right.'

The whirring of a blender obscured the next part of the conversation. Danny cursed. Linda gave him a reproachful look. That clearly said 'keep your judgements to yourself'. The more he heard the harder Danny was finding it to keep his mouth shut. _What mess had his kid brother gone and gotten himself into? Better yet, how am I going to get him out of it?_

Unable to ponder the questions, Danny found he was once again able to focus in on what they were saying. He managed to pick it up, but was finding it hard to concentrate. Unable to fully take the words in, he found that they were just washing over him.

'… I'm ecstatic about it. What if I mess up though? The silence that followed told Danny that Jamie didn't have any idea what to say. _After all, he hadn't gone through it either. Yet._

Eventually he said 'ask Erin and Linda for some advice. They would be glad to help you out._'_ Those were the last words spoken, before Caoimhe wandered out into the dining room, looking for Sean. The entire table was silently exchanging worried glances when Jamie sat down. _It seemed as though they were all thinking along the same lines. _Jamie gave no sign that anything was wrong. Danny was just about to question him when Jack flopped down next to him. _They couldn't mention it now. _ As the others chatted, Danny found himself staring into space.

'Oh my God. Really?!'When did you know?' Sean's voice could be heard over the noisy chatter, a sure sign of his amazement. Does anyone else know? Does Jamie know? What about mom and Dad?'

'You're parents don't know yet but Jamie does. He's not going to say a word. We were thinking it might be a good idea to keep it a secret for a while. Then we could surprise them. Enough chat! Shall we go to work?'

That was what they did, until dinner was served. Then they were heard discussing something else. 'How was that?' There was a muffled response. Then, Caoimhe appeared in the doorway, Sean in her arms. He was still fairly skinny and not too tall. _He must have been a dead wait though if his drooping eyelids were anything to go by._ Danny made to take him from her but she brushed him off. _She shouldn't have been carrying him. Not if that earlier conversation was anything to go by._

'It's no big deal Danny. I'm fine. Anyway, I owed him- I worked him to the bone today.' Knowing when to stop, Danny let it drop and they tucked into their food. All accept one. Caoimhe was playing with her food rather than eating. Danny noticed, 'Are you trying to tell us something?'

'The food's is fine Danny.'

'Are you okay though?'

'Yep.'

'Are you sure?'

'Yes.'

'Are you sure you're sure?

'Yeah... But…'

'She'd be better if she didn't have you badgering her. Leave her be,' Jamie put in.' Caoimhe shot him a grateful smile and took a sip of water before continuing.

'Thanks Jamie. That wasn't what I was going to say though. I was going to ask Danny if _was _okay. He seems a bit out of sorts.' Danny let his eyes drop to his plate. _They weren't getting anywhere. Time for a more direct line of questioning._

After dinner when the boys were entertained with the video games, the rest of the Reagans stayed seated. Nicki was there too, she was almost an adult after all and it might warn her as to what _not _to do in later life. Right now, the focus was on trying to get them to come clean. Things would be okay once it had all settled down. Although for the moment, everyone was just in shock.

'So, when we going to find out?' He did not give him a chance to deny it.

'Sorry?' Jamie was feigning perplexity. _Why didn't he feel as though he could come to him about this? Had their relationship disintegrated that much over the years? _ Then it came to him. _He had. _Thinking back to that night in the bar a few days ago. That was what that had been about. _That must have been when she told him. How long had she kept it a secret before that?_

'That you and Caoimhe were… That Caoimhe was…' He let the words dangle in the air. He couldn't bring himself to say it. He wanted him to do it. _That would make it real. _

Looks of comprehension were dawning on their faces. 'Can we just have a sec? Alone?' Jamie asked. With that they high-tailed it into the kitchen, closing the door behind them. Their words were whispered and urgent. 'How did he _know_?' Caoimhe whispered, obviously caught totally off guard.

'Maybe you were right after all. It could have been Dad. Anyway it doesn't matter. They know now. We just have to deal with it. I'm mean…. We would have told them eventually. We would have had to. They would have noticed; they're not stupid.'

'Look at the date though,' she reminded him. 'Isn't it a bit…?' She was hoping without her having to say it. He did, but he wasn't going to let it rattle him. Instead he stated 'the time is now, come on.' So they came face to face with Jamie's fellow Reagans again. Each them remained still exhibiting a perfect poker face. She had no clue what any of them were thinking. Nicki, quickly catching on seemed to be a bit freaked out.

'So we overheard you guys talking about advice. We've all been through the whole parenthood thing. We want to help in any way we can,' Linda offered. The other Reagans were all nodding and smiling at them encouragingly.

Caoimhe was totally overwhelmed by this declaration. For a while she just stood there without saying a thing. Then, she turned on her heel and ran straight back to the kitchen, her hand was clamped to her mouth.' Jamie followed suit.

He found leaning up against the sink in a total mess. 'They… I can't believe…' The ability to speech appeared to have failed her. Jamie knew what she was thinking though.

'What are we going to do?' he wondered.

'When I can speak again, I'll make my case to your family. Hopefully winning them over at the same time. Presenting exhibit A.' With gusto she pulled out something which he had seen only this morning. He poured her a glass water which she gulped in one go before marching out the door.

'Hello again,' said Caoimhe, attempting an air of false cheer.

'You okay sweetie?' Erin wanted to know.

'I've had better days,' she admitted. All the women the room were sympathetic.

'We... have something we want to show you,' she offered to Danny. She held out her cell phone, pressed a button and the most recently viewed picture came up. It was a sonogram. Danny was staring at it intently, speechless.

'Do you know who this is?' Caoimhe was speaking gently.

'I think so…' Danny's voice was husky with emotion.

'Do you know when you're trying someone special something important? Something life changing? You can't do it unless they're right in front of you, so they can fully grasp the gravity of what has happened and what will happen? Everyone in the room waited with baited breath. 'It's impossible otherwise. I got a call one day a couple of weeks back. My sister, she called me up, said she had something important to tell me. I said if it was really important then she should tell me know, but if it could wait 'til she came down next month then that was fine too. She hung up and sent me this. She didn't know how else to tell me.'

She paused for a minute to let the information sink in. 'This is 21st century. All I wanted to do was hug her but I couldn't. She showed me on _Skype _too. It had pride of place on her refrigerator and I couldn't be there to admire it. She lives in a different state. We see each other every 6 months. I know it might seem selfish to miss her when to some, that seems like a very small distance but I do. I think you know what that's like. Kind of, at least. I _love _that you are protective. I love that you get to see your brother at least every 2 days. We want you to come over all the time. Maybe bring a house warming gift?'

'I also fancied myself having a cactus,' Jamie joked. The tension was broken. Everyone was gobsmacked, as well as being as far away from livid as possible. They didn't care that the two of them had kept their moving in together a secret up until then. It didn't matter.

'So you're going to be an aunt and a roommate?'

'Yes Danny and you're not going to be an uncle just yet! We also have or own 'private' kitchen where we can talk without being 'overheard.' Sorry about that by the way. _I suppose I'm just so at home here now…_

Apparently that was a cause for celebration; Frank was just about to grab a bottle of champagne when Danny exclaimed 'Hang on, what about the 'pitter patter of little feet' thing?'

'Haven't you guessed? They're Sean's! Not to mention the sound of his frame's spinning wheels, 'Jamie explained.

'You know how skinny he is these days. He took his first 5 steps since the accident today. Granted, it took a while, though given time it'll get much easier. I suggested we start today. Then we were going to surprise you all when he got more confident. Although, he might be willing to give another go now, with all your encouragement.' With that she led the way into the living room. Sean, while being disappointed that the surprise had been ruined was up for the challenge.

This time, he moved more slowly with an air of confidence he hadn't possessed earlier that day. He knew now, that he wasn't going to collapse while Caoimhe was right behind him – but only helping steer-so he didn't feel the need to rush to the other side of the room to sink into an armchair.

Still, every step he took was hesitant. It took constant reminding and repossessing but after a lot of hard work he had reached his parents standing in the doorway. Every one of Caoimhe's reminders to put weight through his feet, straighten his knees or whatever were done silently. Just so the spectators could survey his movement in quiet awe. _He had come so far. To think they weren't even sure if he would make it in the beginning._

Nicki came and made a bit of an announcement after a while. 'We were thinking. You said were going to be an aunt? We'll we've decided that from now on, you should be an 'honorary' aunt in this family.'

Caoimhe was touched. When she found her voice she joked 'So, is that like an agony aunt? You know my door is always open.' Despite her light tone it was plain to see how much this declaration meant to her. Biology was one thing. It was a bond, a tie. Free will was another, ten times as strong.

With one tired boy in tow Danny's family left. Then Erin and Nicki, who had some last-minute revision to do before a test the next day. Then Jamie and Caoimhe went their separate ways. Tonight would be their last night in their respective abodes. Then, they would take the huge step of moving the last of Caoimhe's place, into theirs.

**A/N: Did I have you guys fooled for a while? A good writer should know how to do suspense. I hope I pulled it off okay. What did you think? Reviews please! Just in case you guys were wondering the reference to the date has to do with it being April 1****st**** (April Fools Day). Caoimhe was thinking that if they broke the news to them them, then wouldn't believe it!**


	18. The Big Picture

**A/N: Sorry for not updating in so long. Here is the next chapter; I skipped some time…**

It was late when Caoimhe's phone went off. She reached for it instantly. _There were 2 suicides on the area I was patrolling. I'll be home late; don't wait up! _Caoimhe was caught somewhere between a gasp of shock and a sigh of relief. _How horrible! _She hated it when he worked after midnight and worried when he got in contact, in case something was wrong.

Despite having sent a message, Jamie wasn't in the least bit surprised to see that she was wide awake when he sneaked into their bedroom over 3 hours later. 'What happened?' Sighing he turned away.

His voice was husky when he answered her, drawing the words out as though trying to find a way to make them less awful. 'A woman and her baby son jumped off one of the buildings in the Bitterman Houses. Vinny and I spoke to her before she jumped, tried to calm her down. It didn't do any good though. She said there was no other way to escape the life her husband had set out for them. He's a big part of the gang which runs that place.' Caoimhe didn't know what to say, her mouth was a perfect O of shock.

After a while just to break the seemingly endless silence she murmured 'That wasn't why you were there though was it?'

'Of course not. We had no idea it was going to happen. It was just another 911 call. Only when we got there, no one would tell us anything. So we went from floor to floor, asking questions. Nearly everyone down there is allergic to cops it seems. We never found out who made the call. Needless to say we were a bit distracted.' She nodded in understanding as she tried to wrap her mind around what it must have been like to witness something like that.

'Guess who we met while we were searching? This kid Vinny used to babysit for called Hector. Did I mention that's where he grew up? Anyway, these guys were hassling him so we sorted them out. It just makes me feel sad that, when we left they'd just start up again. He was a sweet kid. He's going to spend the rest of his life under the influence of crime lords and drug dealers…'

'Vinny got out though. Look at him now, serving the NYPD. Maybe there's hope for this kid and people like him.' This seemed to soothe Jamie slightly but it didn't stop him from lying awake for the rest of the night, staring at the ceiling, thinking of what could have been. When morning came though he got up and went about his day as normal. He had to do what he could to help. All the same he couldn't help but feel that his efforts were fruitless. That he was fighting against something bigger, over which he had no control. He couldn't help feel that he was only one patrol officer.

So things went on for a couple of days. Danny had been trying to bring in the husband of the woman who took her own life, with no luck so far. He had known her as a child; questioning her after her parents were murdered. He had promised to offer them protection, he took news of her death badly, thinking that it was a sign that he had failed in that duty. The others of course, tried to convince him that he had done the best he could under the circumstances. Erin was also involved in case of a woman from a disadvantaged area who was mugged. Her case was about to go to trial, but she was being threatened by the gang whose member attacked her. She had been frightened naturally and refused to testify. The case fell apart. This led the PC on a campaign to for the DA to bring more cases like that to trial. The whole thing got under the skin of all the Reagans, plaguing them, so that they couldn't rest until justice had been served.

Caoimhe had just left their building when an NYPD squad car pulled up and out stepped Jamie. She took a double take and went over to see what was going on. _He wasn't meant to be on duty today… Had he been arrested?_

'Hello,' she greeted him. 'If you don't mind me asking, what's with escort?' _Usually he hated to draw attention to the fact he was the Commissioner's son. Anyway hadn't he left with the car that morning?_

'I needed to come home.' He seemed to want to act as though nothing was wrong but Caoimhe knew otherwise.

'Couldn't you walk?' This was the only thing she could think of.

'Not from the 8th and not after a collision.'

'What? What were you doing there? What collision? Are you okay?' Without meaning to her voice had become slightly higher and taken on a frantic edge.

'Well, the guy Danny's trying to find, he thought he would get him at the wake of his wife and son. He kept me up to date because I've an interest in the case. I thought he might need some back-up. _ That still didn't explain a lot. _She continued to gaze at him questioningly and he went on to explain.

'So they located the guy but he made a run for it. Danny came outside, I was there. We took off after the guy, chased him for a while. He turned, I followed, managed to ram him off the road. We arrested him and we took him back to the 8th. Danny's questioning him now.'

'Are you okay?' she gasped. Rushing forward to inspect him. When it appeared it was she punched on the arm, declaring he was an idiot. 'You shouldn't have done that! Any of it! Going there was a stupid idea. As was getting into a car chase. You could have been killed! You were off duty. It's not your case. Why couldn't you just leave it be?'

He shrugged helplessly. She already knew the answer. He was a Reagan. They took their cases to heart, this one was personal. He had been there and he hadn't been able to help the girl. He felt guilty. They had discussed this of course, many times since the incident. However after a while Jamie didn't want to talk anymore. He knew talking wouldn't do any good. He had inherited the Reagan gene; he was a man of action. 'I doubt you want to talk about it. But do you want me to stay with you anyway?' He shook his head.

He wanted to know, 'are you annoyed about the car?'

This question almost made her fall over in shock. 'Do you think I'm really that superficial? It's not you! As long you're okay, that's what matters.'

'But…' She held up her hand to silence him.

'If you're not going to let me stay home with you, then at least walk me to the Subway. I am independent person and I can manage perfectly fine without private transport. Just not without your company.' She took his hand as they set off. 'On the way I shall enlighten you as to how miniscule collateral damage to material goods is, in the larger scale of things.'

For another little while things remained quiet, if not peaceful. Danny couldn't get any charges to stick. He had to let Ricky go and so the gang which had ruled the Bitterman Houses for as long as anyone could remember, remained at large. Until that faithful day when bullets rained from above, while Jamie and Vinny were out on Patrol there. Vinny passed away at the scene from gunshot wounds to the neck and the back of the head.

Caoimhe heard the news and she went as fast as lightning to the ER at St. Victor's. There she found Jamie, on his feet giving a statement to the police. Mercifully he had emerged unscathed from his brush with death. Unfortunately the same could not be said for his partner. Caoimhe just gave a hug. It would be ridiculous to do otherwise. She knew he wasn't alright and asking wouldn't help. She could tell by just looking at him. At that moment he was shaking with overwhelming shock. In the day's following Vinny's funeral he would shake with an inexpressible anger. All he wanted was to bring down the men responsible so that his friend and partner could rest in peace.

In the days following his death the rest of the Reagans were busy too. Danny was on the case and Frank was dealing with the media. In attempt to open up channels of information him and the Mayor held a meeting with the people of the Bitterman Housing Projects. The meeting itself wasn't televised but as it was being held the news broke that someone had shot at, the Police Commissioner and the mayor. The mayor was hit twice; they rushed him to the ER. Frank escaped injury. Caoimhe's first thought was; _he and all the Reagans must have the luck of the Irish!_ All hell broke loose in the Reagan Homestead. Soon after that the identity of the shooter was confirmed. It was Hector. The guy Vinny babysat for. Learning of the news, James was indignant. 'He can't have acted alone.'

The revelation that he wasn't 'all there' and what happened afterwards caused everyone to spring into action. Danny set off to see what the latest in the case was. Henry suggested they all pray for the Mayor. At this, Jamie snapped. Erin tried to keep everyone calm, suggesting a drink. After making clear to his grandfather his present thoughts on God, he stormed out, fuming. Caoimhe followed, shooting apologetic glances at everyone. _She wasn't taking sides, but it wouldn't do to leave him alone in such a state. _She had seen it all before. In times of bereavement some people strengthened their relationship with God while others turned their back on him. While Vinny's death would remain imprinted on Jamie's mind for the rest of his life, she was sure the latter was only temporary. Right now, he was just feeling helpless ad looking for someone to blame. He would come to his senses soon enough and apologise. That time would come all the sooner if had someone with whom he could share his feelings with who wouldn't get offended.

She caught up with him on the street corner as he waited for the light to change. They crossed together and kept walking through the streets. After a while they came to a stop. He was tired of running away, he didn't feel as though he had done anything wrong. He wanted to make Caoimhe say that, he flopped on a park bench, ready to talk. She turned to face him. 'So, about what happened back there? Your grandfather didn't mean to upset you, not in the slightest. He just wanted unite the family. It's an emotional time for everyone. The shooting on top of Vinny's death.'

'He was happy to sit there doing nothing.'

'Believe me, he was anything but. He's feeling just as helpless as you are. Maybe even more so because he's not a cop anymore. He was just trying to help. I know you were trying to find something to do, but lashing out isn't a good idea. You need your family, especially now.'

'So what you're saying is I should be doing something constructive… like going out tomorrow and talking to Hector's mom with Renzulli. Seeing is she knows on whose orders he acted.'

'Exactly.' She smiled. _He was a smart, level headed guy. With everything that's happened he's just been caught off guard. _ He had spoken in the heat of the moment; let his anger cloud his judgement. Under the circumstances she couldn't blame. She knew his family wouldn't either.

'So, we went to talk to her. She was distraught, had already spoken to a lot of cops. We didn't stay long; she wasn't really telling us anything we didn't already know. Her partner offered to 'walk us to the elevator.' He told us that the radio calmed him down.' Caoimhe nodded, a lot of people like Hector had triggers. Jamie went on 'we went to the station. I told the guys. Hector was brought in. He recognised me, as Vinny's friend. Called my Ray-Gun. He seemed not to be in the best shape. I didn't like the way those detectives handled him.

'When he had explained, she backed his first thought; which was to go to the PC about it. He consulted Erin and she went with him so he would have someone on his side who knew what they were talking about. His father listened and they talked about it at length. The next day it emerged that the 2 detectives in question were being moved off the case. The men, now working it allowed Jamie to sit in as they questioned him; while the radio played. Eventually they managed to get the name of one of the gang members out of him. Jamie had been right all along; he hadn't acted alone.

Meanwhile Danny was looking at things from a different angle. He had the phones of the gang members tapped and they were put under surveillance. They followed his car on a suspected drop, losing it. However they waited and his girlfriend drove it to the Bitterman Houses. She refused them permission to search it, so they got a warrant. Danny found a large quantity of narcotics concealed in a door. As he wasn't driving or present at the time they could only arrest his girlfriend. Danny and he had words. Later on that night, she was attacked by an inmate. They spoke when she came out of surgery and she agreed to help them. The information, she and other residents of the Bitterman houses provided enabled for arrest warrants for 47 members of the gang. As a result the people of that community were now free from tyranny.

That mass operation caused Jamie to remember what he'd forgotten since Vinny's death. While he was only 1 officer, he had the whole of the NYPD behind him for support, not to mention his biological family. Sure they couldn't fix everything but they could make the streets a better place. They had influence in New York because they too were part of a bigger picture. They looked out for their own. All the citizens of New York included.

Jamie was there at the time. It gave him a sense of peace. At Sunday dinner he made peace with his grandfather and the rest of the family. Linda was telling them that she and family were heading down to stay in her sister's house for the 2nd week of July. When she said family she didn't mean just Danny and the kids. There was a house right next door with enough room for them all to stay. They all thought it was a great idea, except Jamie. He thought it would be just be bringing work with them. Caoimhe looked him right in the eye when she said 'You'll go if I have to frog march you to the car myself. I'm serious; I'll lock you out of the house!'

'Isn't that going to be kind of difficult, seeing as you're going to be there too?' His eyes were alight with merriment.

'You need a break with your family,' she protested.

'You're included. I can go for a week without work, not you. She was staring at him, before jerking her head towards everyone else at the table. _How is this going to work? We live together and we're cool with it. They seemed okay with it, but that was before we were going to be spending a week together with them in close quarters._Notably; their first vacation together.

Jamie, seemed to be thinking along the same lines. The others seemed content to leave them at it. They wanted her to come but had no desire to interfere. They had switched to how they would pay for it. Linda was suggesting everyone pitch in when Jamie piped up 'I'll rent it.' He couldn't help looking over at Caoimhe to see her reaction. He caught her eye and winked as if to say; _I told you it wouldn't be a problem. My house my rules. _

Looking back, Caoimhe supposed The good thing about that vacation was, it reminded the Reagans they were other things besides police officers and lawyer. Brothers and sisters, wives, husbands, girlfriends, nieces, nephews, grandchildren, great- grandchildren, friends. It reaffirmed that while their blood ran blue, blood was also thicker than water. They were much more than a group of law enforcers; they were a family.

**A/N: What did you think? Reviews please! Was my ending a bit off? I wasn't sure but I decided to go for it because I didn't know what else to do.**


	19. Knowing

**A/N: I've skipped more time. This is just a short filler chapter. When you read this chapter, please bear in mind that this is my first fanfiction.**

The week spent with the Reagans, was the only real 'vacation time.' Caoimhe got over the next while. They went, they came back, and things went on. That October she did take some time off but during that time was still spent doing hard work. The first Sunday she was back, Danny commented 'I was surprised they let you off for 10 days let alone the week you were originally meant to spend there. How come you spent the extra 3 days anyway?'

'You would too. My big sister never asks for anything. When she asked me to stay for a while longer to help with Tyler, I knew it was important. I just couldn't bring myself to say no to her. She was exhausted, frankly so was I but I knew after I while I could just go home, whereas she'd be taking care of him 24/7. I wanted to help and I knew I could so I stayed, the extra few days. It gave her time to adjust to the fact that I was going to leave. She knew she had to send me home eventually, she thinks New York is having a positive effect on me. Apparently I'm now domesticated!'

'Still, I didn't think your influence was so great in that organisation was so great you could just ask for extra time off…'

'Well, they have to keep her sweet, considering how much time she's giving up to help them out' Jamie grumbled. This however offered no explanation to the him. So Caoimhe went on to explain, what she had been putting off all afternoon. It didn't really bother Jamie, keeping quiet because he still couldn't believe she was going. Abroad for a couple of weeks abroad as in Japan. 'A couple' as in 8. Along with a degree in Civil Law, she'd minored in Japanese and International Relations. Her expertise meant that for the last months she'd been leading the acquisition of a rival company and its merger with another. It still needed to finalised though and they thought it might also be a good idea to have someone over there as their advocate for the first while. To negotiate with the new workers and avoid future legal disputes over industrial relations. Were there other people that could do this? Yes, but Mr Takahashi had picked her. She was young enough to both need and make the most of the experience but skilled, an excellent negotiator who knew what the firm wanted out this new venture It was a case she was familiar with, having worked on it from the start. He also trusted her, as she had previously represented them well. Furthermore, she was someone he liked and wouldn't mind keeping in constant correspondence with for the duration of her time in Japan.

She was also, pretty much uncommitted. Free as a bird, or so seemed. Although Caoimhe knew that for Jamie this was a huge thing. From when she'd spent a year abroad as part of her degree right up until they'd met, she would spend her summers in Japan. Learning while, on work placements. In fact learning she still was. This was her first serious long term job _How could he deny her this chance to 'represent the firm in an official capacity.' He couldn't not in good conscience anyway. _She reasoned with him that this was different.

When Erin heard, she brought it up. 'You've a strong understanding of the Japanese language and the language and context of law in that country. Not to mention a company who is fast expanding to that area. You're the one that ensured it, they'd be glad to hire you. Would you ever consider a more permanent move to Japan?' They were just chatting, but Caoimhe could sense that she was trying to keep the seriousness out of her tone. Most people would think, "she's not even in Japan yet. How would she know?" However, Erin knew how much time she'd spent there in recent years. She couldn't help wondering if this new branch, which lead to her going on an extended business trip to Tokyo would lead to something bigger.

'What? Me? Japan? No way! I won't lie to you, previously, it was on my mind, but not now. New York has grown on me. I love it here; the people especially. I already emigrated once; I'm not going to do it again, not just for such a trivial thing as employment. My parents didn't do that, I'm not going to. There's such a diverse culture here that I have no trouble finding work. Tokyo might be one of my favourite cities but its outdone tenfold by New York. And of course Dublin.' She had made her case. There was no more talk of it. All the Reagans just hugged her. She was leaving the next day and would be a good while before she saw them in person again.

In saying goodbye to the other Reagans, Caoimhe had managed to keep a straight face. However with Jamie this transpired to impossible. As they stood in the departures hall in the airport she busied herself with instructing him. 'Move your things into the house tonight. Don't get too caught up in work. Spend time with your friends and family. Don't think of how long I've been gone, but how long it is until I get back. Carry on as normal Email me!' When she could think of nothing else to say, she pulled a tissue from her pocket, using it to dab at her eyes.

She felt ridiculous. Here she was choosing to leave, here he was supporting her. Yet she was the one in floods of tears. She supposed she did have a reason to cry. He had his family and friends, the familiar streets of his birth city. She knew Tokyo better than a tourist and had built up quite the multitude of 'business acquaintances.' They weren't the same thing though. 'One more thing,' she murmured. 'I forgot to say on Sunday. I do love the people of New York, I do, but I love you most of all. What I mean to say is that I'm _in _love with you Jamie Reagan. I don't think any distance, however substantial could change that. Now, I know what you're thinking. "I'm being selfish holding her back" But you're not. You're giving me not just a reason to come back to New York, but to come home. You make me feel as if I finally belong.'

She had said her speech for the most part while staring at the ground. However, towards the end she managed to raise her eyes to peer into his. She knew then that she'd done the right thing. Just like she knew he felt the same way. Just like he knew that despite missing her, he would be okay. Yet, it gave him comforted him, reaffirming his beliefs when he heard her finally say what he had been thinking for quite some time. When he smiled his beautiful smile, it was one tinged with melancholy. He had smiled earlier, one tinged with melancholy which did not fully reach his eyes. Now his eyes were filled with soft warmth.

He was a quiet man. She had always had a way with words. She was a lawyer who did a lot of talking for her living. He was a cop; a man of action. You'd think expressing her feelings for him would have made that easy. It was quite the opposite actually. She'd done it though, although perhaps she hadn't done it justice. It wasn't until it came down to telling him that she realised. Love wasn't a word, a sentence or a declaration. It was an all-consuming emotion that made you want to cry and laugh with joy all at the same time. She knew it was a mutual feeling because, whether she knew it at the time, he had shown it to her. He let her walk away and trusted her to come back to New York. To him.

With a sigh she managed to wretch herself out of his arms. She had to go, while all she wanted was to stay, otherwise she wouldn't have the strength to leave. It eased her pain to know that he would be there when she returned. Waiting, to hold her and never let her go. Not in a literal sense of course. Love wasn't something you could hold in the palm of your hand. Not something you could control, monopolize or mould and they knew it too. It was something you had spread throughout the globe. It was something you had to shout from the rafters telling the whole world. But you couldn't tell it if you hadn't seen it.

She glided slowly backwards, keeping him in her sights. At the last minute she gave him a cheeky wave and turned away, before being lost in the crowd. But not lost from his mind and certainly not forever.

**A/N: I tried it a couple of different ways, but did it still turn out too mushy? I don't want to get sentimental but I'd like to take this opportunity to say a huge thank you to all of my readers for reading, following, favouring and reviewing. Please continue to do so. I'd love to know what you think!**


	20. For Sure

**A/N: Another short chapter:**

When Jamie met Caoimhe at the airport, she collapsed into his arms again; half from exhaustion and half from content. She was over the moon to be back with him. He took her hand and they guided her through the throngs of people, also waiting for their loved ones.

When they got in, she went straight to their room. She was glad to see had moved his thing back in the day before. It made her feel as though she'd never left. She drifted off to sleep right then, fully dressed. She awoke Jamie gently shaking her. When he told her that dinner was ready, she beamed at him, before sitting up and following him into the kitchen.

'How did you know I was hungry?'

'Well,' he nodded knowledgably 'Is there anyone who enjoys airplane meals? Anyone would also find sushi boring after so long. I doubt you can find a decent pizza in Japan? Or Mexican food? Or a stew for that matter.'

That was exactly what he put in front of her. As a little girl she had always disliked it but it had grown on her and reminded her of icy winters spent by the stove in Ireland. As they ate, they spoke of what had happened to each of them since they had last met. After a while it seemed rather mundane. As soon as the dishes were cleared away, they moved away from the table. As he recounted tales of life in the 12th, she listened but her eyes had a faraway look. Not that he minded very much. While what had happened while she was interesting, it was seat-riveting. They sat without saying a word for a while, and then Jamie took it upon himself to break the silence.

'I missed you a lot but most of all I worried about you.' Caoimhe snapped back into focus instantly. She felt guilty. Caught out like the one kid who daydreams in the back of Algebra on a hot summer's day. He really didn't mind, though. He repeated himself and she listened intently. At the end of her second attempt he stopped and met her gaze. He seemed to be waiting for something.

She wasn't sure what though, so she challenged him. 'Oh yeah? Why's that then?'

_Bingo! _She thought. She must have said something right, to see his eyes light up like that. 'It's not what you think. I didn't worry because we were apart, it was more worrying because we weren't 'together' I worried in case you got knocked unconscious. What if they found your ID and cell phone, but if they couldn't figure out who I was, all because we didn't share the same name… What if I was arrested and you were forced to come back and testify against me? All that trouble just because you weren't my spouse. I want to make it official. Not because it's a slip of paper, but because it's standing up in front of God everyone I know and love and declaring that I want you to be part of my family. Yourself included; I want you to be a Reagan.'

With that he dropped to one knee and pulled a little black box from his jacket it. He popped it open 'Caoimhe Saoirse Maeve Fitzpatrick will you marry me?' All the while Caoimhe had listened, over the hammering of her own heart, her raged breathing. She was in total shock. It mustn't have come as a total surprise however because she didn't hesitate. 'Yes, I will!'

Then, she was level with him as they knelt together. He gently slipped the ring onto her finger. It was delicate and beautiful and sparkly, she didn't notice this until later however. Her smile was enough to light up the room. She was infatuated with Jamie. He had wonderful taste, in women and in jewellery, he was handsome, intelligent, kind, sweet, loving. He was by no means perfect and neither was she, but he was indeed her fiancé and she couldn't believe her luck.

Caoimhe was really excited to see fellow Reagans the next day. They all greeted her with enthusiasm and noisy chatter. Most of their questions were about Japan. However when she had answered those, it was in a free moment in the kitchen that Nicki asked 'What did you miss most about New York?' She had to think about that one.

'Um, I suppose its seating down at the breakfast table in the mornings, eating a fresh bagel and pretending to pursue _The Times_.' At that moment Danny popped in looking for the salt. 'Really, why's that?'

'Really what?' This was Jamie's question, he hadn't heard their conversation. _Oh Lord! They really did appear out of nowhere._ 'Em, if you must know I like to survey my fellow dinner with him knowing what I'm doing. The art of looking mysterious and so on….' She trailed off; she didn't have a clue what else to say. _It was kind of her thing_, s_o they weren't likely to get it._

'Oh so you're a people watcher? New York's one of the greatest cities in the world to do that. I'm one too, but you don't need to sit in Central Park all afternoon to see people. In fact I've been watching you all afternoon _here_. I've learned quite a bit to be honest.' Caoimhe felt a blush creep into her cheeks. Jamie came up beside her and took her hand, which she'd been hiding behind her back, in his. It had been a little over 18 hours since they had gotten engaged. She wasn't used to the feel of the ring on her finger yet, nor had they told anyone. Yet it seemed as though her efforts at concealment had failed. Without their saying a word, Nicki had noticed.

As her eyes came to rest on their joined hands, Jamie unclasped his hand to reveal the ring. 'Oh my God! I knew it! You got engaged! You're getting married!' With this exclamation she enveloped them in a ginormous bear hug. Throughout this whole reveal Danny had been had been standing by the cupboard with a salt shaker in his hand. The use of his feet seemed to have deserted him. Seeing this, they beckoned him over to join in their hug. He seemed a bit on the dazed side but after a celebratory glass of whiskey he seemed to be feeling better.

When asked, he admitted he wasn't shocked about the proposal but rather that he had no knowledge about its happening. He hadn't been consulted. He seemed to be a bit put out, but was soon teasing, laughing and joking like the rest. Especially when he heard Caoimhe whisper 'I don't know what he's making such a big fuss about; after all I found out just last night.' This sent him into peals of laughter.

'As for the consultancy thing, her own father didn't really get a choice in the matter,' Jamie put in. Caoimhe gave him a questioning look. 'I mean he knew, as did your mother. I didn't ask permission though. I just made it clear that you were your own person as well my intentions.' Henry wanted to know what he thought of that. 'He said he respected me the more for that and he hoped that you said yes.'

It didn't really seem as though Jamie had told anyone. Rightly so, it was their business. However, Caoimhe could tell that Frank, from the mischievous twinkle in his eye that he must have had some idea. Filled with curiosity, Caoimhe mentioned it to him offhand. 'Well, he had been working rather hard while you were away.' That was one thing she liked about Jamie, he always did things on his own terms. He always thought things through. _How long had he been planning this for? _ _When had he known for sure that they were going to spend the rest of their lives together?_

She couldn't put a time or a date on it. Yet, someday soon they would put a date on when the rest of their lives would _begin. _They would be married in the fall.

**A/N: Your thoughts? Reviews please! Also Caoimhe's other names are Irish it's pronounced; Searsha**


	21. The Next Step

**A/N: Hi, I just started back to school this week. As I'm in one of the most senior classes the work is time consuming. This might mean that I will be a little slower in updating but I will try my best and I **_**will **_** finish this story- have no fear. Enjoy this, I sure as hell enjoyed writing it.**

If there was one thing Caoimhe distinctly remembered about the day they told their families they were getting married, it was Sean's reaction. 'You're going to leave _again? _To go on honeymoon? You only just got back! What about therapy?'

She barely supressed the urge to burst into noisy laughter. _He sure had his priorities right. _She supposed it was _them _that were getting married. Their excitement was hardly going to be surpassed by family members. Anyway, these days Sean and all the Reagans considered her as much a part of their lives as any other family member. _This was just making it official. _Her face shone with mirth as she surveyed him. His brow was creased in confusion. He was at a loss as to understand what was so amusing. 'That's right, but not until you can walk with me down the aisle. Also, I'll need someone to dance with when I've tired Jamie out! I'm counting on you for that.' At that, he seemed more interested. They made a pact and a man of his word that was what they did.

On the day of their wedding, he walked almost better than she did. Her legs were simultaneously jelly-like and heavy as led. As she heard the opening chords of the wedding march, she felt frozen in time. _What had she gotten herself into? _ Then her father came and took her hand. Leading her through the doorway into her new life, which was in ways the one she had been living since the day she was fortunate enough to meet Jamie. She was so busy concentrating on where to put her feet, she neglected to look up. When she did she saw him, standing stock still waiting. The last thing she wanted was to disappoint him, all that mattered in that moment was his happiness. She knew the second, her father let go of her hand and he took it gently in his that he wasn't going to let her down. So she wouldn't do it to him either.

A wedding day is a day of unspoken things, said. It's a day of declaration, but also of action. You can say all you want, but all of that pales in comparison when you consider the act you are committing yourself to. You're standing up in a Church and taking the person that you loved to be your other half until death. It was on that day that Caoimhe truly came to realise the difference between boyfriend and girlfriend, husband and wife. What a huge difference it was! A relationship was built on respect of differences. A marriage was built on a love of someone so deep that you were willing to acknowledge their differences, but to cast them aside in favour of more important things. To stick by one another in the tough times and in the great times too. To work through your problems, to provide for each other like no one else could.

It was later on when the two of them got the chance to fully survey their surroundings. One of the most dominant worries about this day was that was how their respective families would get on together. Come to think of it, they really shouldn't have worried. They had lots of things in common; surely their families could do the same? As Jamie so bluntly put it 'Anyway they should care about you enough to put aside their own dislike for 1 day. If that can't happen then maybe it's a family I don't want to be part of.' Fortunately they didn't have to. Eoin and Frank were like chalk and cheese. One meticulous and punctual, the other about as relaxed and laid back as was physically possible. Mercifully, they did share the same sense of humour. Margaret and Linda also had a lot to talk about; both nurses and both raising disabled kids. Only, she wasn't a kid; not a more. The wedding had her in floods of tears as it hit her just how much Caoimhe had changed from the little girl she once was. Then of course, there was the fact that her other baby girl had baby boy. Katherine, David and Tyler were in town for the wedding. Feeling redundant Margaret showered her grandson with maternal love; doting on him.

He was the youngest one there. Caoimhe had a couple of cousins around Nicki's age so she had company. However Jack and Sean were a minority. Knowing this would be the case, before the wedding, Danny had made Jack promise to keep him in check; stop him from wandering off as he was so prone to doing these days. Jamie and Caoimhe had been witness to that conversation, both them beaming internally. _'Keep still' he wouldn't have had to say that a year ago. _ He seemed to look at the world in a new way, from a rather different angle now that he didn't see it sitting in his chair. He liked to just go and check things out. When he went roaming and Danny had to go hunt him down he would usually just fin him wandering. This perplexed him verymuch._ 'It's _just a room, or a hallway or whatever. I don't see what's so special- why is he so hell-bent on seeing everything?' At this query Jamie and Caoimhe remained silent. _She understood very well why and somehow it seemed that Jamie did too._

It was a room, a beautiful room that everyone else saw every day. He never thought he would see that room, he never even thought he would get as far as the corridor outside it; it just seemed too far away. Then, slowly something started to happen. Just like spring crept up on winter, you noticed a change. Every hour of every day you got a little closer to that coveted place. Suddenly you were in that room and you found that no one had described it too you properly. _What was the point? You were never going to get to see it, not really… _ Then, you beat the odds and you entered the room. When you did, you did you found that it contained something spectacular. The contents of that room were fantastic, but not right for you. So you kept trying the various doors, hoping to find one that suited you. When you did your quest would finished. Even then, you would never take the things in that room for granted. Never. You had gone through too much to get there. That was Caoimhe's understanding.

Jamie had a take on it too. What if, without you knowing it things changed? Then suddenly things reverted how they had been. for a short while. Yet, having experienced how marvellous things had been prior to the moment when everything changed. Unaware, a feeling had crept over you. When it was wrenched away from you, and over that short while you came to know just how big a part that feeling had become of your life. Then, without warning returned. However things were not as they had been. This time, you did not allow yourself to become complacent. You allowed the feeling to fill your mind, body, heart and soul worried and rightfully so that otherwise it would slip through your fingers.

Even though she was suddenly aware of where she was, Caoimhe made no attempt at tuning into the chat. Instead, she moved away. Jamie, instantly aware she was missing wondered where she had gone. Then she felt a tap on his shoulder. He spun around instantly only to come face to face with his bride. He was startled, but that didn't stop a grin manifesting itself on his face. She put her finger to her lips and drew him aside. 'What's up?'

'Will you dance with me?' For the second time in 2 minutes he found himself slightly taken aback. _That was kind of a strange request. As far as he could see no one else appeared to be dancing._

'What? Now?' He wanted to know.

She nodded her head vigorously. Her eyes bright and earnest.

'How come?' It seemed, kind of random, in a good way _but _why_ all the secrecy?_

'Because I can. Dance. With you. As my husband.' She didn't mean as a 'first dance' thing that there was meant to be a huge fuss about. She meant just a dance. Just the two of them. That was they did it as. She didn't want to make a hullaballoo over it. She wouldn't take him for granted, but they're wouldn't be fireworks every time they did something as a couple. She wanted a marriage, not just a wedding.

It was several hours later and the party was still going strong. One person, in particular. She was glad to see he was enjoying himself. In the last couple of weeks he had figured out running. Jamie detangled himself from the gaggle of relatives and joined her in a secluded corner to watch what was going. 'Are you thinking about the next stage of his therapy plan? 'Cause I'm pretty sure he's using his frame like a play thing rather than an aid. He's too good for it now.'

'You're right he does need to take the next step. He will. I promise. Just not yet. Let him have his fun for now. He's got to but so do we. It's our time.'

**A/N: Reviews would be fantasitc! Thank you for your continued support.**


	22. Ready, Steady Go- An Epilogue

**A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in a while- I've been run off my feet. Before writing this chapter I decided it would be the last one **** Here we go, one last time.. This is rather short too. **

Sunday. As usual, some would say, but if you were a Reagan you'd beg to differ. They disembarked from the car, making their way over to the back door. 'Hi gorgeous,' were the first words out of Henry's mouth. Caoimhe couldn't help but raise her eyes to heaven, grinning good- naturedly. Izzy, on the other hand reached out her chubby hands as soon as she heard his voice. She loved him. The feeling was mutual. Nicki was still the apple of Frank's eye but he got his fix of granddaughter every week from Izzy. She was still his granddaughter, but she wasn't a little girl anymore. Rather a young woman, in her 2nd near to completing her degree in criminal physcology. There was talk of her doing a Masters already- from her mother and talking of joining the academy instead- from Nicki herself.

Except it wasn't really talk. She had told Caoimhe in confidence that her mind was made up. Like all the other Reagans, she was rather decisive. Caoimhe could see where they were both coming from. Nicki wanted to continue her family tradition while wearing the badge. Erin was more following her own code. The day Nicki was born, she had sworn to protect her. That contract didn't end when she graduated High School. _It was understandable for to feel like wrapping her in cotton wool. _She was filled with dread already at the thought of her own daughter putting her life in danger everyday of her own free will. Just like her dad. He left in one piece and came home the same. Physically at least. You might rise up the ranks over the years as Jamie, but it didn't stop him from being filled with a sense of horror at the things he saw.

He had reasons to come home, but just as many to leave. Just because he decided to put down roots didn't stop the city from being plagued by opportunistic bank robbers, violent attackers, sadisic serial killers. You name it, he'd seen and New York really was a city that never slept. Caoimhe didn't either, regardless of how much of an exhausting day she'd had. Mergers, meetings, mountains of paperwork. Her work, was what some considered mundane. It was necessary though and it was what she loved. If there was one thing she knew, it was that Erin expect Nicki to b content with a job that didn't give her 100% satisfaction.

'No luck yet?' Danny wanted to know, _She could him the same question. _ They were both, talking about walking.

'He's not ready!' Danny exclaimed.

'Geez Danny, if he's not ready at this point he'll never be. He's strong. He's ready, Maybe it's just you who's not ready' Jamie put in.

Erin thumped the kitchen table in triumph. Like a judge banging a grovel. 'That's what I've been trying to tell him all afternoon.' Caoimhe somehow resisted the temptation to shoot her a scathing glance.

'You're hardly one to talk. Pushing your daughter down the career know she's not ready, so we're not going to push her. We're talking about not pushing a 14 month old. Not a boy who's 14 next month. It's been 6 years, that's long enough to wait.' At this, there was silence. She was right, there was no debating it. To escape the tension, Jamie took Izzy by the hand and they went into the living room to say hi to her cousins.

At the dinner table, the tension remained as palpable as the food. You could have cut it with a knife. One by one, the family proceeded to the living-room, under unspoken instructions. Eventually, it was just the four of them. There was a pause, before Danny and Linda pushed back their chairs. It was their turn to do the dishes. 'Do you want to work-out or something?'

She mulled this over before shaking her head. 'Nah, not today. We could see what everyone else is up to instead.' Slighty puzzled, he agreed , picked his crutch up from the floor and rose. He was about half an inch taller than her now. He was also a Reagan. They didn't like to admit that they were afraid. It was this distinct characteristic that defined him, yet not in the same way as his uncles.

It was a little while later when something came to their attention. Keep Izzy entertained and out of mischief was a major issue. In recent she'd taken to using the furniture as a means of transport. Now she was using it as a climbing frame. Everyone watcheed with baited breath as she pulled herself onto the sofa. However, it seemed she was anxious to be off again, this time with Sean in tow. She grabbed his hand playfully and he thankfully, didn't resist. Even when she wriggled forward and slid downwards. Tottering slightly as her feet hit the kep their hands linked. She turned to look at him, somewhat impatiently. As though it were a game and the next move his. Sean's brow was creased as he tried to interpet what she would havve him do. She waited, suddenly it seemed as though they had all the time in the world.

Eventually he guessed that she wanted to go for a walk. He got up, she smiled at him. He reached for his cane with his free hand, but then they ran into a problem. The hand he usually held it in, his right- the weaker side, so he could put more weight down through it, was cu


End file.
